Dryspell

Even though the title says it all I do feel proud of going 6 days. Yes I'm back to day one but six sober nights was a big deal to me.

Last night I attended a get together with a few friends, they know I like to drink but dont know how bad the problem goes and they don't know I'm trying to stop. So of course since I'm known as the "alkey" of the group they had bought I small (1.5 liter) bottle of my favorite wine. I drank half a bottle two hours into it and was still ok but when we all left home I took the bottle....got home drank the half then got in my car and bought another bottle and drank it all. By this time I was totally ripped. So basically I drank 3 liters of wine last night.

Well as usual woke up feeling horrible and by the time I sobered up some it was almost time to go to work. I work afternoons nut I basically lost my day plus I felt terrible. I had some regrets of going back to "day 1" but honestly I think I can do this. I never thought I would go six nights in a row.

Thought I would vent a little,
Thanks for reading
:ghug3

ANGELINA243

Keep on keepin' on! Don't give up. Move forward in recovery. :atv

aardvark

Dryspell,

Judging by your avatar, you seem to like sports just like me, so I would just blow it off and start another sober streak. Your already off to a good start, keep it going and stay motivated.

Take care,

E.

Dryspell

thanks for the kind words and yes I like sports so I'm taking that sport attitude of dust yourself off and move forward. I started off good tonight cause im writing this at 2:16 am and I'm not drinking so basically day one (second attempt) is complete. I want to go at least 6 days (to match current streak) or more. The other thing I have to work on (if I choose) is to not binge when i drink. If I can keep it down to once a week but limit myself to 3 drinks then I think its not a problem. If anyone thinks it is please advise. But if i could find a balance then I would not be here (on this site). I cant usually drink 2 or 3 I have to get hammered.

Well enough said. Since i know I will wake up sober I plan on applying for another job tomorrow with a clear mind...wish me luck.

robc

Although drinking a lot is bad, I think not giving your liver some time off is even worse. Taking that six days off and continuing to do so will give your liver the break that it needs.

yeahgr8

Hi there

Well done on the 6 days and even more so on getting back up and starting again without a few days MIA! I would go to a counselor and get some help on this, if you are not willing to go to AA. I only say this as i wasted the last 7 years trying to control my drinking. It's the same advice i was given 7 years ago, i'd get some professional input now and go with an open heart and listen! Do yourself a big favour.

Hope you get to where you want to be a lot quicker than i did:-)

least

I too tried to control my drinking, but couldn't do it. The drinking controlled me instead. For me the only way to control it was to not drink at all. If you really want to stop drinking you may have to change your life style, at least for a while. Don't go to places where there will be drinking. Dont hang out with drinking friends. Until you get more sober time under your belt you may have to avoid people places and things that are triggers for you to drink.

As to your going back to day one, learn from this relapse and move forward again. You can do this!:ghug3

californiapoppy

Hi, Keep at it !!! I've never been able to drink moderately for any length of time, I tried at lot, I figured I was maybe not a "real alcoholic"(sometimes I still hope so) I know what I was told, what I read, I disregarded everything to try to drink moderately on my own. I couldn't do it, and I don't know anyone who considers themselves "alcoholic" who has...but I guess if he could he wouldn't be an alcoholic?... You do what you have to do, you learn by your own errors, our lives would probably be better if we could learn by the errors of others. Think about it, that's all I can say.

Fubarcdn

You follow the pattern of a binge drinker and although it is not impossible it is unlikely that you will be able to drink moderately. I follow the same pattern and have tried for years with the same result as you had last night.
What disturbs me most is that after drinking to excess that you choose to go out and drive to get more. This is more reckless than the actual drinking and this is how people end up dead or killing someone else.
If you want to try moderating go ahead but please promise to never drink and drive again.
Good luck.

Dryspell

Thank you all for writing replies,

Yes I consider that I'm a "binger" I drink to the point that even I throw in the towel. I never let it go to the point of falling to the ground but close.

I think as far as "controlling" the drinking I agree with most here who stated it will be nearly impossible to do, easier to just stop completely. I have always noticed in the past that if I have a "few" with a friend, say a six pack, 3 beers each, its a guarantee that on the way home I will stop and buy a 12 pack. I guess that I see and talk to people who drink one or two and call it a night, sometimes I wish I could do that.

Someone mentioned that I should change my patterns so I can "get away" from the people who get me to drink. I'm a self motivated drunk I drink (90%) alone and at home most of time. I do have several close friends that I drink with If I visit them at home but for the most part I drink at home after midnights (I work 3 to midnight) I usually stop and buy on the way home from work then drink to about 3 to 4 am. Sick isnt it?

As far as counseling as one person suggested I think I will hold out a bit and try this on my own. I have in the past stopped for short periods of time but always found excuses to start up again but i think this is the first time I have true long term goals to stop so hopefully this time its different. If I cant stop then the next step will be some form of counseling. I have a great deal to lose right now and I realize that.

Lastly I wanted to mention the drinking and driving and yes I think it could be reckless. I dont want to defend my irresponsible actions of getting on the road but I'm not an unreasonable drunk. I'm VERY good about knowing my limits especially when driving. Many times either at home or at a friends house I will simply say "dude I cant drive" I have stayed over friends home because I thought I was too wasted. Should I drink and drive of course not, do I deserve an a$$ chewing...probably so. Do I promise I will never drink and drive....no but I do promise I'm going to try my hardest to not drink therefore by default I would not be driving (while drunk).

Thanks to all for "listening"
:ghug