I need to be here!
momfirst
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 1
I need to be here!
Glad to find such a site b/c I need someone to talk to about my problem. I keep wanting the peo for people around me to catch me drinking every day. I can't believe I'm this good. It seems people would know who know me. Am I really that good of an actress? I think not. I know people might say maybe they do know and just don't say anything...nope...everyone around me loves amd cares for me. My mother lives with me...need I say more? I am really in tune with myself when I'm drinking b/c I don't want people to spoil the feeling that I need to feel that the alcohol gives me but I really do want someone to pull my card. I know that's the only way I'll stop. I'm too in control until I'm not anymore and I don't want anything bad to happen. I need alcohol to deal with everything. My dad was an alcoholic so I'm doomed. What makes me really want to stop the most is that I cringe at the thought of my son having my bad genes and keeping the family tradition going. He's 3. I guess I'm just looking for some support here. I'm strong for everyone else but I just need some dialogue from people who know where I'm coming from to get me started in the right step.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,456
Hi welcome to SR slipperyslope.
I was a good actor too - until my alcoholism progressed and pretty soon everyone knew about it. Sadly by that stage? I didn't care anymore.
I think you've made the right choice to come here now.
I don't think anyone is doomed as an alcoholic - there are many programmes, many ways to sobriety. There's a lot of support and advice here for anyone just starting off.
I hope you read a few threads, find some things you identify with, and post some more.
D
I was a good actor too - until my alcoholism progressed and pretty soon everyone knew about it. Sadly by that stage? I didn't care anymore.
I think you've made the right choice to come here now.
I don't think anyone is doomed as an alcoholic - there are many programmes, many ways to sobriety. There's a lot of support and advice here for anyone just starting off.
I hope you read a few threads, find some things you identify with, and post some more.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: ozstrayleeya
Posts: 2,950
indeed...you're most welcome here...your story is one a lot of us share..I'm a guitarist,singer etc.etc..fun guy..but i was usually well fuelled before entering the stage..any stage of life..people new, but that was what they expected..Oz is great after a few..get him another...and so on...but..big but..they didn't see the next day..the next black-out..nor does anyone really understand someone elses 'depression'.so i don't wanna drink any more...i'm 56 and just want to healthy,happy and still be a fun guy...lol.Oz...BTW..keep posting..won't you?...
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR, let me tell you that you are not alone. I like you was able to hide my drinking for may years until my disease progressed to the point where alcohol owned me physically, mentally, and spiritually.
I did not draw a sober breath the last 5 years I drank, my family was in the process of moving out in less then a month when I finally saw the writing on the wall, not only was I going to lose them, but in less then a year I would lose everything material I had as well and all that awaited me was a slow death from my alcoholism.
I had no idea how I was going to be able to stop drinking, I was at the point where I was physically addicted to alcohol, drinking was no longer a choice for me, I had to drink every day or BAD THINGS STARTED TO HAPPEN!
I called a drug & alcohol hotline, they set me up to see a doctor. I told the doctor the whole truth about my drinking and I was willing to do what ever I needed to do to stop drinking, he told me I needed to be medically detoxed.
I went into detox and there they told me repeatedly that if I wanted a CHNCE to stay sober I needed to go to at least 90 AA meeting in 90 days and get a sponsor.
I got out of detox and went straight to an AA meeting that night and got a sponsor, mentally my mind was screaming for a drink while another part of my mind was telling me I could not drink again.
Well in AA I found HOPE!!!! There were people who were smiling and laughing who had been just like me or worse yet here they were sober!!!!!
They told me that if I wanted what they had they would be happy to give it to me for free!!!! All I had to do was do what they had done! What had they done?
1. Gone to a lot of meetings in early sobriety.
2. They had got a sponsor.
3. They followed suggestions.
4. They took the 12 steps with thier sponsor.
5. They made good solid sober friends both in & outside of AA.
6. They passed on to other suffering alcoholics what had been passed on to them.
7. They lived life on lifes terms sober.
AA is not the only path to sobriety, there are others, but it is the path that worked for me and millions of other alcoholics. Why not go to 9 or 10 different meetings and check it out?
What do you have to lose? A few nights drunk?
What do you have to gain? Life itself? A happy family?
I did not draw a sober breath the last 5 years I drank, my family was in the process of moving out in less then a month when I finally saw the writing on the wall, not only was I going to lose them, but in less then a year I would lose everything material I had as well and all that awaited me was a slow death from my alcoholism.
I had no idea how I was going to be able to stop drinking, I was at the point where I was physically addicted to alcohol, drinking was no longer a choice for me, I had to drink every day or BAD THINGS STARTED TO HAPPEN!
I called a drug & alcohol hotline, they set me up to see a doctor. I told the doctor the whole truth about my drinking and I was willing to do what ever I needed to do to stop drinking, he told me I needed to be medically detoxed.
I went into detox and there they told me repeatedly that if I wanted a CHNCE to stay sober I needed to go to at least 90 AA meeting in 90 days and get a sponsor.
I got out of detox and went straight to an AA meeting that night and got a sponsor, mentally my mind was screaming for a drink while another part of my mind was telling me I could not drink again.
Well in AA I found HOPE!!!! There were people who were smiling and laughing who had been just like me or worse yet here they were sober!!!!!
They told me that if I wanted what they had they would be happy to give it to me for free!!!! All I had to do was do what they had done! What had they done?
1. Gone to a lot of meetings in early sobriety.
2. They had got a sponsor.
3. They followed suggestions.
4. They took the 12 steps with thier sponsor.
5. They made good solid sober friends both in & outside of AA.
6. They passed on to other suffering alcoholics what had been passed on to them.
7. They lived life on lifes terms sober.
AA is not the only path to sobriety, there are others, but it is the path that worked for me and millions of other alcoholics. Why not go to 9 or 10 different meetings and check it out?
What do you have to lose? A few nights drunk?
What do you have to gain? Life itself? A happy family?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: New England
Posts: 95
Welcome! I know the feeling of playing the actor. Most around me have no idea what my real drinking habits are like, or if they do they've never indicated it. Many times I wished someone would just say "Hey, I know what you are doing to yourself" as that would give me a great reason to just come clean. In the end I've decided that I'm not going to wait to get to that point, I'd rather start recovering for me.
I'm glad you found us and hope you stick around! Theres a lot of people here and a vast amount of knowledge and support.
I'm glad you found us and hope you stick around! Theres a lot of people here and a vast amount of knowledge and support.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,788
Please don't believe you're 'doomed' to alcoholism, you can stop drinking now for your own good and you'll stop the progression of alcoholism for good, for your own good. Please don't wait to be 'caught', stop now, catch yourself and stop drinking one day at a time. Sobriety isn't easy but it's so worth the effort.
Others around you may have already noticed your drinking, maybe just aren't saying anything about it cause they may be in denial about your drinking. Your child deserves a sober mom. You deserve a sober life. Give yourself a chance and stop now before it gets any worse, before something really bad happens to you as a result.
to SR! I'm glad you found us!
Others around you may have already noticed your drinking, maybe just aren't saying anything about it cause they may be in denial about your drinking. Your child deserves a sober mom. You deserve a sober life. Give yourself a chance and stop now before it gets any worse, before something really bad happens to you as a result.
to SR! I'm glad you found us!
Focus
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Washington DC
Posts: 206
Welcome... and good luck on your journey into sobriety. One thing I do have to say is that yes, it is shown that alcoholism can be genetic...but sometimes it is not... pretty much anyone can become an alcoholic if they drink enough and often enough. I personally didn't know what defined an alcoholic, but I am in a field where I have had courses on medical/dental genetics which have included alcoholism as an inherited disease of sorts. Possibly you have inherited the ever elusive alcoholism gene, but it is never a sure thing. Women actually have a MUCH higher threshold than men. This unfortunately does also mean that if a woman has a son and in fact has the genetic defect of sorts, he does have an even better chance of becoming alcoholic if he isn't careful. Just be sure that you didn't have yourself in this boat by assumption that you have the genetics for it. It may just have been the habit that ended up causing dependence. Stay strong at any rate 
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 237
Welcome!! I am new here too.
I thought no one knew about my drinking either until I recently came clean. In fact just today I was talking to a friend and confessed my alcoholism etc and she said "ya I knew" And I said I couldnt believe she didnt say anything. And she said that she loved me no matter what, drunk or sober and she knew there was nothing she could say about it. I was surprised, I thought I was fooling everyone. You'd be surprised what people already know but just arent saying. Especially if you are a pretty happy, functioning drunk. They dont want to rock the boat any more than you do.
However, you dont want to get to the point where something tragic or irreversible happens. You are probably better off doing something about it now because in my experience and from what I have heard here, it only gets worse and harder to quit the longer it goes on.
Besides, I am way happier without booze than I ever was with it. Drinking made me feel good for the first few drinks but like a loser for the rest of the time.
Keep posting, its great to have you!
I thought no one knew about my drinking either until I recently came clean. In fact just today I was talking to a friend and confessed my alcoholism etc and she said "ya I knew" And I said I couldnt believe she didnt say anything. And she said that she loved me no matter what, drunk or sober and she knew there was nothing she could say about it. I was surprised, I thought I was fooling everyone. You'd be surprised what people already know but just arent saying. Especially if you are a pretty happy, functioning drunk. They dont want to rock the boat any more than you do.
However, you dont want to get to the point where something tragic or irreversible happens. You are probably better off doing something about it now because in my experience and from what I have heard here, it only gets worse and harder to quit the longer it goes on.
Besides, I am way happier without booze than I ever was with it. Drinking made me feel good for the first few drinks but like a loser for the rest of the time.
Keep posting, its great to have you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
Originally Posted by shelly009 
I thought no one knew about my drinking either until I recently came clean. In fact just today I was talking to a friend and confessed my alcoholism etc and she said "ya I knew" And I said I couldnt believe she didnt say anything. And she said that she loved me no matter what, drunk or sober and she knew there was nothing she could say about it. I was surprised, I thought I was fooling everyone. You'd be surprised what people already know but just arent saying. Especially if you are a pretty happy, functioning drunk. They dont want to rock the boat any more than you do.
However, you dont want to get to the point where something tragic or irreversible happens. You are probably better off doing something about it now because in my experience and from what I have heard here, it only gets worse and harder to quit the longer it goes on.
However, you dont want to get to the point where something tragic or irreversible happens. You are probably better off doing something about it now because in my experience and from what I have heard here, it only gets worse and harder to quit the longer it goes on.
Keep posting.
TC MI
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Traverse city MI
Posts: 73
HI,SR is a great place to start. their are all kinds of alcoholics on here. we are all a little different sharing the same struggle.. Its great knowing your not alone in this.. looking forward to hearing more..Jay
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