gettingdown

hi all im new here.. and i really dont want to open up to anyone except what better than a forum full of people that dont know me. i have a real bad addiction that makes me curl up and cry every night in bed praying i dont have to see the next day. im hooked on vicodines, lortab, norcos, vals, xanyz, dexadrine, i can go on and on. im not gonna go too much into detail... because i know none of you yet. i do admit i have a problem and honestly day after day its the only thing on my mind all day long until i hook up. and even then... i start to wonder how i will hook up next time. im also starting to worry because now heroin is creeping its way into my scene.

ANGELINA243

Welcome! Glad you are here! You don't have to go any farther..in the addiction process.....heroin isn't the way to go......hang in there! Keep posting/reaching out for help! I'm glad you are here!:praying

DSodaNow

Welcome! This is a great place to start. Sounds like you have a lot to deal with. Have you ever thought about going to NA? Or spoke with your Doctor? Be very careful when detoxing because it is dangerous and you should seek medical help.

Please keep posting and sharing here. We are a great support to one another!

Anna

Hi and Welcome!

I'm glad you found us.

You only need to share whatever you're comfortable with sharing. This is a great place to come for support.

mle-sober

Hi! I'm glad you're here and taking a step toward recovery by telling us a little bit about what's going on with you. If you really want to get better, you have to be very, very brave. It sounds to me like you're a good candidate for inpatient treatment. Do you have insurance and have you checked on your benefits for that?

There are many people who have struggled with addictions very similar to yours and who are clean and sober now. It absolutely can be done. But you need to have resolve and you need to take the steps that will help you.

I'm glad you're here - this is a great site.

gettingdown

hahahha NA... look i met more hook ups at NA than anywhere else... lol. i did go to a rehab... wanna know what a load of horse **** that was? i was there for 10 days. out of those ten days... we met for an hour every 3 days. WTF? right? there was absolutly no concern for your feelings or what not. all they wanted to know was how you were feeling while comming down. they basically trapped us in a couple of rooms... with a pool table, table tennis table.. and a couple of picnic tables. and guess what? some of the people i was there with gave me thier number and ssaid lets hook up when we get out. LMFAO.. when we get out.. like its a prison and not a ******* rehab. people ive been at the point to where i bielieve FULLY and im sure most of you do also... that it is the government and the powers that be in the world are getting us hooked, keeping us hooked. making money off of it.. and then making money off of you getting busted. im sick and disgusted with my fellow humans as well as myself. dont worry im not a psycho.

Klynn33

If you were making connections in rehab and NA groups,...might I suggest that you're weren't ready to make any sort of committment to quit? No one says it's going to be easy - and there are temptations everywhere. you need to believe you're strong enough to deal with it. I would also look for different meetings in another area - there will always be people at some of them who are made to go, and aren't really looking to get better.

But if you are truly tired of this life, and at some point you will be - just know that you will be able to fight it. you will be able to get past it. My DOC was pills too - and I think I understand a little bit about where you're at right now. I was angry with the world for a VERY long time...........and it was everyone's fault but mine. That's the addiction talking. You have come on here - hopefully to listen to people's stories and advice, and we'd love to know how you're feeling, and offer support if we can.

Just please think about getting more drugs added into your system. just makes it harder. with everything you're on - I hope you look for medical advice on detoxing. and if the first doctor doesn't help - keep looking. This is your life you're dealing with - find one that's willing to respect that.

mle-sober

Getting Down,

My heart goes out to you. I know without doubt that you are suffering.

I can read plainly in your post that you are filled with fear, doubt, self-loathing and misery. And this, you acknowledge, is directly linked to your addiction.

What I don't read in your post is a strong and committed desire to quit. It's hard to say that. It might just be that you are afraid. I could be completely wrong. So I will ask you point blank. Do you want to quit?

Regardless of your previous experiences with NA and rehab, it is possible to quit. And it is possible to craft a life that does not have you curled up in a fetal ball crying each night. It really is possible. But you have to want to quit so bad. You have to reach down deep inside you and find strength. You have to take responsibility and stop blaming. None of that happens right away. But the first step is you have to be deeply, deeply devoted to stopping. The pain you feel from the drugs has to be more than the pain you feel from the idea of stopping. Because quitting it is painful. But it leads to a new life. And not quitting is infinately more painful. And it leads to chaos, hurt and ultimately death.

I am glad you are here at SR. I hope you stay and keep reading and posting.

Rusty Zipper

gd, this is a beginning for you...

and that our friend is huge!

good wishes on your journey towards recovery...

rz

Dee74

the government's already schtupping me royally with gas prices, food prices, rent, medical costs...they don't need to get me hooked to keep me poor LOL.

We're the one's who get ourselves hooked, and we keep ourselves hooked...we'll find a fix anywhere - even in a NA meeting - until we say enough.

Hope you say enough soon
D

Daddio

Hey Gettingdown. Could I get the name and number of that Government worker that first sold you your drugs? Sounds like a gravey job to me. Or are you getting yours through the Fed that works at your doctor's office?

From reading your post you don't seem quite ready to make a committment to this sober thing. I hope that that mind set changes soon. We will be here for you when that happens.

And no, I don't believe for a moment that the Government is behind YOUR addiction!!! You and you alone are responsible for that one.

Welcome to our site. Keep posting on your progress.

Aysha

Admitting you have a problem is a huge step.
Glad you are here. Hope to see more of you.
But I dont agree with the whole government thing.
I chose to get high and I make a very conscious decision to go back everytime.
My experience in rehab was quite the opposite.
We didnt have pool tables and crap like that. It was groups all day. Learning about addiction and why we do things we do in our addiction.
Also every single counselor there took a great deal of time to talk with everyone one on one. Shared their own experiences and did their very best to show us that it is possible to beat this ****.
And most of the patients there all worked together and helped each other.
Now that is just my experience in one facility.

Now in my opinion. If you were hooking up in meetings and rehab. You werent there for the right reasons. MAybe you just arent ready.

Ananda

I've concluded that it doesn't matter how or why I became an alchoholic/addict....I am one now and I have to deal with it.

They whys and stuff don't have to stop you gettingdown...I'm glad you made it here tonight.:ghug