missmelissa1527

i have been addicted to methadone, oxycontin, oxycodone, morphine and xanax for the past 5 years on and off. I have successfully withdrawn myself in the past, but i cant seem to do it this time. This is the longest stretch of non stop usage being that i found out i had a chronic pain condition and was put on both methadone and oxycodone and obvisouly was very happy to be getting the drugs prescribed but in a catch 22 because now i need them, because i was so high all the time i didnt even notice the pain i was in because the medication was taking care of it, and now its getting worse and worse. I work two jobs and cant do the sick thing, i just cant even go one day without and it kills me because i know i am better than this. It has been 3 years of non stop use ranging from 5-600 mg a day down to 20mg a day and right now i am at about 50mg a day of a combination of opiates or just one at a time, i have also developed anxiety when i dont have the xanax and can not sleep with out them but the thing is that all my friends and my boyfriend all do the same thing and i awlays give away my stuff to them or sell some and i just got my 100 pills two days ago and they are gone and i have to go 2 weeks until i get them agian, and i just cant afford to buy them off the streets anymore, and i dont want to, if i could just walk away and never feel like i **** i would, i dont need the rehab part of it i dont care about being high every day i am just scared to death of being sick and even getting a taste of it is scary. people say its in your head and i do agree with the fact that the more you think about it the worse it gets, but there is no denying the serious physical and mental withdrawels. i am such a better person withouth these drugs but i just dont know what to do, they are all around me and i cant just disappear for a month i need to find a quick way to ween down or something that helps elivate the sickness any help??

least

If you got one hundred pills two days ago and they're already gone, I'd say you do have a serious problem. If I were you I'd talk to my doctor for some sound medical advice and help in getting off the pain pills.

I wish you all the best in beating your addiction!

:ghug3

tommyk

"i cant just disappear for a month..."

I would check into a hospital or rehab unit within the next 5 minutes. Before the possibility of disappearing forever.

Just my opinion, I wish you the best.

Anna

I think your priority needs to be getting of the drugs, rather than worrying about your jobs. It seems to me you are in a dangerous position, especially if you are buying drugs off the street. I hope you talk to your dr and get his advice.

Hope21

Is there someone you can call? I non using friend or family member?

smallRaccoon

I agree with Least...100 pills in two days cant be good. u might want to see a doctor, just to start to see/consider what your options are. you might be surprised on what you can do to turn the addiction around...cant hurt to just find out info

best of luck!

grantstrength1

A girl I knew recently over dosed and died as a result of methadone and zanex. She was only 28 years old. You need to find a center where you can detox and be taken care of by medical professionals ASAP!
Once you take that step, then you can began the process of recovery.
Please, take care of yourself, hope to hear from you soon.
Prayers for you.

WishIWasNormal

I think she said she gives away some of her meds and also sells some. So she apparently didn't take all of them herself, but your advice is probably still appropriate.

missmelissa1527

thank you for all the support, i was saying that i had 100 pills yesterday and they are gone, but i didnt take them all, part of my issue is that all the people around me use and i probably ended up with about 20 for myself, which is still not good, and the reason i buy from the street is thus so because i lend them to people who pay me back, i help to many people out and then i am in the position of having to replace the ones i "lost" so all in all i dont probably do more than prescribed when spread out over the course...the first two or three days instead of doing the 4 i am prescribed i might do 8 and then two weeks later only have 2 or 3 so it varies, i have quit pills before and i know that i have to but the situation i am in i can not quit or worry about loosing my jobs, i am on my own and have thousands of dollars in student loans to worry about and am finally just getting back on track financially so i stress about that as well because i have been to rehab i know all the things they will say and do i need detox and where i live they dont have medical detox as far as i know, when we looked into it it was sit in a room for a week and sweat it out, and i cant afford to go pay thousands on rapid detox...i just lost someone a few months ago from withdrawels, not doing the actual drug but from stopping in one day he just decided he was done and three weeks later he died of organ failure, that is what scares me, and i cant show up to work with sweaty face and body and dialted pupils, i just wish there was something out there that helped with the detox process and allowed you to continue on life as normal, i dont expect a miracle just something to make it possible