Sobriety is turning BLAH...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 51
I just put my head down and started cleaning up the mess my drinking had left behind. There was plenty. It kept me very busy. And sometimes, while I was busy, or just finishing something up, the bliss would come back.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 396
I woke up feeling the same way today. I need to make some changes. Like not living like a hermit...especially now that I can drive myself home and not worry about how I'm going to get home. I'm thinking I should start by changing my routine somehow.
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
I think that it's important to make a distinction between sobriety and recovery.
A lot of addicts can achieve sobriety without much effort, although unfortunately many do struggle initially. In my experience, abstaining from drugs is the condition to begin recovery. I spent a year haphazardly abstaining from alcohol, celebrating milestones for months at a time; whenever the novelty wore off, though, I would relapse with a big plunk. My SR friends were extremely patient and encouraging, but it took me a while to realize for myself that recovery implies much more than simply not drinking.
Sobriety is like pressing a reset button. It gradually restores us back to our natural drug-free state. But that is not enough.
Recovery means changing. It also means freedom. Some people regard their former addiction a blessing in disguise because they are forced to re-examine their entire existance, and change accordingly. We find ourselves free to choose a new direction, maybe discovering new meaning in life, and making it count.
I think that boredom happens when things are static; if we decide to change, though, recovery can be as exciting as we want it to be
:ghug
A lot of addicts can achieve sobriety without much effort, although unfortunately many do struggle initially. In my experience, abstaining from drugs is the condition to begin recovery. I spent a year haphazardly abstaining from alcohol, celebrating milestones for months at a time; whenever the novelty wore off, though, I would relapse with a big plunk. My SR friends were extremely patient and encouraging, but it took me a while to realize for myself that recovery implies much more than simply not drinking.
Sobriety is like pressing a reset button. It gradually restores us back to our natural drug-free state. But that is not enough.
Recovery means changing. It also means freedom. Some people regard their former addiction a blessing in disguise because they are forced to re-examine their entire existance, and change accordingly. We find ourselves free to choose a new direction, maybe discovering new meaning in life, and making it count.
I think that boredom happens when things are static; if we decide to change, though, recovery can be as exciting as we want it to be
:ghug
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Just wanted to add something else.
The recovery thing and all the talk about spirtuality. For example i work in a high paid job that was great when i was getting drunk every night and rushing around all the time. Now i am sober it is ******* nightmare! Long and short this is something i am going to have to change but it's all i know. I could do the time before but i can't do the time now, i just can't do even a couple of years of this crap sober. I don't know how to change it yet but i will.
My point is, for me, that this is just a part of it. This is easy...take a lower paid job, work at something i love doing...if i make it big great if not then not time wasted and great! Same for everything else, it was so easy last year to waste days, to wish away weeks, to go on dumb ass trips here there and everywhere to drink and gamble...now it's different. I wonder if this is the blah you all mean? The prospect of doing the same crap we did when drinking, we all need to change bigtime to stay sober and that may mean big changes, ones we don't want to do or would not think about doing before! Otherwise, for me, a month, a year, a decade i'll be drinking again. This is not rocket science for me and is obvious, no?
Stopping drinking is nothing anymore, it's the life change that's going to take the big effort and the work! How could anyone ever understand this who is not an alcoholic?! It's nuts but it's great...one really grateful recovering alchie right here!
And yeah i am living in the day, i'm not going to go spastic and get out there again...
The recovery thing and all the talk about spirtuality. For example i work in a high paid job that was great when i was getting drunk every night and rushing around all the time. Now i am sober it is ******* nightmare! Long and short this is something i am going to have to change but it's all i know. I could do the time before but i can't do the time now, i just can't do even a couple of years of this crap sober. I don't know how to change it yet but i will.
My point is, for me, that this is just a part of it. This is easy...take a lower paid job, work at something i love doing...if i make it big great if not then not time wasted and great! Same for everything else, it was so easy last year to waste days, to wish away weeks, to go on dumb ass trips here there and everywhere to drink and gamble...now it's different. I wonder if this is the blah you all mean? The prospect of doing the same crap we did when drinking, we all need to change bigtime to stay sober and that may mean big changes, ones we don't want to do or would not think about doing before! Otherwise, for me, a month, a year, a decade i'll be drinking again. This is not rocket science for me and is obvious, no?
Stopping drinking is nothing anymore, it's the life change that's going to take the big effort and the work! How could anyone ever understand this who is not an alcoholic?! It's nuts but it's great...one really grateful recovering alchie right here!
And yeah i am living in the day, i'm not going to go spastic and get out there again...
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
To enjoy my new life....I use God and AA.
Not drinking was not r enough for me.
I sought and have found...joy..purpose...serenity
Recovery!
This can happen for anyone....
Not drinking was not r enough for me.
I sought and have found...joy..purpose...serenity
Recovery!
This can happen for anyone....
Last edited by CarolD; 03-11-2009 at 01:09 PM. Reason: Typo
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Pugetopolis
Posts: 2,384
The Still Suffering
We always talk about the still suffering alcoholic. The still suffering alcoholics aren't always the ones who are still drinking. I think sometimes we are still suffering because we can't be still.
I used to mistake excitement for happiness and activity for action. Couldn't sit still. Always had to be doing something and something always had to be going on. I couldn't stand my own company, I always had to have a TV going or a stereo blaring. The silence was too loud.
I do real good when I'm feeling good. I can handle feeling bad. But I have never liked those flat times when I just don't feel much at all. What I have learned is that I can't get too attached to how I feel.
We are conditioned to believe that if it feels good it must be good and we must be doing good. And if it feels bad it must be bad and we must not be doing too good. The result is a search for comfort. Most of my life has been a search for comfort that damn near killed me and hurt a lot of other people.
I've had to learn to just sit and be with the discomfort. Suffering comes from resistance. Suffering comes from avoiding discomfort. Suffering comes from trying to fix it. For an alcoholic, drinking is usually the end result.
Between drinks, the alcoholic is restless (unable to sit still and be at rest in the here and now), irritable, and discontented. It is always better somewhere else down the road. The present reality is never good enough. Alcohol, when it works, provides the ease and comfort. Sooner or later, the alcoholic succumbs to the desire (for ease and comfort) again starts drinking again.
So the answer is to get to a place of peace within, not dependant on external circumstances or feelings. I know a way to get there if you are interested.
Jim
I used to mistake excitement for happiness and activity for action. Couldn't sit still. Always had to be doing something and something always had to be going on. I couldn't stand my own company, I always had to have a TV going or a stereo blaring. The silence was too loud.
I do real good when I'm feeling good. I can handle feeling bad. But I have never liked those flat times when I just don't feel much at all. What I have learned is that I can't get too attached to how I feel.
We are conditioned to believe that if it feels good it must be good and we must be doing good. And if it feels bad it must be bad and we must not be doing too good. The result is a search for comfort. Most of my life has been a search for comfort that damn near killed me and hurt a lot of other people.
I've had to learn to just sit and be with the discomfort. Suffering comes from resistance. Suffering comes from avoiding discomfort. Suffering comes from trying to fix it. For an alcoholic, drinking is usually the end result.
Between drinks, the alcoholic is restless (unable to sit still and be at rest in the here and now), irritable, and discontented. It is always better somewhere else down the road. The present reality is never good enough. Alcohol, when it works, provides the ease and comfort. Sooner or later, the alcoholic succumbs to the desire (for ease and comfort) again starts drinking again.
So the answer is to get to a place of peace within, not dependant on external circumstances or feelings. I know a way to get there if you are interested.
Jim
6/20/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 4,467
Good thread, VC. And, 6 weeks is awesome! Please keep in mind that early sobriety can be tough in a lot of different ways. So, be gentle with yourself.
Just because I quit drinking doesn't mean I still don't get my share of blah days...but I'll take every one of them sober. It's a choice that just keeps getting easier.
Hope you are doing well, and congratulating yourself for doing so well.
Just because I quit drinking doesn't mean I still don't get my share of blah days...but I'll take every one of them sober. It's a choice that just keeps getting easier.
Hope you are doing well, and congratulating yourself for doing so well.
perpetual optimist
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Montana
Posts: 2,959
Originally Posted by mattcake79 
I think that it's important to make a distinction between sobriety and recovery.
A lot of addicts can achieve sobriety without much effort, although unfortunately many do struggle initially. In my experience, abstaining from drugs is the condition to begin recovery. I spent a year haphazardly abstaining from alcohol, celebrating milestones for months at a time; whenever the novelty wore off, though, I would relapse with a big plunk. My SR friends were extremely patient and encouraging, but it took me a while to realize for myself that recovery implies much more than simply not drinking.
Sobriety is like pressing a reset button. It gradually restores us back to our natural drug-free state. But that is not enough.
Recovery means changing. It also means freedom. Some people regard their former addiction a blessing in disguise because they are forced to re-examine their entire existance, and change accordingly. We find ourselves free to choose a new direction, maybe discovering new meaning in life, and making it count.
I think that boredom happens when things are static; if we decide to change, though, recovery can be as exciting as we want it to be
:ghug
A lot of addicts can achieve sobriety without much effort, although unfortunately many do struggle initially. In my experience, abstaining from drugs is the condition to begin recovery. I spent a year haphazardly abstaining from alcohol, celebrating milestones for months at a time; whenever the novelty wore off, though, I would relapse with a big plunk. My SR friends were extremely patient and encouraging, but it took me a while to realize for myself that recovery implies much more than simply not drinking.
Sobriety is like pressing a reset button. It gradually restores us back to our natural drug-free state. But that is not enough.
Recovery means changing. It also means freedom. Some people regard their former addiction a blessing in disguise because they are forced to re-examine their entire existance, and change accordingly. We find ourselves free to choose a new direction, maybe discovering new meaning in life, and making it count.
I think that boredom happens when things are static; if we decide to change, though, recovery can be as exciting as we want it to be
:ghug
Member
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: San Francisco, CA
Posts: 679
Originally Posted by jimhere
We always talk about the still suffering alcoholic. The still suffering alcoholics aren't always the ones who are still drinking. I think sometimes we are still suffering because we can't be still.
I used to mistake excitement for happiness and activity for action. Couldn't sit still. Always had to be doing something and something always had to be going on. I couldn't stand my own company, I always had to have a TV going or a stereo blaring. The silence was too loud.
I do real good when I'm feeling good. I can handle feeling bad. But I have never liked those flat times when I just don't feel much at all. What I have learned is that I can't get too attached to how I feel.
We are conditioned to believe that if it feels good it must be good and we must be doing good. And if it feels bad it must be bad and we must not be doing too good. The result is a search for comfort. Most of my life has been a search for comfort that damn near killed me and hurt a lot of other people.
I've had to learn to just sit and be with the discomfort. Suffering comes from resistance. Suffering comes from avoiding discomfort. Suffering comes from trying to fix it. For an alcoholic, drinking is usually the end result.
Between drinks, the alcoholic is restless (unable to sit still and be at rest in the here and now), irritable, and discontented. It is always better somewhere else down the road. The present reality is never good enough. Alcohol, when it works, provides the ease and comfort. Sooner or later, the alcoholic succumbs to the desire (for ease and comfort) again starts drinking again.
So the answer is to get to a place of peace within, not dependant on external circumstances or feelings. I know a way to get there if you are interested.
Jim
I used to mistake excitement for happiness and activity for action. Couldn't sit still. Always had to be doing something and something always had to be going on. I couldn't stand my own company, I always had to have a TV going or a stereo blaring. The silence was too loud.
I do real good when I'm feeling good. I can handle feeling bad. But I have never liked those flat times when I just don't feel much at all. What I have learned is that I can't get too attached to how I feel.
We are conditioned to believe that if it feels good it must be good and we must be doing good. And if it feels bad it must be bad and we must not be doing too good. The result is a search for comfort. Most of my life has been a search for comfort that damn near killed me and hurt a lot of other people.
I've had to learn to just sit and be with the discomfort. Suffering comes from resistance. Suffering comes from avoiding discomfort. Suffering comes from trying to fix it. For an alcoholic, drinking is usually the end result.
Between drinks, the alcoholic is restless (unable to sit still and be at rest in the here and now), irritable, and discontented. It is always better somewhere else down the road. The present reality is never good enough. Alcohol, when it works, provides the ease and comfort. Sooner or later, the alcoholic succumbs to the desire (for ease and comfort) again starts drinking again.
So the answer is to get to a place of peace within, not dependant on external circumstances or feelings. I know a way to get there if you are interested.
Jim
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 74
When someone becomes an addict or an alcoholic it takes up a huge portion of their daily life. When you kick a habit like that, you start to feel void because of the time, effort and energy previously spent on your addiction.
Now that your sober you have that void because of this. It's really not difficult to get rid of that feeling. Just sit down and write down a few ideas of things you might be interested in doing. Mix it up a bit.
Take some boxing lessons or guitar lessons. If you were a fan of art take an art class or start learning on your own. If your into cars start looking into local car shows to attend and study mechanics. If you have a dog or pets start walking them more often.....If it is something you think you may be interested in put a little more effort in pursuing it.
Everyday people get that void even if they never had an addiction. They just get stagnant. Theres plenty of ways to stay busy and happy without returning to drugs and or alcohol.
Now that your sober you have that void because of this. It's really not difficult to get rid of that feeling. Just sit down and write down a few ideas of things you might be interested in doing. Mix it up a bit.
Take some boxing lessons or guitar lessons. If you were a fan of art take an art class or start learning on your own. If your into cars start looking into local car shows to attend and study mechanics. If you have a dog or pets start walking them more often.....If it is something you think you may be interested in put a little more effort in pursuing it.
Everyday people get that void even if they never had an addiction. They just get stagnant. Theres plenty of ways to stay busy and happy without returning to drugs and or alcohol.
mergirl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Paradise
Posts: 4,161
I fill some of my free time researching codependency, alcoholism, addiction and being an adult child of alcoholics. When I first started reading up on all of it (especially the codie stuff) I was FLOORED. Apparently, I was not living my life in the healthiest way, who knew? Now I have to relearn new ways of dealing with all of my emotions, which ones it is ok to embrace, and which ones to avoid (I had a big attack of resentment 2 days ago over utter bs, but saw it for what it was this time). I HOPE I am unlocking a whole new happiness for myself, I think maybe I am on the right path. Good Luck
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