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Old 10-15-2009, 09:56 PM   #1 (permalink)
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..i'm reaching out to the depths of sr wisdom here..ok
.i've met and be friended a family friend with serious..serious alcohol
issues..like 2 sometimes 3 bottles of op rum,per day..24/7..

..he's 53,now single and alone.
..works hard,but is drunk on the job..lost his licence to drive(thank god).

..i've taken him to his doc,today..got the the usual guidance..
..he wont listen..

..so..how do i help this fellow..he's a nice bloke..but very sick.????
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Old 10-15-2009, 10:03 PM   #2 (permalink)
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First he has to want to help himself. Glad he went to the DR. My doctor tried to talk to me about my drinking years ago. I sobered up for a bit then eventually went back to drinking. If he won't listen...I'm not sure what you can do. Be there for him when he ready....my best advice.
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Old 10-15-2009, 10:05 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Another thought--is he a danger to himself--if so, perhaps some type of intervention might be possible. But even with that--a person must want to stay sober for themselves for lasting results.
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Old 10-15-2009, 10:05 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Protect yourself. You may need to back off and let him hit bottom. It can be hard and may seem cold, but it may be what he needs.
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Old 10-15-2009, 10:17 PM   #5 (permalink)
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Well, if he doesn't know your recovery story, maybe you could just do a share, like at the meetings. Hey, I'm an alcoholic-then tell him what happened, and what your life is like now.
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Old 10-15-2009, 10:21 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Oz you're a good man - but you know the score.

I'm sure you were like me - there's nothing anyone could have said to me to make me quit until I made up your mind to do it myself.

Thinking it's any different with your mate is only gonna bring you into frustration and depression, Oz.

Be supportive for your mate, but don't walk his journey for him - and don't let his struggle become yours, mate. You have one of your own.

It's not selfish - it's about teaching a man to catch his own fish, you know?

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Old 10-15-2009, 10:24 PM   #7 (permalink)
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care for them, but don't suffer with them...
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Old 10-16-2009, 02:40 AM   #8 (permalink)
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Ozzy, don't let your good heart be the thing that brings you down...

It's one thing to share/ care. It's another to let yourself get caught up...

And a whole 'nother thing to know that there's a difference, and yet another to actually notice it as it happens.

Be careful, but for every success story there was somebody willing to try...

:ghug2


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Old 10-16-2009, 05:23 AM   #9 (permalink)
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I agree. You can't 'make' your friend want to stop drinking, he has to want that for himself. Just be there for him with support and your experience and hope.
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Old 10-16-2009, 10:03 AM   #10 (permalink)
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Perhaps giving him some literature to read would be helpful?
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Old 10-16-2009, 10:12 AM   #11 (permalink)
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Be honest with him and DON'T enable his drinking.

There were way too many people pussyfooting around me when I was still drinking, agreeing with my BS, helping me cover up my behaviour.

Take care.
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Old 10-16-2009, 02:57 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Thumbs up

..thanx..many thanx..
..i've now handed over the reigns to his step daughter..
.it's time his family gets involved..for once..thanx..again..Oz
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Old 10-16-2009, 08:50 PM   #13 (permalink)
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A good move OZ. If someone wants to drink and won't listen to any advice, then there's nothing you can do. I hope his stepdaughter and family realize this also. It's the hardest and most heartbreaking aspect of dealing with an alcoholic who won't listen, and they won't listen because they want to drink.
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