7
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Ontario
Posts: 19
7
Ok, to be truthful, i am extremely pissed off right now. My boyfriend and I had a disagreement this morning. If there is one thing I hate, it is little white lies. And being lied to. Which is ironic, considering how that would make me a hyporcrit, for all the times I have told them when i was the old me. I know sometimes people lie to spare others feelings, but for whatever reason, I don't care how much the truth hurts, I would rather that, than be lied to.
He knew I was upset when i dropped him off at work, and of course, I know he feels bad about it, so he calls half hour later, basically kissing my butt.
As soon as i drove off from him, I realized just how angry i was. I hate feeling angry, because I am not sure If i am truly angry at him, or if i am just angry again today because I really want to drink. I am not sure If i want to drink because I am angry. And I do know from many past experiences, that if i drink when i am angry, it makes nothing better. Just worse.
I guess I am truly not used to dealing with how I am feeling, and I don't know how to. All I can do is cry really, because I am just mad.
Sorry that I am ranting. I thought if i just got it off my chest, just for this minute, it would lessen my desire to get in the car and go to the store. I am fighting it with everything I have.
Thank you for letting me write. Its day 7.
He knew I was upset when i dropped him off at work, and of course, I know he feels bad about it, so he calls half hour later, basically kissing my butt.
As soon as i drove off from him, I realized just how angry i was. I hate feeling angry, because I am not sure If i am truly angry at him, or if i am just angry again today because I really want to drink. I am not sure If i want to drink because I am angry. And I do know from many past experiences, that if i drink when i am angry, it makes nothing better. Just worse.
I guess I am truly not used to dealing with how I am feeling, and I don't know how to. All I can do is cry really, because I am just mad.
Sorry that I am ranting. I thought if i just got it off my chest, just for this minute, it would lessen my desire to get in the car and go to the store. I am fighting it with everything I have.
Thank you for letting me write. Its day 7.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 34
hey One life,
Don't give in to your anger. Find something positive to do with yourself to get your mind off drinking. Think about what you just said, that when you drink when you're angry it will just make things worse. Also, you will then be feeling bad about it afterward and that won't help at all. He felt bad about the argument, so that's good.
Congrats on day 7...do what you can to make it through today
Don't give in to your anger. Find something positive to do with yourself to get your mind off drinking. Think about what you just said, that when you drink when you're angry it will just make things worse. Also, you will then be feeling bad about it afterward and that won't help at all. He felt bad about the argument, so that's good.
Congrats on day 7...do what you can to make it through today
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Anger was one of the things I have done a lot of work on, that is a major trigger for me and without my AA network I would have never stayed sober, today I still get angry but far less and far less often as well. One of the best ways I have found to deal with it is to simply call someone or go to a meeting and help some one else out or hear how other people are dealing with thier life today.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Ontario
Posts: 19
Thank you Taz. The speaker last night actually asked that. When was the last time you left a meeting really angry with someone at the meeting, and lost sleep over it? My meeting is tonite. All of these feelings today have made me decide that i need another outlet, like maybe aikido, or boxing. And definitely more meetings.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 818
Hazelden has a good quote for today. "Two things a man should never be angry at: what he can help and what he cannot help." You could probably say that this idea applies to women also. Hey, I don't write these things, I just quote them. What you're experiencing here is resentment. If you continue to go to meetings you'll hear this word a lot. We alcoholics don't handle resentment well, and that's probably the understatement of the century.
But if you stick around and work the program as we AA nazis say, you'll learn how to deal with this issue. The first step will be recognizing that resentment, anger, and all those other mean and nasty nasty feelings exist only because we let them. We allow people and events to dictate how we feel. We're angry because we let ourselves become angry. I know this may sound like a lot of pie-in-the-sky, but it's true.
I would suggest that if you haven't already done so, get yourself a temporary sponsor. Just pick someone (preferably another woman) who has some sobriety and walk up and ask them. You can always change sponsors down the line, but it's good to have someone to talk (vent) to early on in sobriety. So don't beat yourself up here. You're human and humans get angry. It's us alcoholic humans that have problems, but there are things we can do to deal with them.
But if you stick around and work the program as we AA nazis say, you'll learn how to deal with this issue. The first step will be recognizing that resentment, anger, and all those other mean and nasty nasty feelings exist only because we let them. We allow people and events to dictate how we feel. We're angry because we let ourselves become angry. I know this may sound like a lot of pie-in-the-sky, but it's true.
I would suggest that if you haven't already done so, get yourself a temporary sponsor. Just pick someone (preferably another woman) who has some sobriety and walk up and ask them. You can always change sponsors down the line, but it's good to have someone to talk (vent) to early on in sobriety. So don't beat yourself up here. You're human and humans get angry. It's us alcoholic humans that have problems, but there are things we can do to deal with them.
Owner of a strange glitch.
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: midsouth
Posts: 2,331
Congrats on 7.
The emotions are sure fun, aren't they?
And anger... Used to have anger problems. Actually, I still get angry, but I learned over a decade ago to not let it get out of control, because as much as the liquor might take me, anger will take me farther and faster.
If it's something you're having trouble with, and it sounds like, try doing what everybody suggested on a regular basis, exercize and regular communication with somebody such as a sponsor--someone you can talk freely to--will help to ease the stresses inside--and make you less likely to get angry. Also remember that Hungry/Angry/Lonely/Tired thing--everything in it (including anger) increases the odds of getting angry with someone, whether it's aimed at them or not.
Keep up the good work, OneLife.
TB
The emotions are sure fun, aren't they?
And anger... Used to have anger problems. Actually, I still get angry, but I learned over a decade ago to not let it get out of control, because as much as the liquor might take me, anger will take me farther and faster.
If it's something you're having trouble with, and it sounds like, try doing what everybody suggested on a regular basis, exercize and regular communication with somebody such as a sponsor--someone you can talk freely to--will help to ease the stresses inside--and make you less likely to get angry. Also remember that Hungry/Angry/Lonely/Tired thing--everything in it (including anger) increases the odds of getting angry with someone, whether it's aimed at them or not.
Keep up the good work, OneLife.
TB
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