Eclipse

I am a really stressed out about my oldest daughters grades in school. She is a junior in HS and has so much potential, but is not motivated at all in school. She has 2 "A"s, 2 "C"s and 2 "F"s right now and only a month into school. She is very social and has a great time, but just doesn't care about her grades. She has great potential for an athletic scholarship in college, but it will never happen with her current grades. I just don't get it. The more we hound her the worse things become.

Her dad and her walk into the house after he's picked her up from practice just screaming at each other. She has no respect for him. If she talked to me like she talks to him I would smack her! I think he hounds her to the point of her just doing the opposite to make him mad. He is very anal and there is right and wrong, no grey area for him. I haven't told him what her grades are like yet, cuz I can't bear the chaos it creates in our home. I think that was a big trigger in the past for me to drink, just to calm myself. I know I won't do it now, but it was a big factor in the past.

I know this might sound trivial in light of all the other crap going on in our world right now, but what is a parent to do? I know in the big picture, high school is nothing, and I know she will figure it out eventually, but do I just let her fail and have regrets in the future? Or do we just keep on her?

Parenting is the hardest thing I have ever done!

Anna

Hi,

I know that being a parent is the hardest job in the world.

But, I don't think you can make your daughter care more about her school grades. I guess she's about 16? She will have one more year of high school after this one and then need to move on. Hopefully she will recognize that she doesn't have an endless amount time to figure out what to do. You can encourage her, but I think that's about all you can do.

dancinggirl

I'm Canadian, so not really sure how it works for you guys...but aren't the grades for getting into university based on SAT scores only? In Canada, in my province, it's based on the last year of highschool's grades...the rest just don't matter. I got pretty crapola grades until my last year of highschool, then focused on grades and got into university no problem, as did most of my friends.

Could your daughter maybe not be interested in sports anymore? My parents told me that if my grades didn't go up, I would be taken out of my special activity.

SlvrMag

I have a 13 yr old daughter in 8th grade. She has 3 'F's and has already been suspended for fighting...a month into school. I have tried hounding her, I have tried leaving her alone, and everything in between. Nothing seems to work. Sorry I don't have any advice for you, if you find the answer PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!

Eclipse

I really made my husband out to be the bad guy...which he isn't, but the hounding isn't working, I think that is the only way he knows to handle it. I do hound too..which SlvrMag, is not helping. Leaving her alone also does not help, cuz the grades just get worse. I will take her phone away, which is a big incentive, but then she is just so p*ssed off at us all the time, that is also miserable, and grounding and I also told her she can't get her driver's license (she is in drivers training now) unless she has a "B" average cuz insurance is so expensive without a good student discount. The frustrating part is that she is so capable. She has had summer school the last two summers to retake classes and came out with "A"s.

I know the SATs are big for getting into college Dancinggirl, but so are GPAs. Lots of state schools require over a 3.0 to get into. So lots of kids end up going to community colleges to get grades up and then go to the universities, which may be what she ends up doing. I just don't want her to regret not swimming in college, which she tells me she REALLY wants to do.

I am seeing my therapist today, and want to discuss with her how to motivate my daughter. I will share that with you SlvrMag tomorrow!

SlvrMag

I look forward to it!!