Hi
krylonB
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: virginia
Posts: 12
Hi
I am so happy to have found this place to learn, share and vent. Day one here, and so far what I have seen is very encouraging.
I have drank off and on for the last 30 years. My longest sobriety was 2 years, and like a fool I thought I could just have 1 glass of wine at a celebration. This was just opening the cagedoor of the demon who had been locked up for 2 years. Since then I have struggled with varying degrees of sobriety: 6 months here, 2 months there, etc. and then the cagedoor of the alcohol fiend gets loose again. I know the ritual very well, and I am just simply tired of having to go through withdrawal again and again. I find the 1st 3 days to be the toughest; that's when I shake and feel like I will crawl out of my skin from nerves; but I DO know that phase goes away for me in a few weeks ( which is where I am right now). I just don't ever want to go through that again, and that is keeping me going for now.
Thanks for letting me share.
kB
I have drank off and on for the last 30 years. My longest sobriety was 2 years, and like a fool I thought I could just have 1 glass of wine at a celebration. This was just opening the cagedoor of the demon who had been locked up for 2 years. Since then I have struggled with varying degrees of sobriety: 6 months here, 2 months there, etc. and then the cagedoor of the alcohol fiend gets loose again. I know the ritual very well, and I am just simply tired of having to go through withdrawal again and again. I find the 1st 3 days to be the toughest; that's when I shake and feel like I will crawl out of my skin from nerves; but I DO know that phase goes away for me in a few weeks ( which is where I am right now). I just don't ever want to go through that again, and that is keeping me going for now.
Thanks for letting me share.
kB
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: In my head...tis dark in here!
Posts: 213
...I've only been here a couple of days myself...welldone you on the two years sobriety...that one glass has a lot to answer to hey...you can get sober, you've done it...you just gotta find a way to stay there, to say no to that one first drink...so hard when you're feeling fit and well and in control...you think you can handle it...we need to remind ourselves what it leads to ...like I said the other day, if we could bottle up all the despair, anguish/anxiety, shame and guilt, not to mention the physical stuff, and open it upon the urge then we'd all be cured hey....keep fighting ...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Rural OK
Posts: 329
Welcome! Your story sounds just like mine and many others here. For me( and I certainly no expert yet) I had to come to a place of complete desperation in order to have the desire to never drink again. I came to realize, with my sponsors help that my life is UNMANAGEABLE-drunk or sober- It takes a power Higher than myself to make my life have balance! I also need a support group, that's where SR & AA come in I'm still a work in progress but at least now for the first time in my life I'm at the perfect time and have the tools necessary to never pick up again- and boy it feels GOOD!!! I hope you stick around- There is lots of good help here!
krylonB
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: virginia
Posts: 12
Thanks for all your encouraging replies! I am sure I will stick around; I get addicted to Bulletin Boards as much as I do to alcohol (haha).My ex left me 10 years ago and it was because of internet addiction, more than the drinking.
I am in Richmond, capital of the Confederacy for all who care.
I attend the AA meetings at the Roundhouse in Byrd Park.
kB
I am in Richmond, capital of the Confederacy for all who care.
I attend the AA meetings at the Roundhouse in Byrd Park.
kB
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,569
Welcome Krylon - your story is almost exactly like mine, too. Longterm drinker - I was sober 3 yrs. and went on a date for the first time in ages & he ordered wine. Did I say "I don't drink?" oh, no...I drank that glass and several more that night. Off to the races for SEVEN years until I found SR and was comforted & encouraged because I wasn't alone anymore. We know there's no way to moderate or drink like the normies - no point in trying that ever again. If there were to be a next time for me, I'm quite sure that'd be the end of my life. My body just can't take it anymore.
Looking forward to hearing more about you and your journey to a sober life, lived free from the poison.
Looking forward to hearing more about you and your journey to a sober life, lived free from the poison.
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