So theres this chick at work
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 983
Now that you've said yes she's seeing how far she can take it. Once, even if it's just on prinicple, say no. Say, "sorry I can't help you out today, if you're really that hard up for food, you should check out the food bank or stamps etc."
Help them with one hand, teach them to help themselves with the other, so to speak.
It can be hard to tell sometimes if they are really just in hard times, or just a plain mooch.
Help them with one hand, teach them to help themselves with the other, so to speak.
It can be hard to tell sometimes if they are really just in hard times, or just a plain mooch.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
I can almost guarantee that she's going to have some pain issue come up very soon and be hinting very loudly that she wishes she had something for pain and for some reason or another, she couldn't afford to see her Dr. or he/she was out of town. (that was my scam)
I'd keep a close eye on that purse and only take one or two pills with you, however many you may need while at work.
I'd keep a close eye on that purse and only take one or two pills with you, however many you may need while at work.
Exactly.
Guard your money, your medication, and your cigs!
She can go the food pantry like you do, yes? And her saying her brother ate
her dinner reminds me of "my little brother ate my homework".
Sorry..but it really does. I give to the guys and gals on the streets
and get a lot of flack for it..but this gal works, hasn't thanked you, is
bumming cigs, asking you about things in your purse
At this point..I am concerned about you!
You've done a good deed already..
Good luck hun.
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 347
I used to pull very similar scams all the time when I was using, food, clothes, cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, any and all of the above. Some of my sob stories were even true.
Obviously it's not her pride keeping her from the food bank- or she wouldn't be laying all her problems on you. Maybe suggest she look into WIC or something, food bank, food stamps etc.
Obviously it's not her pride keeping her from the food bank- or she wouldn't be laying all her problems on you. Maybe suggest she look into WIC or something, food bank, food stamps etc.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Mobile AL
Posts: 101
Red flag....
My oh my where kindness can get us....
I know where you're coming from, because I was brought up to be this way too....More often than not I'm laying down the rug and making sure its nice and clean and in just the right spot so that you can walk all over me.
Chi, I have read a couple of responses, and can say that I can't agree more. This person works with you....where is her money going? And the interest in your prescription is even more alarming.
I would say to continue to be your cordial self, but don't let this person get too close. You work hard to earn money for you....and I know that you can't afford to feed all of NY even though you'd like to!
Hugs!
K
I know where you're coming from, because I was brought up to be this way too....More often than not I'm laying down the rug and making sure its nice and clean and in just the right spot so that you can walk all over me.
Chi, I have read a couple of responses, and can say that I can't agree more. This person works with you....where is her money going? And the interest in your prescription is even more alarming.
I would say to continue to be your cordial self, but don't let this person get too close. You work hard to earn money for you....and I know that you can't afford to feed all of NY even though you'd like to!
Hugs!
K
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Thanks guys. I think she quit today. She was saying how she couldnt get a ride. I didnt see her. So maybe I am in the clear without me having to feel like I am brushing her off.
I remember times when I was stranded in Florida and we had nothing except some milk and an onion. I fried that onion up in the frying pan and drank that milk one day. It wasnt a steeak..But it did the trick.
I know all these moves. But I also know what I will and have done to survive with what I had.
The last time I was out in the street I didnt want to come home where there was plenty food. SO I was hungry and yes took my a$$ to the mission and got nasty PB & J and the soup kitchen for a couple days. I didnt have to. I chose to. SO I know if someone is really in need they will do what they gotta do to get what hthey need.
I just feel bad when it comes to things like people being hungry.
But like you all said. I think she is either lazy or full of $hit.
Hopefully now I wont have to worry about it.
Thanks again.
I remember times when I was stranded in Florida and we had nothing except some milk and an onion. I fried that onion up in the frying pan and drank that milk one day. It wasnt a steeak..But it did the trick.
I know all these moves. But I also know what I will and have done to survive with what I had.
The last time I was out in the street I didnt want to come home where there was plenty food. SO I was hungry and yes took my a$$ to the mission and got nasty PB & J and the soup kitchen for a couple days. I didnt have to. I chose to. SO I know if someone is really in need they will do what they gotta do to get what hthey need.
I just feel bad when it comes to things like people being hungry.
But like you all said. I think she is either lazy or full of $hit.
Hopefully now I wont have to worry about it.
Thanks again.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.
~ Chinese Proverb
~ Chinese Proverb
Red flags and gut feelings Chiy... start listening to them and trusting yourself. You helped... she has to learn to help herself. IMO.
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
(((Trish))), you have a wonderful heart. We need to keep that heart but learn to look after ourselves.
Addicts and alkies on the street starving are also people, but I don't ned to fix them.
Kevin
Addicts and alkies on the street starving are also people, but I don't ned to fix them.
Kevin
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
Chi......you're a better person than I am.....after the first time; when this person mentioned the peanutbutter, jelly, and wheat bread, that woulda been the end; I woulda said, "So sorry, I guess you'll just have to eat PB&J.....or starve....."
Your story reminded me of something that happened to me many 24's ago. In my early recovery, my sponsor would send folks my way that needed financial budgeting help, as I was poor, unemployed, no apt at the time, and I had been learning lots of things and how to get by with very little.....One of the persons she sent my way had no place to live, so I started listing places where she could get temporary housing, including places like the Salvation Army and a couple of Women's shelters. Well her response to me was (with her nose in the air, looking down at me, sneering), "Well!!!!! I would NEVER live in one of THOSE places." To whit I replied, "Well, I guess I can't help you and you will have to sleep in the streets ...... again."
Like many others here have said....(and you know this, too), alcoholics/addicts will use, abuse, manipulate.....etc. for as long as it works...NOW, you can show her that it's NOT working any more with you..... (o:
NoelleR
Your story reminded me of something that happened to me many 24's ago. In my early recovery, my sponsor would send folks my way that needed financial budgeting help, as I was poor, unemployed, no apt at the time, and I had been learning lots of things and how to get by with very little.....One of the persons she sent my way had no place to live, so I started listing places where she could get temporary housing, including places like the Salvation Army and a couple of Women's shelters. Well her response to me was (with her nose in the air, looking down at me, sneering), "Well!!!!! I would NEVER live in one of THOSE places." To whit I replied, "Well, I guess I can't help you and you will have to sleep in the streets ...... again."
Like many others here have said....(and you know this, too), alcoholics/addicts will use, abuse, manipulate.....etc. for as long as it works...NOW, you can show her that it's NOT working any more with you..... (o:
NoelleR
FreeSpirit
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Inside My Spirit
Posts: 1,274
Chy: Girl with all do respect wake up Hon,she is Manipulating the show,
there is Red Flags every were, she red your cards, Hon that's all
she knows what strings to pull, that's what you call a Dope feen move
here in the B.X.
and may God forgive me who knows,maybe she did need you to provide her with lunch
but once is enough,you shy have to set Boundaries,cause all you will be
doing is enabling her,to not take care of her Responsibilities of life
and don't feel Bab if she Didn't even thank you that right there God sees it
and he will reward you that just shows you the type of person she is:codiepolice
there is Red Flags every were, she red your cards, Hon that's all
she knows what strings to pull, that's what you call a Dope feen move
here in the B.X.
and may God forgive me who knows,maybe she did need you to provide her with lunch
but once is enough,you shy have to set Boundaries,cause all you will be
doing is enabling her,to not take care of her Responsibilities of life
and don't feel Bab if she Didn't even thank you that right there God sees it
and he will reward you that just shows you the type of person she is:codiepolice
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,381
That was sooo nice of you to spend the last of your money on her.
Yes I feel like I'm being played right now. BF grandson moved in here from jail. Cannot stay with mother or father right now. Mother has been looking for a knew place so he can go home. Thought this would be a few weeks but has turned into 3 months. I am about ready to snap. She has excuses everyday. One apartment just fell through after two months of waiting.
It has been one lie after another. Told her we were going to talk to the manager. And we get another excuse. We love this boy but I think his mother just wants to get high and not take care of him. Seems like this is never going to end. Just had to vent. Sorry
Yes I feel like I'm being played right now. BF grandson moved in here from jail. Cannot stay with mother or father right now. Mother has been looking for a knew place so he can go home. Thought this would be a few weeks but has turned into 3 months. I am about ready to snap. She has excuses everyday. One apartment just fell through after two months of waiting.
It has been one lie after another. Told her we were going to talk to the manager. And we get another excuse. We love this boy but I think his mother just wants to get high and not take care of him. Seems like this is never going to end. Just had to vent. Sorry
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