Hello.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 4
Hello.
First, I've got to say that reading posts here has been very inspiring for me. But I also need to say that registering was a pain as I am colour blind and reading the verification code gave me quite a challenge.
So, I'll introduce myself. My name is Neil. I've been battling with alcohol for about four years now. Prior to that, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and had to quit my job. After that, My Fiancée left me and I lost my home. I agreed to go on medication for depression and anxiety, but had a severe reaction to the combination of meds. I ended up having to move in with family on the opposite side of the country while I recovered.
So I guess the best way to describe myself is to say that one day I woke up far from home. Single, homeless, broke and very sick.
Recovering from the meds was more difficult than I had expected. I had a roof over my head, but nothing more than a hockey bags worth of possessions and looking very different from the locals, I ended up withdrawing.
I'm not sure when I started drinking excessively. But I do remember that day in 2006 when I stopped caring. The pain I'd been trying so hard to avoid washed over me. From that day on, alcohol was no longer a coping mechanism, it was an escape.
I come to you today as a man who is terrified. I've read many posts from people in my situation and that has given me enough strength to write this. My anxiety makes group meetings and face to face contact very difficult. I'm almost a shut in.
I guess I'm looking for a place to talk. I'm happy being alone with my dogs and cats, but I am no longer sure if the isolation is good for me. I thought it would help but I seem to be in the same place.
Anyway, I'm not too good with words.
Thanks for listening.
So, I'll introduce myself. My name is Neil. I've been battling with alcohol for about four years now. Prior to that, I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and had to quit my job. After that, My Fiancée left me and I lost my home. I agreed to go on medication for depression and anxiety, but had a severe reaction to the combination of meds. I ended up having to move in with family on the opposite side of the country while I recovered.
So I guess the best way to describe myself is to say that one day I woke up far from home. Single, homeless, broke and very sick.
Recovering from the meds was more difficult than I had expected. I had a roof over my head, but nothing more than a hockey bags worth of possessions and looking very different from the locals, I ended up withdrawing.
I'm not sure when I started drinking excessively. But I do remember that day in 2006 when I stopped caring. The pain I'd been trying so hard to avoid washed over me. From that day on, alcohol was no longer a coping mechanism, it was an escape.
I come to you today as a man who is terrified. I've read many posts from people in my situation and that has given me enough strength to write this. My anxiety makes group meetings and face to face contact very difficult. I'm almost a shut in.
I guess I'm looking for a place to talk. I'm happy being alone with my dogs and cats, but I am no longer sure if the isolation is good for me. I thought it would help but I seem to be in the same place.
Anyway, I'm not too good with words.
Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 85
Welcome! You're in the right place 
I have no experience with anxiety (other than the plain old nervousness) but it sounds like that's going to be a tough one! For me (I can't say what's right for you) AA has worked wonders. Perhaps you could work your way up to an actual meeting, slowly. Try an online meeting, you can listen to meetings in podcast/mp3 form to get used to them, then maybe call the AA office in your area and explain your situations. Hopefully someone will be able to come see you, and then when you're ready, they can accompany you to a meeting so you won't be alone?
Does that sound like a good step-up plan to going to a meeting? You don't have to say anything other than "pass" at a meeting if you don't want, in fact given your situation I would recommend that until your comfortable. You can also download or order AA literature online.
Regardless of what plan of attack you take, know that you're not alone, nor will you ever be the first person with an anxiety disorder who successfully achieved sobriety. We're always here as well, even if you just use SR to get started.
Welcome, and keep coming back.
C&B
I have no experience with anxiety (other than the plain old nervousness) but it sounds like that's going to be a tough one! For me (I can't say what's right for you) AA has worked wonders. Perhaps you could work your way up to an actual meeting, slowly. Try an online meeting, you can listen to meetings in podcast/mp3 form to get used to them, then maybe call the AA office in your area and explain your situations. Hopefully someone will be able to come see you, and then when you're ready, they can accompany you to a meeting so you won't be alone?
Does that sound like a good step-up plan to going to a meeting? You don't have to say anything other than "pass" at a meeting if you don't want, in fact given your situation I would recommend that until your comfortable. You can also download or order AA literature online.
Regardless of what plan of attack you take, know that you're not alone, nor will you ever be the first person with an anxiety disorder who successfully achieved sobriety. We're always here as well, even if you just use SR to get started.
Welcome, and keep coming back.
C&B
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 4
Thanks for the quick response.
I was actually hoping that there was some form of online support group. I think I've finally come to the right place.
It's going to be a slow process for me. There were many barriers that contributed to me being here and I have so much to deal with in order to recover.
Thank you for the respect. This feels like a pretty safe place to start, something that with my condition is hard to find.
Peace!
I was actually hoping that there was some form of online support group. I think I've finally come to the right place.
It's going to be a slow process for me. There were many barriers that contributed to me being here and I have so much to deal with in order to recover.
Thank you for the respect. This feels like a pretty safe place to start, something that with my condition is hard to find.
Peace!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 85
Here's some quick links I found, I'm sure you can search through iTunes as well..
12 Step Podcast
"Just For Today" the sober podcast - Home
Addiction Recovery Podcast
12 Step Podcast
"Just For Today" the sober podcast - Home
Addiction Recovery Podcast
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Welcome to SR!
This is a great place, full of people with a lot of ES&H (experience, strength & hope). Not all of us go to meetings (I don't) and you won't necessarily like everything you hear. For me, I pay close attention to something if it makes me defensive because it usually means it's hitting too close to home and is something I'm having trouble admitting to myself..again, that's just me.
However, I have yet to go through a single situation that my friends, here, haven't helped get me through, sober. That's the beauty of this place..people care, and there's usually always someone here, 24/7.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
This is a great place, full of people with a lot of ES&H (experience, strength & hope). Not all of us go to meetings (I don't) and you won't necessarily like everything you hear. For me, I pay close attention to something if it makes me defensive because it usually means it's hitting too close to home and is something I'm having trouble admitting to myself..again, that's just me.
However, I have yet to go through a single situation that my friends, here, haven't helped get me through, sober. That's the beauty of this place..people care, and there's usually always someone here, 24/7.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
hello and welcome! nice to meet you.i have recieved much support and information on this site and at first just used the chat room,but from that i have made many solid friends some of which i will be visiting in the states soon.have a look at the online AA stuff and maybe one day soon you will get to a meeting.remember everyone there has felt at some time just like you do now.i certainly did! sober recovery is an invaluable tool in my recovery,but AA saved my life.i wish you well you are in my prayers.keep us posted!
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 249
Hi Neil!! Welcome to SR and I hope you keep coming back and posting. I suffered from anxiety for years, on and off meds, so I understand your feelings. I found a good therapist to work with, and although it took some time she taught me some good techniques to start handling the anxiety. Is therapy an option for you? If not, there are some good resources on the internet for different types of techniques. I hope you keep coming back and posting and reading.
Again, WELCOME!! This place is really amazing....
~Jade
Again, WELCOME!! This place is really amazing....
~Jade
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