SillyBilly

I've had the worst morning. For starters, I work in a call centre, very stressful envirnmoent. I didn't eat a big enough breakfast, we have been flat out all morning, the company equipment (computers and headsets) and all sh!te, out of date and barely working. On top of that, my boss and team leader took me into the tiny room just before and he gave me stern talking to (yelled at me) because they've noticed my performance slipping over the last several days. There's more, but you get the picture.

Since then I just felt like crap. I tried very hard to just get on with my job, but I just felt so depressed and low it was really hard. Using did enter my mind.

I have to wrap this up because my break is over and I don't need the boss yelling at me again. But I feel so much better now, I'm focused and my mood has lifted. I recognise the depressed period I just endured as a psychological craving. It wasn't my body physically crying out for substances, it was my mind telling me I feel like sh!t and 'you know, if you take some drugs after your drink or stop by the bottle shop you WILL feel better' but I chose to ignore it.

Very proud of myself. I only recognised this as a craving AFTER it had passed. Now I can spot the early warning signs and this will help me next time I find myself in a similar situation.


Much love

Dee74

starting to recognise our patterns of behaviour and our feelings is over half the battle I think
SB - well done mate

D

martha27

Hey sillybilly, take care of yourself, it sounds like you have clear idea of what is going on. Those environments (call centres) are peformance based and there is little space for errors or illness, it is really harsh. But on the plus side, it is a really challenging environment and if you can make it through then you can put up with a high degree of stress all day. What I find works for me is instead of focusing on the failure is set yourself mini goals and break your day into little mini achievements, get through one phone call, deal with a confrontation without blowing your stack etc.

p.s. I found that eating properly was really important and I actually did some research and I am trying to have a low GI diet i.e oats for breakfast etc

Take care sillybilly hang in there!

SillyBilly

I just finished my shift and the last hour and a half was great!

I'm glad the boss yelled at me, I'm glad I felt like crap, I'm glad I kept my cool and focus.
The boss DID tell me, "If it happens again (unreliability) then I'm out". LOL
What was I supposed to tell him? "Uhh boss, I'm going through chemical withdrawal"

Ah I can see the days getting easier AND harder ahead. I've been all over the place today. My head and mood. I'm suffering hard in this detox, and even though there are parts I really dislike, I'm enjoying it and I'm glad I chose to do it this way.


Thanks Dee

Martha that's exactly what I've been doing, setting little goals, ignoring the clock and my break times. Staying totally focused on each individual phone call and during that call it's all that's on my mind and the only that matters. And most of the calls are 30 seconds or less each!

littlebluedog

Maybe? He might appreciate the honesty and be understanding. If he's not the type, then scratch that. Sounds like you're doing great though! Congrats on deciding to live sober.

waterfountain

I'm glad you made it through the day sillybilly!
I've been given a stern talking to (that was in April I think) about always using my sick time (my mindset at the time was
hey, we're given sick time, why can't we use it?!") - so you have my empathy there. That always killed the rest of my day; I'm so happy that you didn't let it get you down! Rock on!
Stick with it; you're doing great!

hendershot

A cliche acronym comes to mind: HALT--hungry, angry, lonely, tired. These are the states that are to be avoided especially early in sobriety and a good check list if you are really craving (i.e. ask yourself, did I get enough sleep, eat enough, etc.) Recognizing these along with your personal triggers is essential in relapse prevention.

SillyBilly

That is a good point littlebluedog. You never know, he might an addict too. He may have had someone close to him go through the same thing. I'll keep that in mind, thank you for your input


Cheers waterfountain. I just had a session with my new telephone counsellor, which my boss referred me to and the company is paying for. They suggested I take a week off and say I have the flu, but I had to reject the idea. My boss is already pissed, and I'm through the worst part already. Thank you for you support!


WOW hendershot, absolutely fantastic advice, thank you!! I'm going to write that one down and carry it with me everywhere

adiktinrecovry

Yeah it's always going ot be back to basics. When there is a disturbance then my first priority it to calm that disturbance and this has always worked for me, thinking through this halt and knowing where I did not get enough sleep or eat or drink enough water... seems silly at first to some people but it's health on every level. Once we straighten out spiritually then the rest falls into place. The rest being my emotional mental and physical health right? Everything is galling right into place ! Thank you for this ! When I get thr "rid"s going on or am at a "halt" thinking it through with my "closed mouth friend is priceless and if I cannot get her on the phone I always have my HP to talk with me. It works it really does !

SillyBilly

Word brother

edit: sorry, sister.