Hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 260
Hello
Hello, this is my first time to a forum like this so im not really sure how to start or what to do...... Its my twin sister who is the addict, has been drinking now for over 20 yrs. I need some-one to talk to. Please help. our family love her dearly, shes intelligent, witty, beautiful and caring.....then shes nasty, withdrawn and hates all of us. for the first time lastnight she was abusive to mum whos 75. Im getting really scared now. Is it ultimatum time? She wont accept any help or talk about it.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 8
Experience strength and hope
You're in the general right place it seems. When I was around 14 years old, I was then living with my biological family. One night I came home late. In the morning, my bio mother mentioned I had come into the house naked. They she said were watching a TV program they were interested in. She did say, "Everything okay?" While the earth imploded around me, I said, "Yes." Naked, really? I'll never know.
It's hard to know what has been said to your sister. It is possible you have tried every angle known to humankind. I just want to say I wish, just once, someone in my family of origin had said, "We think you have a drinking problem. We care about you." They went straight to the blaming indirect nastiness as if something had ever been rationally discussed between us. The blame and hate remains in that family system. We are mutually estranged. This truly is a family condition. Best to you and yours. Thank you for letting me share a little bit of my story-- that I truly wish was much shorter.
It's hard to know what has been said to your sister. It is possible you have tried every angle known to humankind. I just want to say I wish, just once, someone in my family of origin had said, "We think you have a drinking problem. We care about you." They went straight to the blaming indirect nastiness as if something had ever been rationally discussed between us. The blame and hate remains in that family system. We are mutually estranged. This truly is a family condition. Best to you and yours. Thank you for letting me share a little bit of my story-- that I truly wish was much shorter.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 260
thanx Mca00...i tell her i love her everyday and she is aware of the problem she has and the effect it is having on the rest of the family. Something is stopping her from getting the professional help she needs, god knows we have tried to set this up for her.We are a very close family and support each other completely. I think she is scared, its all shes known for such a long time now, stems back to an abusive relationship a long time ago. I wish i could take it all away and watch her live a happy life...she is killing herself. I dont know where esle to turn.
~miss nikky~
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: windsor gardens, south australia, australia
Posts: 1,984
suppoert her to a 12step meeting
attend support meetings yourself for families of addicts
nar anon/ al anon
wish you all the best
personally i found interventions just gave me more reason to hate deeper
the decision must be ones own not forced upon them
attend support meetings yourself for families of addicts
nar anon/ al anon
wish you all the best
personally i found interventions just gave me more reason to hate deeper
the decision must be ones own not forced upon them
Resident
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Toronto, Ontario
Posts: 4,150
You are in the right place but perhaps the section on Friends and Families of Alcoholics would be more of what you are looking for. In that section there are a lot of people that are trying to help a loved one. Feel free to post anywhere though as we are all here to help each other.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 8
The idea of an intervention may not be unreasonable. Sounds like you have done everything you can. Perhaps it's left up to her and to providence. She is lucky she has someone who cares so much about her. That, in itself, is hopeful.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 260
Thanx everyone...I managed to get her to agree to AA earlier in the yr, she managed about 3 meetings which was great, i was proud of her for giving it a go. Unfortunatly it didnt last. She couldnt speak up because of her shyness and i dare say her not willing to admit things. key workers came next and again the first few weeks were great. Good intentions at the start but somehow gets lost along the way. Im not gonna give up even if she has given up on herself.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Welcome to SR! 
Here's the link to our FFA forum, where you will find plenty of folks who understand what you are facing with your sister. It's nice to meet you.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Here's the link to our FFA forum, where you will find plenty of folks who understand what you are facing with your sister. It's nice to meet you.
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
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