ouchpotato

Here I am at 52 years old and still abusing substances. I had an alcoholic father, married a drug addicted woman and had two kids. It's no wonder they struggle with substance abuse. I've been divorced for several years and have my 18 year old daughter living with me. She lives with me because her Mother is to far over the edge with her drug use. I smoke crack anywhere from 3 to 6 days a week and drink about the same; although I've always managed to maintain employment and fool most I associate with. It's been an evolutionary process starting when I was 16 when I started smoking pot and drinking beer. I have tried to quit my substance abuse many times; some self-motivated other times because it was required by law. The required by law part was the result of two DUI convictions and two marijuana convictions. Sometimes I feel very strong, like now, but other times I get weak and the craving becomes overwhelming. I'd be lying if I said I didn’t get enjoyment from substances. I do, albeit temporary with a lot of false security. The enjoyment is out of balance with the damage done to my finances, my social life, my family, and my self esteem. So often in my life I have chosen wrongly. Well, that was then and this is now. I would love 2009 to be the year I get cleaned up and develop the self-respect I so much want. I want to be a more productive human being and a better father. I say that now but just a few weeks ago I remember thinking to myself that I will be alone smoking crack and drinking until the day I die. I wish I would feel strong all the time and would never crave mind altering substances. I know the cravings are lurking in my mind waiting to pounce. Sometimes I think it's a genetic/biological thing because I often cannot rationalize why I do the things I do. If you are reading this, thank you. If you have ideas, thoughts or practices on how to defeat the inner demons that create the craving, please help by letting me know. Thank you.

ANGELINA243

Have you ever been to a NA meeting?

tommyk

Keep coming back, others can do it, so yuo can too!

ouchpotato

I went religiously for about a two year period but continued to use off and on. I think they did help to some extent. At least I wouldn't go to the meetings stoned. I haven't been to one since I have moved to Chicago (about three years ago). It's time to change that. hanks.

mikel60

Hiya Ouch Potato,
I'm a 48 year-old drunk in Boston. I've been clean and sober for 12 years now, but had my run-ins with the crack pipe. Mostly, though, i was a drunk.

I hope you give sobriety a good shot. I had to go to meetings every day for a couple of years in order to stay clean, but it was/is well worth it. Keep strong, keep posting, and beliebve that you can beat this disease.

Mike

Aysha

Glad you are here..It is possible. As insane as that seems to even comprehend. It can be done.
I hope you give a real try.
That is my DOC too.
There are alot of supportive people here and alot who have great success in recovery from Crack and alcohol.
I KNOW you can.

least

My doc, and my downfall, was wine. Don't know about crack. The only things I can tell you for sure is that taking it one day at a time is the way to go. Tomorrow is too far away and yesterday is gone. Just don't drink or use FOR TODAY. The other advice I've found to be so true is that you won't quit drinking or using until you want to be clean and sober more than you want to drink or use.

Welcome to a great place for support!