least

Staying sober is possible, one day at a time.

brokenhalo

when i introduced myself, and added the words "...and i'm an alcoholic" i instantly teared up. the whole meeting i was shaking and listening in awe, trying not to completely lose it. it did give me hope, but like i said originally, i'm scared as hell. i don't want to confront the pain i have caused others. i don't want to straighten out all the lies. the lies to my exgf, the lies to my family, the lies to my therapist (who happens to be a drug and alcohol counselor that i was going to for CBT). that work forced me look at my alcohol. now, i have to go into his office and tell him how many times i sat there talking with a straight face, right after slamming a half pint of vodka. he's gotta know. he had to. wow.

what is the best way to use this website to start step one? i want to get going on this. thanks again

bh

NewBeginning010

Dont think too far ahead, it will be too overwhelming. Just for today is ok... for now.

I know I have been promoting the heck out of these videos but they have helped me so much lately so... here they are:

mistycshore

bh,

You don't have to confront all that today, this week or even this month. Time takes time. One thing at a time. There is a step study in the 12-step forum for alcohol, and your counselor can probably help you too. I echo what was said above: You are an inspiration. Thanks.

brokenhalo

you both are correct, and thank you again for the words of encouragement. i do get too far ahead of myself sometimes. it hasn't even been 24 hours since my last drink and i want to be through the steps. one day receiving help here, one meeting, seeing the hope in my family members eyes, hearing a skeptical joy in my exgf's voice, makes we want sobriety so badly. just finally admitting it to myself and adressing it openly has helped with the burden. i just don't want to lose the desire. more fear.

misstep

Good for you on going! You should be very proud of yourself

geothinkah

You are an inspiration Brokenhalo! Keep on the path and everything will be ok.

keithj

Sounds like you had a great first meeting experience. It's wonderful to know that you aren't the only person to feel like this. But a common problem is only one part of the deal. A common solution is the other part in "the powerful cement that binds."

So, find somebody that is part of that common solution. Find somebody who has had a spiritual awakening as the result of the 12 steps.

Like others have said, it's best to take things a step at a time. When you are ready to face these things, you will have the power to do so. In order to recover, I had to do many things that I didn't want to do. I had to face things that I didn't want to face. If I hadn't done that, those things would have still held power over me, and it is doubtful I would have recovered.

Hang on to that desperation. It's your best friend while recovering. The best way, in my opinion, is to find someone face to face that can show you the solution in the Big Book. Step one is mostly contained in the Dr.'s Opinion and the first 43 pages. Then again, all steps lead to step one. Then use the website for support and discussion of recovery.

Please feel free to PM me.

brokenhalo

thanks keith,

i think i am going to try to find a twelve step book today. i'm currently reading a book on being mindful in relationships, and it addresses addictive and abusive relationships. itt is amazing the similarities that alcoholism has with addictive and abusive relationships. the author suggests twelve step programs for this as well since the power of toxic individuals is as devestating as the power of toxic substance. in my recovery, it's important to rid myself of all toxins. i look forward to fully engaging the process as i suspect it will impact me in every area of my life, not just substance abuse. thank you and thank you all.

bh

Firehazard

Wow, I am so inspired by your first moves to share the load. A big book is a great decision for a next step. The chapter "The doctors opinion" was huge for me. It is located at the beginning before chapter 1.