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My Sobriety

Old 10-24-2008, 06:39 AM
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My Sobriety

has become a bad joke.
I haven't been on for a few days, and I think I won't be back after this for a while, it's just not working.

I feel confused, disgusted, sick, ashamed, and like a HUGE failure - which is exactly what I am. The way I feel right now is like I'm never gonna beat this and I just don't know what to do anymore, but I can't keep doing the same things over and over thinking it will somehow be different. I give up.
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Old 10-24-2008, 06:40 AM
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Hi Jen,

I understand how you feel.

Try to not think about tomorrow.

Make today different. Stay sober today. You can do it!
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Old 10-24-2008, 06:41 AM
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The good news is what you feel is perfectly normal. Hold on tight to those feelings because they will help you to quit your addiction. I don't know if you like rock music but youtube the band SIXX AM and listen to accidents will happen. For me, please do that.
I hope you come back. This is not a joke. This is some seriously tough S**T to do man.
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Old 10-24-2008, 06:47 AM
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Don't give up Jen. There is a way, you just haven't found it yet. I don't know what that way will be for you, but please keep trying and searching until you find it. I haven't been around SR a lot for a few months because of work, so I don't know all of what you have tried so far, but I urge you to keep coming here, keep searching, keep TRYING.
NO ONE is excluded from the ability to heal, somehow.

Take care, Jomey
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Old 10-24-2008, 06:47 AM
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We Do Recover
 
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Recovery begins with surrender. You are not a failure...don't give up on yourself. Allow others to help you get through this. You are not alone. We do recover.
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Old 10-24-2008, 07:51 AM
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can't keep doing the same things over and over thinking it will somehow be different.
Guess what?

If you keep doing the SAME thing over and over again it will always result in the same thing!

If you hit your thumb with a hammer 10 times, it will hurt 10 times!!!!

Why not try something new?

I know I kept trying to stop drinking the same way for 10 years and always wound up getting drunk again. It took me 10 years before I was able to admit to myself "I do not know how to get and stay sober!"

You know what I did?

I found a group of SOBER alcoholics who not only got sober, but have stayed SOBER!!!
I asked these people to help me, they told me that if I wanted to STAY sober I needed to do what they did to STAY sober.

I made a tremendous dicovery, if I want what some one else has...... do what they do!

I achieved vicory over my alcoholism by surrendering to the fact that I did not know how to stay sober, I had to try a different way that worked for millions of other alcoholics, and stop trying to do the same thing over and over again.
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Old 10-24-2008, 08:23 AM
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HI Jen,

I completely understand how you feel. After getting around 80 days AF I went back out for a couple weeks. It was rough and now I am on day 4 again. Just wanted to say, me too. I know how to quit but staying quit? I feel pretty clueless as to how to do that right now.
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Old 10-24-2008, 11:14 AM
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Hey Stubborn, I love that song....the lyrics are posted below.

Don't give up, it takes a while
I have seen this look before
And it's alright
You're not alone
If you don't love this anymore
I hear that you've slipped again
I'm here 'cause I know you'll need a friend

And you know that accidents can happen
And it's okay,
We all fall off the wagon sometimes
It's not your whole life
It's only one day
You haven't thrown everything away.

Take some time and learn to breathe
And remember what it means
To feel alive
And to believe
Something more than what you see
I know there's a price for this
But some things in life you must resist

And you know that accidents can happen
And it's okay,
We all fall off the wagon sometimes
It's not your whole life
It's only one day
You haven't thrown everything away.

I hear that you've slipped again
I'm here 'cause I know you'll need a friend

And you know that accidents can happen
And it's okay,
We all fall off the wagon sometimes
It's not your whole life
It's only one day
You haven't thrown everything away.

You know that accidents can happen
And it's okay,
We all fall off the wagon sometimes
It's not your whole life
It's only one day
You haven't thrown everything away.

So don't give up
It takes a while.

Jen, Please don't give up. Just keep trying. The alternatives are much worse...I am right here with you struggling myself. If you want to talk I will give you my phone number. Please hang in there. "We all fall off the wagon sometimes, it's not your whole life, it's only one day, you haven't thrown everything away" Hang in there friend.
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Old 10-24-2008, 11:24 AM
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OMG everything's real
 
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Jpat, I felt exactly like you described for the last three days coz I relapsed on codeine. But today is a new Day 1 for me and I really didn't expect to be back on the horse so soon. So don't give up on yourself. We all seem to fail at this a lot of times before we get it right.
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Old 10-24-2008, 11:32 AM
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Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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Jen...Kathleen

I was in AA 4 years before I actually quit drinking.
:brick:
You deserve all the best in life that recovery offers.

Forward we go..side by side...
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Old 10-24-2008, 11:57 AM
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my sponsor always tells me nothing changes if nothing changes. i'm a retread of the program also. I've been coming in and out for 7 years, I'm only 25. i kept going out because i REFUSED to change. i dont know if you're a member of AA or not but I know that for me, if i try to fight this addiction I will lose every time. It's too powerful for me, i need help from a higher power and from other people who have walked this path. So many times i thought i was done, i just couldnt go on any longer. This time is different. I have a sponsor, I'm working the steps, I'm in service. And not all days are good days, but I know i dont have to walk through this alone....and neither do you.

if nobody told you they love you today, I love you.
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Old 10-24-2008, 12:07 PM
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Originally Posted by JPat View Post
I feel confused, disgusted, sick, ashamed, and like a HUGE failure - which is exactly what I am. The way I feel right now is like I'm never gonna beat this and I just don't know what to do anymore, but I can't keep doing the same things over and over thinking it will somehow be different. I give up.
I've never believed that anyone in recovery is a failure, unless you make the choice to not come back. Recovery is a process, sometimes a long one, but with determination, perseverance, and a lot of hard work you will beat it, the rewards will come.

Nope, if we're doing the same thing over and over and it's not working, it's time to try something different until you find what works for you. I've been looking for almost 4 years for the things that work for me, I discover new methods every day.

I'm glad you're here, and I hope you decide to stay.
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Old 10-24-2008, 01:01 PM
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What ever you do keep coming back!! Most of us didn't get this recovery thing right the first time around, I know I didn't. Addiction is the MOST POWERFUL DISEASE out there. It has cost countless people their lives, loved ones, jobs, children, personal possessions, freedom, etc... The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over and over expecting different results.. The thing is it only gets WORSE!!!! Take the advise from countless others who have been there. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." Love to all..:ghug2
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Old 10-24-2008, 05:26 PM
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everything is already ok
 
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recovery starts with the desire to stop .....

Keep on
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Old 10-24-2008, 05:32 PM
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Im sorry to hear that Jen, as you know I struggle too. I dont really know what to say other than you deserve to be happy and I hope you find it.
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Old 10-25-2008, 01:04 PM
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Hey Jen,

Where are you? Please check in.
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Old 10-25-2008, 06:51 PM
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Jen, you can stay sober. Just don't drink for today. Don't worry about tomorrow til it gets here - then it's today. Just take it one day at a time. You can do this! If I can stay sober, anyone can.

:ghug3
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