Waterman

I'm a new person now, and that is good. It's tough getting to know the new me, however. Wife is now married to a stranger.....She's happy for me, and I'm happy too. Only difference now for me is a lower sex drive.......weird!!!

shaun00

It took a while for my marriage to become stable.

As you so rightly said....we become different people and you need to get to know each other again.....the real you......without the piggy in the middle.

Sex drive returned to normal within 3/6 months from what i can remember..

our marriage blossomed over time.......we became kids again and did all the dating thing again...

i love her dearly for who she is...

believe me she deserves a medal......

trucker

MycoolFitz

Yea, weird but true. I am not the man my wife married and we both know it. She is happy for my sobriety but somewhat bitter toward me,for having presented myself under false pretences,i.e. closet alcoholic. My sex drive has changed as well though I'm working on it. The best thing about me is that its not the old me. Also Buddhist would say ultimately there is no self we can pin pointif we lok closely. We are inperminate and constantly changing. If someone shows you your baby picture and asks "Is that you" what do you answer? It is and it isn't. We are a comglameration of stories we have been told and stories we tell ourselves and roles we take on in life, including alcoholic/addict. Are any of these us? Yes and know. The gift is we can construct us moment by moment.

The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another. ~James Matthew Barrie

But yes, sex life is different, everything is different. As long as I stay sober all else can work out.

CarolD

Sober sex can beome more exciteing....
you don't stink of alcohol....
and you don't pass out mid way...
so you pay more attention to your partner

Blessings to both of you...

Waterman

I didn't realize how much I 'worshipped" sex until going sober for a while.....I was also shocked to read that this "phenomenon" of being "over-sexed" when drinking is quite common. I do hope that a "happy medium" is found in the future....Thanks for the posts!!!

Waterman

Thanks, Carol! You're right about not smelling of alcohol, but I've gone from acting like a 20-year old to being more like a 70 year-old..... I've only been off the booze for a little over 2 months, so I'm gonna be patient.....My sanity has returned, so maybe all else will follow...........LOL

martha27

Waterman
I have turned from a racy 36 year old yummy mummy to a tired granny, needless to say the down side of this is that my husband is not too keen on my sobriety especially as I am continually on SR with you guys and not drinking and having fun with him.

In all of this though something has changed and that is my memory and for the first time I am having flashbacks to the boy I first kissed etc. I seem to be waking up that girl from so many years ago before I started drinking and I guess my imagination is coming alive again. I am really looking forward to being the 'real' me in retrospect I quite like that girl, especially compared to the drunk I became. Half the time if I had sex I could not even remember it the next day...seriously thats gross I am ashamed about that

I figure that when my body gets better this blip will change, but I can tell you that I am experiencing it as well, you are not alone!

Waterman

Thanks for sharing that.....I guess that myself, like others, wants to know 'how long" it will take to start being "normal" again....

martha27

Good point Waterman, I asked my sponsor tonight and she said up to 6months but usually only 3-4 max, however this is for a woman, maybe men are different?

Waterman

Thanks....Seems that I have also heard 90 days or so, average....Hey, I'm almost there!!!!