KERRYZZME

The day has come that my 15 yr old daughter confessed to me that she has tried beer and..... ACID a couple of times! WOW! I was/am speechless, but very understanding and supporting of what she was saying and her outlook on it, just listening to her. She has been raised in the program so she really knows where that road can lead......(She has seen her mother go there)not a nice place.
Being an addict/alcoholic and knowing where it can take a person makes me very sad right now.
But.....I do not want to smother her now and have her start to do things out of spite, cuz she normally has had very good judgement in the past as she has come across negative life experiences.

But drugs and alcohol has taken me to places that I would not wish on my worst enemy, I am so scared and sad. I really have to turn this one over to my HP, but this is a real hard one for me. I just wish I could do ...-- I don't know what to do or not to do. I do know I am not going to drink or use over it.
I quess I am just very scared for her.
I am so so powerless right now and I hate it.

Darn. This is a tough one for me. Any advice?

sugErspun

Why do you suppose she told you?

bostonluv

I don't have advice but I'm glad she felt she could tell you. Now you can watch for any problems. Also, doing drugs at 15 is not ok IMO. I'm glad I waited until I was out of my parent's house to do those things. Ahhh...it's a different world now.

Elamentri

Well in all honesty its pretty big of her to tell you, casting my mind back to the tender age of 15 I could not imagine myself telling my parents about my drug use! I think she is very brave. Maybe she told you to gather a few clues from your reaction, to see what your thoughts where. I would occasionally bring it up in conversation with her to see how she responds, I mean, worse case scenario if she gets into acid and feels that it is beginning to rule her and impact on her judgment it can be very very hard to ask for help. If you are there to initiate some kind of help, even through simple everyday conversation, it may be the best thing to happen to her right now. Kinda like throwing a life line, you can not grab it if it is not there, good luck.

Change4life

My first thought was if she told you she pobably doesnt want to continue down that road. Alarming news, but Im thinking... If she was able to be open enough to tell you that, your lines of communication are open enough for you to be able to sit down, talk, and reinforce how bad life can become if your living on drugs.

I really hope things work out for the 2 of you!

Spiritual Seeker

My 1st thought is "Do whatever you have to do to get between your daughter and drugs"

KERRYZZME

I am not sure why other than we have very good communication, but I also think it was bothering her that I did not know about it... kinda like she was holding back something she felt I need to know.

scoob

My only advice is to keep those lines of communication open and thank her for telling you.

Anna

Keep talking to her. She is reaching out for help.

Horselover

I would say you are the best teacher on this subject and don't be afraid to let her know what its done to you and how hard you have to fight it now that it was allowed in to your life. It is my fear with my son too. I secretly dread the teenage years because I know what they did to me and how I handled those years. We fear it, but we can let them know information some would not be privy to.

I used to think I couldn't talk about not smoking because I smoked for over 20 years, but then I thought I can tell him what it did to me and how I had to quit soccer because I couldn't breath while I was running. How hard it was to quit and he already knows what it can do a person ultimately because his grandpa has lung cancer.

Sad, but if my Mom hadn't said to me "Sarah, don't try drugs because you could get addicted the very first time." I probably would have tried those too. Never considered alcohol a drug though, which is odd. The conversations you have with your daughter will be remembered and hopefully, taken to heart.

:ghug3

vegibean

One thing I'm grateful for is that should my kids start experimenting and/or things get bad for them, I hopefully can be there for them. I'm glad she shared with you.

Toomutch

The fact that she shared this with you means that you have an open line of communication. She feels comfortable with you and is looking to you for advice and wisdom. Prayers for both of you.

parentrecovers

one thing i regret not doing with my daughter at that age was making sure she had the facts about the physical problems caused by drug and alcohol use. i'm sure there are probaly websites that give advice on how to share and document the facts in a way that young people can relate to? don't know them off hand though...

i also regret not talking to her about how her odds were higher for addiction, because of the history of the disease on her dad's side of the family.

keep the communication open. and remember - you're the adult and get to set the rules in your home.

hugs, k

Jersey Nonny

The beer wouldn't concern me as much as the acid, since I had absolutely no experience with it. But, there are several things to consider here.

1. She "has tried", which indicates it may simply have been normal teen-aged behavior or peer pressure.

2. She was open with you. I could never have been with my own mother.

3. She "was raised" in program, so she has more knowledge than the average kid.

Even considering all of the above, it doesn't necessarily mean she won't experiment, as most her age do. I had a very open line of communication with both my daughter and my grand daughter, and they both knew all about alcoholism/addiction through early exposure to AA. My daughter now has 12 years in Nar-Anon after quitting a 20-year pot addiction...grand daughter did the teen-aged drinking thing, but is 25 and working a good full-time job while maintaining an A average in college.

As a parent, I know it's natural to worry about them; but, we can't protect them 24/7...we can only be supportive, set a good example, hope and pray they make the right decisions...and, then turn them over to the protection of their own Higher Power.

KERRYZZME

Thank you so much to everyone for their comments and advice. It means alot and is very helpful.
And by the way my daughter and I have sat down and read as well as talked over all the effects acid can do to a person physically, mentally and emotionally. She seemed to be very interested and enjoyed the knowledge, instead of feeling forced to read something boring with her parent! Yeah!

dancinggirl

I'm so glad you have such great communication with your daughter. However, please don't take what she says only at face-value....as you know, we have an amazing way to diminish and hide the extent of our "uses". I'm afraid that I am the type of parent who would be taking my child for random drug tests at the doctor's office and not relying on their word, should a problem present itself. Heck, I would be searching my child's room, too, without their knowledge. It's just too damn serious!!

least

THe best thing going for her, I think, is that she feels she can trust you with problems like this. Keep communication open and talk to her about various programs of recovery. Good wishes for you both!

:ghug3

KERRYZZME

Actually I do random drug test my daughter and my S.O. drug tests his son random as well. Also I did let her know that if she wants to spend time with the friends she tried acid with... She can, as long as I could drug test her after she gets home, if I want to.
Thank you for the great idea thou !!

Pinkcuda

One of the most difficult things to do as a recovered Alcoholic is talk to kids about Alcoholism when they are "at risk" kids.
Their first thought is "you did it and turned out OK". How do you counter that one?
I explain that all odds were against me and I am one of the lucky ones that made it. Most don't. I don't get graphic and I don't often go into much detail at all. Kids seem to glamourize the graphic details.
I just put emphasis on the fact that things don't work out well for most that do this and then I offer them any help they may want.
That's the kids I'm not related to. The ones that I am related to have seen enough and aren't interested in drugs and Alcohol.
Hope all goes well with you and yours.