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Old 10-17-2009, 08:13 PM   #1 (permalink)
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1X a week left in the dust


I need to express what's going on with me. I work in a small busy office for a social service agency. I've been there a year. There's a girl in the office, much younger than I, who Monday thru Thursday pays a lot of attention to me. The age difference pretty much rules out any actual relationship and that's fine. There's nothing that's gone on between us except talking, walking to the nearby store, and just hanging out at lunch together, that kind of thing. I can see she enjoys male attention. Anyway, what has happened is that there's a younger guy who just works Fridays. Monday though Thursday I get this attention from her, but on Fridays, I DON'T EXIST. Her focus is all on this other guy. I find her attractive and I guess I have kind of a thing for her, but it hasn't been a big deal. But somehow, when I feel left behind as she completely focuses and flirts with this other guy (he flirts too) on Fridays, it really hurts me. I feel humiliated. By Monday, I've kind of gotten over it and then I get drawn in again, and then Friday comes....It hurts.

I don't know whether to talk to her, ignore her or what. I recognize she has the right to focus on who she wants. She's not my girlfriend or anything but something doesn't feel right about this. I'm hesitant to show my attachment/vulnerability. But I also have an urge to tell her my feelings (about feeling used). I'm also angry in a way. I don't know if she realizes the dynamics of what is going on. I know she's had some painful relationships.

Any feedback?

p.s. 7 months sober 10/3!
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Old 10-17-2009, 08:31 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Recognizing your feelings is significant progress!! i would encourage you to continue being honest with yourself about this and let it go in your heart and mind before your affections turn into obsessions. Congrats on staying clean!!
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Old 10-17-2009, 08:38 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Huuuumm! Maybe on friday just pretend she is a Guy.
Sorry,dont know what to tell you.:ghug3
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Old 10-18-2009, 06:59 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Honestly, I would ignore her. Why invite drama when you yourself said there's no chance for a relationship anyways. She's just playing with you guys.. I'll bet
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Old 10-18-2009, 07:03 AM   #5 (permalink)
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yeah sounds like she's just playing cause she likes the attention...

U said yourself...the age difference rules out any relationship...so why care??
You can still have fun with her without actually wanting more...

If not, ignore her, altough that will proberly make her try harder to get your attention...

good luck!
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Old 10-18-2009, 07:07 AM   #6 (permalink)
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If something doesn't feel right about it....I'd follow my gut.
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Old 10-18-2009, 07:36 AM   #7 (permalink)
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she's messing with you, she's a woman, that's what they do(retract claws ladies, i only mean some of them)

you need to give up any hope of a relationship with this girl and focus on finding a woman elsewhere
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