mspamy

hi there,
i know i have a problem with alcohol, i drink alone, usually at night whilst on my laptop looking for sites like this. my family tend to see my drunkeness, when they see it as 'funny', because i'm a 'silly drunk' , it amuses them when for instance i fall into our christmas tree and can't get out. i'm cognisant but physically unable to get ,myself out. i talk jibberish, which also amuses. my youngest son works in a pub and thinks i would be good company there. 'i would have a laugh'. on odd occassions my husband asks 'why do you do it to this extent? He drinks but limits his drinking. nobody i think understands really that i can't stop at a sensible limit, perhaps because i always 'seem' ok in the daytime, can do what i have to do etc. My younger son , the one who works in the pub wants me to take a night out at his pub. i don't think he realises how much of an embarressment i 'could' end up being, however 'funny, amusing' it might be. so i'm being suffused with comments that suggest 'i'm harmless, so what's the problem'? But surely getting drunk to oblivion every night cannot be a good thing, however amusing it looks. and yes i enjoy the booze buzz , the abilty to forget life's worries and problems. But they are still there the next day. i both love and hate my drinking. i worry at how i would cope with just 'stopping' completely as i've read so many scary things can happen, hallucinations, seizures etc. etc. i estimate 7 years of in my personal radar heavy drinking. is it possible to wean off slowly? i think i know the answer to this..for some maybe for others no!
Do you think i'd be ok if i suddenly stopped. Do you think i would need to be in attendance of AA meetings to help me through ? Should i go to a meeting now even though i haven't stopped drinking? Can you do this? or do you have to be stopped before you join? What can i expect on my first AA meeting? how does it all work? Could i go with a friend? i know it's time to do something, funny, amusing, in my drunken state is not where i want to be anymore. even if it is only at night time. You're comments will be very welcome, i've seen already you guys are very supportive to many people.
What is the First Step again? An admittance that we are powerless in our addiction? i can certainly admit to this, so what happens next?

Sugah

AA Meetings in Kettering

Yes, you can go to a meeting before you've stopped drinking entirely. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.

It doesn't matter if anyone else thinks that you have a problem. If you believe you have a problem, then you have a problem. AA can help.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

mspamy

Thank you so much Sugar for your post. this is fantastic as i am a stones thow away from this place and can surely attend the afternoon sessions when my carers are here. How do you know this info? it's amazing, but never mind. now i have 'no excuses' it's definetly a Wedsnesday for me. How do you know these times and places as i see your in Pittsburgh? that is brilliant, i have rang the AA number here, but got a message service that didn't respond to my request. i am literally balled over, this 'higher power' must be playing an ace card here. Thank you soooo much. Shall i just turn up at a meeting or do i need to make an appointment?

Believe808

No appointments are necessary, only a desire to stop drinking. Good Luck

jamdls

As you know only you can answer most of your questions. I was a silly drunk for many years too many. No one ever said I had a problem. I turned into a total embarassment to my daughter over the years but even she never said anything about it. I was "just a wino", went to work most days, owned my own home, appeared to be successful but on my off time I sunk lower and lower till I finally tried to end it all. Once I got sober I realized what an absolute idiot I'd been.
I have never heard of any heavy drinker who can 'wean off slowly' I doubt that it's possible.
Withdrawal will depend on the extent of your drinking. I didn't have any withdrawal symptons. I got depressed but eventually got over that. Anyone who truly wants to quit drinking is welcome at an AA meeting and it helps lots of people.

Hevyn

Hi mspamy. My family was disgusted with my drinking, I can't imagine how hard it would be if they had found it funny. Even if you are - for now - able to do what you need to every day, this won't always be the case if you continue on this way. I'm sure you know that, and you've probably heard "alcoholism is a progressive disease". I was still having fun with it and enjoying myself in my 40's - by the time I hit my 50's my life was in shambles. Also, even if you never had a problem behavior-wise, think what this is doing to your body. We can only take so much physical punishment. I commend you for having the sense to seek a better life for yourself, even without the encouragement of your family.

Please keep posting - I know you can make it out of this and have a whole new life.

least

I would seek medical help in getting thru withdrawal, as it can be dangerous. And do give AA a good try. It's helped many alcoholics get and stay sober. Welcome!

serenityqueen

Quote:

Shall i just turn up at a meeting or do i need to make an appointment?

Quote:

Do you think i would need to be in attendance of AA meetings to help me through ? Should i go to a meeting now even though i haven't stopped drinking? Can you do this? or do you have to be stopped before you join? What can i expect on my first AA meeting? how does it all work? Could i go with a friend?

AA is there to help you, not get you all stressed, ok? Before I went to my first Meeting I had no idea what I was walking into either. Then once I got there, I had to laugh, I got all stressed out for no reason.

There is no appt necessary,as the alcoholic, you can go to any Meeting you wish, but if you choose to bring a friend, please do so only at what is referred to as an Open Meeting. I looked at the schedule that Sugah posted a link to and I don't see any breakdown as to what those four Meetings are. But if you click on the one link there, it has a nationwide number you can call and I'm sure they can help you even more.

For me, AA was absolutely necessary for me in order stay clean and sober. The Twelve Steps are designed to help us work through what made us start drinking to excess in the first place, forgiveness of self and others, building up tools of Recovery . . . Plus, there is no better place to go where the room is full of people who know what you are going through because they have been there. I found this to be so very comforting, knowing I wasn't alone and wasn't the only person out there who has a problem with alcohol.

I run across many people over the years who stay away from AA because they don't know what to expect and are afraid that they will have to talk. You don't have to speak one word if you don't want to, no explanations needed. No one will look at you funny nor will they think less of you. From my experiences, AA was a God send. I know that I would not still be clean and sober and coming up on 4 years in Recovery if it weren't for AA.

Keep it Simple, just focus on One Day at A Time, don't try to tell yourself that you're never going to drink again. This can be very overwhelming to many. Please know I am here for you if you need to talk or if I can possibly help answer any more questions for you, just send me a PM.

God Bless,
Judy

mspamy

Thanks everyone for your very helpful and insightful replies. it is the worry of the effect it has on my health what damage i can do. it is further down the road the worse i will get. i saw on the AA website that for many it is a downhill trip, however much we would like to be in that possibly very small group who can drink 'responsibly'. The meeting that i will attend is titles 'steps' i want to attend this meeting because it is at the best time for me and no excuse not to get there. i like the fact, (thankyou serenityqueen) that you brought to my attention that the meetings are not meant to stress me out! and yes the friend thing i can understand too. i've thought alot recently about what made me turn to drink, in the way that i have abused it. i have a few, some of which i've 'worked' on which is probably why i feel ready now to address my drinking. But i feel very anxious that it won't be easy. Alcohol is such a powerful drug. i smoke as well which is another drug to kick equally damaging to my health. But i choose alcohol first to attempt to kick.
Three people stand out for me in my life. two i worked with, one a recovered alcoholic, i never knew she was an alcoholic, now doing counselling, healing, one who last i saw shocked me by how she looked, the third was a very young woman who used to frequent a cafe i used to run...she died.young, through alcohol. One recovered, one struggling, one dead, the many faces of alcohol . i regard this as a message and a warning. The women are from 10 plus years ago, i haven't forgotten any of them.

shaun00

hi ...glad your here.

strange.......i whizzed past kettering tonight.

Some very good advice here for you.........and i dont have anything to add.

Just get some medical advice before you stop abruptly.

and to welcome you here.........please keep posting your progress.

And if i can do anything to help please feel free to pm me anytime...

My life has turned around since attending aa and working through the 12 steps with a sponsor..........if it can work for this old drunk it can work for you.

trucker

CarolD

I'm really glad you will be checking out AA.
It's an awesome adventure in living healthy and sober
I find AA and SR immensley helpful.

Anna

It sounds like you have a good plan.

I hope you talk to your dr before you stop drinking because it can be very dangerous to detox from alcohol. Cutting down on drinking rarely works for alcoholics. Gosh, I tried to do that so many times I couldn't count. I was determined to manage it. Of course, I never did. Stopping was actually a relief.

Keep reading and posting.

serenityqueen

I'm glad to see you came back! Why don't you make an appt to go see your doctor, let him/her know what's going on and get a check up. Hopefully you'll get a clean bill of health so you can let go of the fear of the alcohol having damaged your body. Then you can concentrate of your Recovery without any unnecessary worry. And as far as smoking, I think it's a good idea to only focus on one addiction at a time. I've heard of people trying to quit drinking and smoking at the same time and to be honest, I cannot even imagine that. But if some can do it, that's fantastic!

I hope you do get to a Meeting very soon so you'll see that it's not at all anything to worry about. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised!

Keep it Simple,
Judy

mspamy

Thanks Carol and Trucker, Trucker you managed to navigate Kettering? There's an old joke here that says 'those who dare to enter here, never leave,' such is our traffic system. i've been reading alot of the posts here and i am 'inspired' so many like myself truly stuck with the stopping at one drink. but made the effort to attend a meeting and life is beginning to change. Alcohol is a pretty ****** thing, if you fall on the wrong side of it. is it really possible for people for people to remain responsible drinkers? well, my hubby is one such person who amazes me because he has such self control. i don't. i worry when i start my 'steps' that having him drink beside me might cause me problems. but i know i do not have the right to tell him to stop on my accord. However, when he realises that i 'do' have a 'problem' he will drink apart from me. Maybe even forgo his intake to help me. Trouble is at the minute he doesn't believe 'truly' that i have a problem, i think.
Because he can handle it, i think he feels that i could but that i just choose not to. i am out of control my intake has rocketted , i have just quite easily sank a quarter bottle of rum in less than three hours. and i cannot think of any reason to do so other than get 'blotto' to help me sleep. i'm a mess, i realise this and ok i may not be drinking in the daytime or have any desire (yet) to do so but the cards seem to be on the table. i hate myself because i just cannot seem to stop taking that next drink until i reach oblivion. which seems to be taking more and more alcohol!

mspamy

thanks Anna and SerenityQueen, my doc has given me sleeping pills on my request to conquer this addiction, but truth be known i'm doing both some days. my doc i'm sure would help me but with the pills that make you sick if you drink, i'm not sure i want this. i will go to this aa meeting on wednesday and see what happens, i feel confident that these guys will know more about this than my GP. i feel quite ready to attend a meeting as i'm disgusted with myself drink so irresponsibly recently, it's like i'm on a death wish , get it over sooner than later, this cannot be a good sign.

mspamy

hi there,
i discovered in my mail box today that i had emailed AA UK early hours of today, to check on the times, meeting place etc. i have no memory of doing this which is quite scary. some part of me was still working. i wrote about this in my reply to Neomarxist, but i popped it here too in case you're following on this thread.

Seanachie

Hi MSPAMY, I suggest you See your Doctor, go to a meeting soon ( just to be polite don't arrive sloshed), LISTEN to what is said, and talk to people who have some clean time. You don't have to drink again if you don't want to. Be well and happy, a friend on the Eastern Shore of VA, USA