buttercup1

I just can't.......
I lurked on this site for 6 months before I registered. During that time, I was debating whether I had a problem and was only drinking a few on most nights. Sometimes, I was able to go 2-3 days without a drink and was fine, but...in the back of my head I knew there was a problem. I can moderate my drinking, but it still consumes my life. Last night was a perfect example. We took the kids to the fireworks. I convinced hubby to pack a cooler with a few. Well, an hour before we left I took a beer in the computer room and drank to to get a head start(I did not tell him). I knew he was only bringing 2 beers for me and I wanted to have 1 in me ahead of time. Who hides alcohol??? Alcoholics do!!!

Since posting here, I have had more bad days then good. I wonder if it is because I log on here everyday, which makes me think of alcohol. I know everyone is here to support me, but coming here makes me want to drink more. I can't figure it out.

So, no pity party for me, just wanted to get this out so I can start fresh today. I may take a break from this site for awhile and see how it goes. I will keep everyone posted from time to time.
Thanks for all the support :sorry

TorontoGuy28

Nothing to be sorry abot buttercup1... I too found myself chugging a few beers so nobody else would know how many I actually drank, anything for that buzz... It also sounds like you're a little angry with yourself, I can totally relate to the shame I felt the next morning.. It's a disease of the mind as much as it is a disease of the body.. Good news, is that things get better and the obsession to drink goes away..

Have you visited any local AA meetings ? Rooms full of people who understand, and are just like us...

CarolD

Congratulations on your new beginning
wishing you success as you move forward.

Blessings to you and your family

Nohangovers4me

I hope it works out for you! I still drink from time to time. But I still show up here. For me it gives me motivation to not drink that day. Good luck to you! But I wanted you to know that I totally understand your story, believe me. If you want a friend message me!

Anna

Hi Buttercup,

I know that, for me, the harder I tried to moderate my drinking, the more consumed I was by thoughts of drinking.

I hope you can continue to find support here at SR, but of course, you need to do whatever works for you.