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The Dreaded Relapse

Old 01-26-2010, 08:58 AM
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The Dreaded Relapse

No - not me! I hope the title didn't scare anyone.

I actually blogged about this (you can click on my profile to get there if you're bored) but in one of my AA meetings yesterday 'relapsing' was the topic of discussion.

What surprised me was that it seemed like almost all the old timers there talked about how many white chips they had under their belt. In fact, of everyone who shared there were only 2 people who said they walked in the door the first time and stayed sober from Day 1.

Honesty - it scared the hell out of me. All these people that I really admire and hang on their every word (and will continue to) and, yet, they've all fallen over and over and over. I guess the important thing is that they got right back up and were in the room.

I know that I need to take this thing one day at a time - just don't drink today. That said, I would be totally dishonest if I said I wasn't scared about going back to the bottle.

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Old 01-26-2010, 09:10 AM
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sure.......i understand your fear.
some do some dont....

rather than focus on the amount of people that relaspe at the start.

Why dont you focus on the ones that relasped at had a fantastic time....
i bet you cant find many of them...

the ones that relasped and got back are the lucky ones........i know plenty that didnt.....either still drinking or leaving behind loved ones.
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Old 01-26-2010, 09:10 AM
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I don't usually discuss my relapses unless it's topic relevant. Meaning, I don't spontaneously bring up relapsing in meetings. I'm constantly aware of newcomers. I don't want to put any ideas in their heads. I had thirty days three times. I'm not in the mindset of "you got sober when you were supposed to". I was supposed to be sober a long time ago.

Anyway, it seems to me that it doesn't do a newcomer any good telling them I relapsed. I sometimes say it in a round about way that it's something we always need to be on guard about because it does happen.

Mentioning it to someone who has relapsed sort of turns it into a source of encouragement. I guess I'm of the mindset of knowing who your audience is when speaking on certain topics.
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Old 01-26-2010, 09:12 AM
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Wow doesn't sound like i would have enjoyed that meeting at all! I miss my meetings in Gibraltar, one guy who was visiting said we should have a meeting about relapses and was told to **** off by about 3 old timers...quality:-)

I hope you misunderstood the old timers and they were sharing about coming to meetings and not doing any work on the steps, going back and having a drink, that to me is not a relapse, that to me is an inevitable return to the bar...they were just having a break...

Mind you i was at a meeting the othher night and this guy shared he had a drink after 15 years of not drinking coming to meetings but he is still not sure about calling himself an alcoholic...almost wet myself, had to pretend i was sneezing;-)
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Old 01-26-2010, 09:15 AM
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Such a great post! I firmly believe that I will probably never ever be able to have a drink again. I am thinking of it now and how nice it would be but I know that one sip would lead to a drink, 2,3 etc. Hiding and ashamed that people will know. I just can't do it. Not even a sip.

We all must be strong and think positive and God forbid we falter.....we will pick ourselves up again. Just accept the fact, like I do, that you are sober and do not drink. Thats it. It it part of a past life.

Huggs and so happy for you. Just remember this to shall pass!!!

Yayy for Day 7 my sober friend
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Old 01-26-2010, 04:08 PM
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Hi Racer

I have no reason to believe I'll relapse if I keep doing what I've been doing for 3 years now.

I walk with a stick - as long as I'm sensible, and as long as I take all my usual precautions, I feel confident in saying I won't fall today.

If I am unfortunate and I *do *fall, I'm confident I know how to get back up on my feet again straight away...or call for help.

(Ok so it's not a perfect analogy...I can have a falling accident that's no fault of my own...and there's no such thing in a relapse...but let not spoil the metaphor LOL )

D

Last edited by Dee74; 01-26-2010 at 04:30 PM.
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Old 01-26-2010, 04:21 PM
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Originally Posted by RacerX View Post
That said, I would be totally dishonest if I said I wasn't scared about going back to the bottle.
I don't blame you for being scared, RacerX. That fear can be useful, though, when one feels like balking. There are a couple of threats in the Big Book to keep us motivated. 'Best reason first. We may not overcome drinking if we skip this vital step' in 5th Step directions. 'Remember it was agreed to in the beginning we would go to any lengths for victory over alcohol' in 9th Step directions. And a few harsh death threats when talking about resentment and fear.

I'm not a big fan of fear based sobriety, and I find, thankfully, I don't have to base my sobriety on that. I do, however, have a lot of respect for the cunning baffling powerful nature of my alcoholism.

My experience was a year or two of not being able to stay sober. I went from doctors to counselors to treatment to rehab to AA without working the Steps. I don't know if I'd call that time serial relapsing or inability to get sober.

When I surrendered to the simple program and took the Steps to the best of my ability, that insane cycle stopped. I do the same things I learned to do when getting sober, following the principles of the Steps in my life, and I've stayed sober continuously for a few years now. I have a very high expectation that if I continue to do those same things, I can expect the same results.
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Old 01-26-2010, 05:36 PM
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Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path
That says it all for me. I tried AA 4 times, relapsed the first 3. I never really worked the steps until this time around. That has made a real difference.
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