Shanticlare

Hi, This is my very first attempt at getting help for my drinking problem. I'm 56 years old, left my career as a health care professional a few years ago to marry a man who turned out to be a drinking buddy. He is also a wine buyer and brings wonderful wines and ales home every night. I've asked him not to but when he doesn't we don't seem to know how to be or what to do.

I can go 4 or 5 days (especially when he's out of town) without it comfortably but then go back to it. I've tried many things to fill the void but fact is, I like my wine but I hate the hangovers, interupted sleep, inability to lose weight and how it is keeping me from achieving things I would like to due to the lethargy I feel lately. I have some depression going on and will not/cannot take antidepressants. The wine makes me feel good at least for a few hours a day. How can I break out of this nasty cycle downwards I'm in? I've tried the therapy route but it's not an option right now.

Thanks in advance for your insights.

justforme

I would suggest trying an AA meeting. I went to my first one 18 days ago and I haven't touched a drink since. It's hard work but I would really recommend looking one up in your area. I've also found women's meetings to be the most helpful.

Welcome to the boards - I hope you keep coming back.

Dee74

Welcome Shanticlare

I can only share with you my story...I used to self medicate with alcohol too - initially for emotional pain, then physical pain, then boredom, then anger...ended up where I didn't need an excuse - I drank all day every day...and continued to - for years after the 'feeling good' bit alcohol used to bring me had gone...

You may not end up like I did - I hope nobody does - but the fact is self medicating with something so randomly effective and addictive as alcohol is simply not a good idea.

Whatever your 'void' is - and only you can determine that - I really encourage you, and yr partner, to start finding other ways to fill it

D

IO Storm

Great advice from just for me and Dee.

The important thing is..to do something different than what you hav been

doing as Dee suggested.

I am an AA'er.

But there are a lot of alternatives for you...no need to keep suffering.

Suffering is not a requirement.

There is a lot information here on SR...

Please check it out..

Welcome to SR, and blessings to you!

Jersey Nonny

I was a Winette, too...among other things...but, wine was my favorite.

From what you say, it's obvious you have more reasons not to drink. I filled the "void" with AA meetings, a second job, and college courses. I truly didn't have time to drink...well, I guess I could have made time; but, I got to liking being sober so much, eventually the desire to drink left me.

You realize, of course, that alcohol is a depressant? So, if you're already depressed, you're compounding the problem. You say you've tried therapy, which isn't an option right now. I found AA meetings to be very therapeutic, and they're free...except for a small donation in the basket, if you choose, because AA is self-supporting.

Please continue to use Sober Recovery as a source of support, and let us know how you're doing.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

It sounds like you're not sure whether or not you want to stop drinking. If you do, you can find lots of support here, but it definitely takes motivation. We do understand how difficult it is.

For me, the depression came first, then the alcohol. I had to get my depression diagnosed and treated before I could stop drinking. I do take anti-depressants and thank god that they work for me because I will never go back to that place again. Alcohol is a depressant, so it could be that you will improve if you stop drinking.

CarolD

Welcome...

Depression is why I decided to quit drinking
and I use God and AA to stay sober and contented.

Please read this link...it's from the book
that convinced me to quit..

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

BTW...I was 52 and the past 20 years
have been soooo very rewarding.

Blessings to you and your husband