Old 10-22-2009, 05:04 AM
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Saphie's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: My world
Posts: 379

Hello and thank you again. What a day and night? Done a lot of thinking (I really should stop that). I have always considered myself an Honest as a fart and very Open minded person so no problem there. Somehow though I think the Willingness wasn't quite right. It couldn't have been why else was I fighting with myself so much. I don't like the sound of being a HO person , I need to complete the word to read HOW. I started to take inventory yesterday. Really tried to absorb my surroundings, my feelings down to the moment I was drifting off to sleep. Now that was actually really nice even though it took a while. Too used to passing out.
I also noticed on my way home that although I do like listening to Country music, I was singing along to 'another beer in Mexico' and 'lets get drunk and be somebody'. Subconsciously I am sabotaging myself. I think I'm going to dig out my Aerosmith CD's and start screaming like Tyler instead. For a little while anyway. I'm sober and dry, but I'm not recovering. I've been wanting to do so many things, but instead all I've been doing is thinking about not drinking. Of course when I'm drinking I can't do those things anyway. So it's time to stop fighting, learning to accept that I can not, will not drink and not just now, but the rest of my life and I will start by not drinking today.
PS: When I wanted that drink this weekend, I knew it would have been 'oh well lets start after Christmas again and then after New Year and so on.
Here's to 30 days tomorrow and to you all
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Old 10-22-2009, 05:44 AM
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You are right, that recovery begins when you stop drinking, and it's a ongoing journey. Each of us moves at our own pace, so be kind to yourself and take small steps.
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Old 10-22-2009, 11:03 AM
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Join Date: May 2009
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"One day at a time"
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Old 10-22-2009, 11:08 AM
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Join Date: Oct 2009
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Congrats on your 30 days Saphie!
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Old 10-22-2009, 11:22 AM
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Old 10-22-2009, 11:25 AM
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congrats on your 30 days.
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Old 10-22-2009, 11:33 AM
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Well, I'm on my way
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: El Paso, Texas
Posts: 276
Hey, happy 30 to us! We're like in the same class

I was talking to my counselor Danny Monday. I was talking about regrets, all the things I passed up because the time and money went to booze. He, of course, was on pretty much everything when he cleaned up 15 years ago.

He said that he noticed with himself and others that all those things, those wonderful things, do come to pass. It takes time. We have to battle a little more first, I guess, go through the grief/acceptance process, but we do begin to live full lives again.
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Old 10-22-2009, 11:49 AM
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Congratulations on the 30 days :ghug2
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Old 10-22-2009, 12:33 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
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I think you're exactly where you should be Saphie.

It's as natural for us to think of not drinking as it was to think of drinking, especially in the early days...but if we're committed to recovery - making ourselves the kind of people we want to be, not just not drinking - everything will work out

Congrats on yr 30 days
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