about a week in and....about sleep & dreams
Interesting, hands still not steady, when i was drinking i thought it was the coffee or nervous energy. because it was the first sign to arrive guess it will be the last to leave.
Last night i fell asleep fairly easily, slept about 6 1/2 hours. These are good things. The night before i got about 5 and i needed to take some night time
flu med to do it. Felt so damm groggy when i woke up, was in a fog for the
first 2-3 hours of the day. This morning, I awoke a lot less groggy, and the only fog is outside my windows, not in my head.
I'm drinking some coffee, going to ride my bicycle into work today, good day
for it, and it is good for me, no gas to buy, etc etc.
So a bit about dreams, I see a lot of people have issues with dreams.
As i recall when we sleep we have different stages of sleep, I had written a bunch about sleep, then i deleted it, I think everyone should go read up
on sleep. I just did. It refreshed me about it, also it helped me understand what was going on with my sleep. My first night "clean" did not sleep at all.
My 2nd night, could not sleep, i was coming up on 43 hours awake, this is the point when things start to get weird with a person detox or no detox. Around hour 44 i started to fall asleep, was in the half awake half asleep, I know i was not dreaming yet, but still had these weird things going on. After reading up on it I know now it was hypnagogic hallucinations.
I hope my time here is short. The only reason i feel a need to drink is to kill off the jitters i feel. I know in time they will go away, just takes time. That and time for my body to heal, time for it to reset. reading about uptake receptors and a like, a lot of things are now clear to me, i messed up my
brain chemistry this past winter.
Life is a school, everyday we learn, once in a while we need a refresher class, this is mine, i beat a cocaine addiction 25 years back, and when i beat that i back slid a once or twice, after the 2nd back slide i knew i could never do it again. I also had some drinking issues
about 20 years back, I fixed it then, perhaps i can fix it again. be able to go back to being a responsible drinking, I will test my self at some future date, when that date will be i do not know. I do know it is not this week, not next week or the week after, no it lies many weeks into the future.