michaelza

Hi All

It's been 18 days and counting for me since I last touched any alcohol. The occasional thought has crept in but nothing to send me over the edge just yet.

Just wanted to mention that next weekend I have been invited to my best friends bachelors party. Naturally everyone there will be drinking and socializing and i am starting to get a little anxious. Can anyone give me some suggestions on how to go about handling this situation. I can say to myself now I won't drink, but when the devil stares you in the eye it's a whole new ball game.

Thanks in advance.

Tazman53

michael I can give you suggestions, such as just keep a coke in your hand at all times or no thanks, I am taking antibiotics........ but the reality of it all lies with you!

What I would suggest is no matter how strongly you feel you can do this without drinking to make sure you have a way out if you need to. Drive your self there, that way you have a way to leave if the urge is hitting you really bad. You say this is your best friend right? Perhaps you should let him know ahead of time that you may have to leave early. He may be able to help you with a way out if need be.

tommyk

Great idea to drive yourself there, good suggestion.

TorontoGuy28

Michael - I had a similar situation last weekend.

Told everyone I was driving, and after people got drunk, nobody really cared and totally forgot I was not drinking... IF you feel it's getting too much, leave..

CarolD

Well....some of these may not suit for a bachelors party
....but
Here are some tips that have worked for me
and I have left sober each time...

Go late ...leave early
Take your own car.

Ask a sober friend to go with you.
Take sober peoples phone numbers to call if you get antsy.

Turn your wine glass upside down at dinner
..denoting to the server you don't plan to drink
When toasts are made raise a glass of water

Get your own beverage from the bar. then
carry around a glass with something non alcoholic
(Club soda and Lime ..Coke with a cherry...Virgin Mary)

When asked "want a drink"?
you then say..."No thanks I have one"
When you leave your beverage ...smell before drinking.
It's easy to mix up the glasses.

Dance often and enjoy!

Well done on your sober time!

SoBearish

Hello Michael!

Tough one and you are right to be afraid. There are few situations that are as drunk and disorderly as a Bachelor party.

Definitely have an early escape route planned. Arriving late is a good idea too.

Also have you thought about volunteering as designated driver?

Good luck!

tennis71

If you are serious about recovery I would suggest not going.

Especially in early recovery, most lack the tools to make it through a situation such as a bachelor party, whose sole purpose is usually to get drunk and go to strip clubs.

The wedding would be better to attend as the primary focus is not on the booze and they are easier to escape from if the urge becomes too strong.

The decision is yours, just be careful no matter what.

kj3880

My best friend got married, I was Maid of Honor, and I didn't want to associate with her other dippy party-girl buddies from college, so what I did was I said I had to work that night of her "batcherlorette" and I took her out just by ourselves on a different night. We went to a nice restaurant, had a good meal and conversation, caught a movie she picked out, then stayed up talking late at my house. It wasn't "wild and crazy" but she appreciated the effort I showed and she said it was way more fun and personal than the other party. We even took a few pictures of us being silly together for the wedding album. Good way to avoid the whole situation if you suspect you will drink there.
kj

Hevyn

Really great suggestions - I'll just add, after it's over you'll feel strengthened because you got through it unscathed! Every time I make it through a holiday or special occasion I feel even more encouraged. There was a little resentment in the beginning, but I'm over that now. (Just think how superior you'll feel next day, no hangover, no remorse.)