Bamboozle

Okay, I'm in a pretty goofy mood, so this is a good time to post about a habitual problem.

It's been about 10 years since I graduated high school (I know, probably a lot of you still consider me a young 'un...). Every now and then I hear about a person I went to school with who is now doing great things. This makes me feel like a crusty turd. I know this is wholly my problem…but here’s my question:

How can I shift the focus from what others are doing vs. what I’m not doing to who gives a flying crapper what anyone else does because I’m going to worry about myself and what I’m doing to improve my life?

I tell myself all the time to forget about them and concentrate on me, but it doesn't change how I feel. I can't make that leap and trying to fool myself isn't working.

Anna

Oh Bam, I used to be just like that. I would torment myself over and over when I heard about someone I knew accomplishing something. In fact, for me, it became commonplace to do that. When I hit bottom, I knew that I was going to have to find my purpose in this life and, that would be the way for me to stop comparing myself to other people. I started to be quiet and to listen to myself, and to begin to connect with my soul. Once I figured out what my purpose in this journey of life was to be, I was able to completely let go of comparing myself to others. I believe, that we are all following our soul's path, and that if we stay on that path, then we find peace.

Latte

When I got into recovery I also worked on the woulda coulda shoulda's.

Today my goal is to be a good person but it took me awhile. A lot of my HS friends have sucessful careers and I can genuinely be happy for them now because I love the life I have. When I accepted myself the rest seemed to get easier. It just took awhile.

Dee74

I was pretty self absorbed as a drunk - not egoistic, but self absorbed in a negative way.

I find helping people, here and elsewhere, helps me to maintain a healthy perspective, gives me purpose, and gets me out of my own head.

that's my way - I hope you find yrs Bam

D

stone

It is hard not to do that Bam...I used to do it all the time, I wasn't good enough, had wasted my life, etc. I wasn't jealous of people having more of me..I just hated myself for not being as good as them.

In AA terms I had a psychic change, lol, I stopped comparing. I have come to terms with my past and my limitations and now I just try to be as happy as possible, day to day.

The person you might be jealous of today could get run over by a truck tomorrow.

(hopefully )

gypsytears

Change come from within Bam. I just try and focus on what I'm doing and let others worry about what they're doing. I'm happier that way too.

* There are a few people I wish might get run over by a bus too but unfortunately there aren't many buses around here .

Rusty Zipper

Bamb maybe time to move onto a new pond Bamb?

a grateful pond...

good wishes

rz

Aysha

I know exactly how you feel. I was looking at some of the people on my myspace list. Alot whom are people I went to school with and have no idea the life I chose to live.
I see them talking about their kids..houses..jobs..doing normal adult things.
I cant even get a decent job right now. I own nothing. I am like a huge teenager that still lives with their grams.
It makes me sad. Ashamed.
I dont know how to focus elsewhere. But your not alone.

Anna

Rusty is right about gratitude.

There have been times in recovery when I've been so negative that I had to have a Gratitude Journal and write in it daily. It was the only thing that got me through some testy times.

Dean62

Yup, going to have to start calling you baby bambam.
Like what? Seriously what is so great about what they are doing? Your sig says you are not your job. Do you really want to be doing what they are doing?

Bamboozle

You’re right…but it’s awfully foggy around here and I can’t see where I’m going.




LOL. Thanks. I suppose what I mean is that I view them as being successful people, whereas I view myself as being a failure.




Thanks, chiy.

I live at home with my mom and dad. I am lucky that they love me and agreed to take me back in, even though they don't have any legal obligations to take care of me. It does make me feel like a kid, though.

I can't make it on my own right now. I keep trying to tell myself that this time is to be spent acquiring the resources and skills I need to live on my own again. Hopefully I can pull myself up enough to do this soon.

least

I still find myself envious of others' success/wealth/happiness. I'm working on loving myself and my life without comparing it to others. But it's hard to do sometimes when every day is a struggle to survive. But I'm working on it!

You work on it too. Look for some quality in yourself that you value and love about yourself. Find the good and praise it!

lots of love for you!:ghug3

Bamboozle

One thing I love about myself is that I have the ability to laugh and laugh a lot. Joking around isn't a cure-all, but it helps. I try to find something to laugh about everyday.

NewDayNow

Bam

You ask great questions. The kind of questions that get great answers.

I always look forward to your posts

Ed

Aysha

I have been thinking about this thread a little lately. And I have come to the conclusion...





I may not have all what others have going on. But I think I am very happy with who I am.

CarolD

I've noticed that there is always someone
prettier...richer..smarter...better known than I am

I've noticed there is always someone
plainer...poorer...dumber....more invisible than I am.

It's satisfying to me to be a person who is
enjoying today....exactly as I am supose to be.

I'm special. So are you...so is everyone...

Why not consider yourself special?
Small changes make me feel positive.

....Now...about that "stinky" sig line....