29 days, feeling blue
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 118
29 days, feeling blue
If I make it through today (and I think I will) I will have 29 days of sobriety under my belt, and I feel good about that. I have a little treat planned for myself (a movie) on Saturday to celebrate a month.
Maybe it's the rain. Probably not. It's been raining on my heart for months. I feel so down this week. My wife's absence is so pronounced in my life. I'm so lonely. I talk to her every day. Yesterday I dropped by her new apartment to drop off a few things. She looks so good. She was on her way to the gym. She's really happy, and it shows. I feel so bad about that, and I shouldn't. I should be happy for her happiness, but it hurts me to know that she's better off without me. It hurts in a way I've never hurt.
My financial situation is precarious, too, and that's not helping anything. I can't find any kind of work, and rent's due in 12 days. People owe me money from projects I've done recently, but they're dodging me. I don't know what I'm going to do if I can't collect. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise -- the need for frugality is a good motivator not to drink.
It seems like the only thing I have going for me right now is my sobriety, and I nearly blew that last night after visiting my wife.
Oh well. As my grandma used to say, "This, too, shall pass."
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.
Maybe it's the rain. Probably not. It's been raining on my heart for months. I feel so down this week. My wife's absence is so pronounced in my life. I'm so lonely. I talk to her every day. Yesterday I dropped by her new apartment to drop off a few things. She looks so good. She was on her way to the gym. She's really happy, and it shows. I feel so bad about that, and I shouldn't. I should be happy for her happiness, but it hurts me to know that she's better off without me. It hurts in a way I've never hurt.
My financial situation is precarious, too, and that's not helping anything. I can't find any kind of work, and rent's due in 12 days. People owe me money from projects I've done recently, but they're dodging me. I don't know what I'm going to do if I can't collect. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise -- the need for frugality is a good motivator not to drink.
It seems like the only thing I have going for me right now is my sobriety, and I nearly blew that last night after visiting my wife.
Oh well. As my grandma used to say, "This, too, shall pass."
Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,514
I'm sorry it's difficult for you right now. It must have been hard to see your wife doing so well, even though I'm sure that's what you want for her. Stay focused on your recovery and things will work out.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 246
I'm not far ahead of you. 38 days today, but I understand the feelings you describe all too well. When I get down, one phrase helps me a lotta bit: "At least I'm sober." Drinking won't help anything. It will just make things worse. Hang in there and keep posting.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
(((SurviveIt)))
geez - things are rough for most of us at 30 days anyway, without all that other stuff too...I'm sorry. I'm glad you're focusing tho. Staying sober really is the way forward.
Stick close, mate
D
geez - things are rough for most of us at 30 days anyway, without all that other stuff too...I'm sorry. I'm glad you're focusing tho. Staying sober really is the way forward.
Stick close, mate
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: uk
Posts: 2,548
Thats tough.....
that sort of stuff is gonna hurt....whether your 29days or 29 years.
I admire your courage in staying sober..
you got plenty of support?.......AA or another programme?
people you can call..or family?
there are times when i have no idea why life can get that tough... but i do know that if i remain sober the chances are it will pass.
god be with you.......trucker
that sort of stuff is gonna hurt....whether your 29days or 29 years.
I admire your courage in staying sober..
you got plenty of support?.......AA or another programme?
people you can call..or family?
there are times when i have no idea why life can get that tough... but i do know that if i remain sober the chances are it will pass.
god be with you.......trucker
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I'm sorry you're hurting so right now. I heard there are good things and bad things that come from staying sober. The good thing is, you get your feelings back. The bad thing is, you get your feelings back.
Grandma was right: this too shall pass. Stay strong. It does get better.:ghug
Grandma was right: this too shall pass. Stay strong. It does get better.:ghug
13 May 2009
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 83
I too really feel for you right now, try and avoid things that might challenge your sobriety and truly take it day by day. Each day is a massive achievement, you have 29 days of success already under your belt, you feel like you are loosing, turn your mind around you are winning Survivieit!!! Make sure you have you support structure in place, start each day with a plan. break down problems into little bits, i.e. make a phone call, etc
Congratulations on 29 days, you will start feeling better soon, and for the record getting sober and facing my life has been as depressing as hell, but I am not going down to the bottom of the mountain again! Keep it up you are WINNING and SR is here and your other problems will become less depressing and more managable very soon:ghug3
Congratulations on 29 days, you will start feeling better soon, and for the record getting sober and facing my life has been as depressing as hell, but I am not going down to the bottom of the mountain again! Keep it up you are WINNING and SR is here and your other problems will become less depressing and more managable very soon:ghug3
lunarlovelunar
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 674
Congrats on your 29 days...that is quite an achievement. Thats great that you plan on treating yourself to a movie.
I'm sorry you are hurting right now. Of course, sober or not, life will keep on keeping on...
The great thing is that when we are sober we can enjoy the goodness that come our way. At least for me when I was drinking the only part of life I really felt was the despair. You maybe hurting now but tomorrow is another day. Things can change so quickly .... especially when we are taking care of ourselves. Hang on.
:ghug3
I'm sorry you are hurting right now. Of course, sober or not, life will keep on keeping on...
The great thing is that when we are sober we can enjoy the goodness that come our way. At least for me when I was drinking the only part of life I really felt was the despair. You maybe hurting now but tomorrow is another day. Things can change so quickly .... especially when we are taking care of ourselves. Hang on.
:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,947
way to go on the 29 days
i feel your pain concerning your wife. alcohol and drugs will never take that pain away. perhaps for a short stint it may seem to be gone, but after it's over the pain comes back and with new things to add to the list of things that cause pain.
kepe up the good work
i feel your pain concerning your wife. alcohol and drugs will never take that pain away. perhaps for a short stint it may seem to be gone, but after it's over the pain comes back and with new things to add to the list of things that cause pain.
kepe up the good work
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