From the brink...
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
From the brink...
Was on the brink of drinking just about an hour ago. Found something out earlier this afternoon -- a big disappointment. Won't go into details, though, because it's not really relevant...
I'm 30 days sober today, and up until now I've had some thoughts of giving in -- but not like this. My husband poured my martini, threw in five olives and brought it out to me. It looked great -- nicely chilled. And it smelled wonderful.
I was about to take that first sip, but thought about it for a moment. Asked myself if I was ready to blow my 30 days. Haven't been sober for this long since I turned 21... 26 years of self medicating to handle the "disappointments."
Then I logged on here. I reread some of my posts, some back as far as 11/06. Then I read and reread a bunch of others -- posts by so many of you who've made such a difference in my life.
I don't want to give in and have a second, then a third, etc. I don't want to wake up tomorrow feeling absolutely miserable, wondering how I got to bed. I don't want my kids to look at me tomorrow morning and think "I'll bet she has another hangover."
Long story short -- I followed some of the advice I've given to some of the other newbies who've posted here recently. EVEN THOUGH I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO AT THE TIME.
I stopped.
Thought.
Logged on.
Read my old posts.
and posted.
It worked today; I didn't drink. I pray to God it works next time, too.
One day at a time....
I'm 30 days sober today, and up until now I've had some thoughts of giving in -- but not like this. My husband poured my martini, threw in five olives and brought it out to me. It looked great -- nicely chilled. And it smelled wonderful.
I was about to take that first sip, but thought about it for a moment. Asked myself if I was ready to blow my 30 days. Haven't been sober for this long since I turned 21... 26 years of self medicating to handle the "disappointments."
Then I logged on here. I reread some of my posts, some back as far as 11/06. Then I read and reread a bunch of others -- posts by so many of you who've made such a difference in my life.
I don't want to give in and have a second, then a third, etc. I don't want to wake up tomorrow feeling absolutely miserable, wondering how I got to bed. I don't want my kids to look at me tomorrow morning and think "I'll bet she has another hangover."
Long story short -- I followed some of the advice I've given to some of the other newbies who've posted here recently. EVEN THOUGH I REALLY DIDN'T WANT TO AT THE TIME.
I stopped.
Thought.
Logged on.
Read my old posts.
and posted.
It worked today; I didn't drink. I pray to God it works next time, too.
One day at a time....
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 6,608
Hey Newleaf - Thank you so much for your post. I have been so close (not your kind of close though) for the past week and its been quite a struggle. I stopped counting my sober days and are going day to day. Thank you so much. Wait I already said that, but it can't hurt to say it again. It must be a full moon or something . . .
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Liz, I'm so very proud of you for getting through this without drinking. Congratulations on 30 days!
Oh yeah - not sure of hubby's motive in pouring you a drink, but if you haven't already, now would be the time to ask him to be respectful of your recovery - he needs a frying pan over the head for that one! Good on you for not taking the drink then blaming him for pouring it.
Oh yeah - not sure of hubby's motive in pouring you a drink, but if you haven't already, now would be the time to ask him to be respectful of your recovery - he needs a frying pan over the head for that one! Good on you for not taking the drink then blaming him for pouring it.
Last edited by Rowan; 06-17-2008 at 05:38 PM. Reason: j/k about the frying pan
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
Thanks for the kind words, everybody. I'm just glad I had all of YOU to share this with. Truly!!!
It IS so incredibly hard.
Just so people know, I asked my husband to make the martini. MY BAD. I was feeling low, beaten down -- and I (and my disease, which did most of the talking) "convinced" him to oblige.
As some of you know, although he knows it's hard for me sometimes (well -- maybe often) he continues to drink every night ending in "Y." I thought I'd convinced him to at least stop during the work week not too long ago, but that lasted -- oh... about three days. I'm trying to remember that I need to focus more on overcoming MY ADDICTION. I can't work on his.
Maybe that will come later.
Anyway -- you guys are great.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!
It IS so incredibly hard.
Just so people know, I asked my husband to make the martini. MY BAD. I was feeling low, beaten down -- and I (and my disease, which did most of the talking) "convinced" him to oblige.
As some of you know, although he knows it's hard for me sometimes (well -- maybe often) he continues to drink every night ending in "Y." I thought I'd convinced him to at least stop during the work week not too long ago, but that lasted -- oh... about three days. I'm trying to remember that I need to focus more on overcoming MY ADDICTION. I can't work on his.
Maybe that will come later.
Anyway -- you guys are great.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
congratulations on staying sober, despite feelings to the contrary! The best advice I could give you, you've already given yourself: one day at a time!! THat's how we get there, to sober life, we travel one day at a time!.
:ghug3
:ghug3
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