roverny

Just wanted to say I'm here, as everyone else is, because I have a major problem with drugs. My drug of choice happens to be Ultram/Tramadol and I'm currently trying to quit (as we speak) cold turkey (for the 4th or so time).

I've tried before on my own. Obviously can't do it. So I tried going to an outpatient center-1 time a week. That didn't do it. So now starting this week, I'm going to go to the outpatient center 3 times a week and go to NA the rest of the time.

I'm terrified of inpatient (job and all) and I hope to god I can do it this time, it just feels soooo bad. Achy, burning, hot/cold, blah!! Why did I do these drugs again??? Oh yeah my wife is about fed up with me (can't blame her) and she doesn't know about this latest episode. I just feel so lost and that I might loose her. Which would absolutely kill me.

Just so you know I tried the Suboxone/Subutex route with no success, started abusing those as well. So hear I sit. I just wanted to let you know my story and say hi!

chris

Daddio

Hey Rover. Glad you found our site. I am a recovering alkie so I really can't help with the drug thing. But stay tuned, becuase someone on here can talk to you about it.

Best to you and keep posting. We definitely want to know how you're doing.

Astro

Hello Chris, and welcome to SR. This is a great place for support and it can be a wonderful addition to any recovery program. Outpatient and NA are a good start, I hope you stick with NA and begin your 12 Steps. These programs really do work if we have the desire to stay clean and sober.

Keep reading and posting, I hope to hear more from you.

least

I hope you can find the support and advice you need, both here and in outpatient treatment, and in NA. Keep coming back and posting. We want to hear how you're doing. My drug of choice was alcohol, so I don't know anything about the pain meds. I do know that there are a lot of people here with a lot of experience in all kinds of addictions. So if I can't offer more than hugs and support, someone else can give more useful advice to you. Keep coming back and let us know how you are doing! :ghug3

Anna

I hope you feel better soon.

It sounds like you have a good plan.

sailorjohn

WELCOME!!!

roverny

Hey guys thanks for the nice words. just got home after group. withdrawl is truly rearing it's ugly head. i hope to god i can do this...

Ravensoul

I am pulling for you. I am sorry to hear of your struggles, esp. with your wife. Have you tried speaking to her the way you just have here? I know how such an addiction can tear a relationship apart, and I wish my late husband and I had ever really spoken honestly about my drinking (as opposed to arguing about it, which, while honest, was not the same as me admitting to him that I was terribly sick and needed help and was not just doing it for "fun" or to hurt him )

I think it helps a lot to reveal how helpless you feel over it and how terrified you are of losing her as a result of this sickness you feel powerless to control.
No guarantees, but hopefully she will respond with compassion and a desire to help you through this. Odds are she is feeling terribly rejected and frustrated, thinking you have chosen the drugs over her intentionally.
Let her know that is not the case.

My issue is alcohol, but I have a friend who struggles with addictions to drugs similar to yours. Six of one, half dozen of the other, as my Granny used to say. Best wishes.

tommyk

With His help you can. Reach out to God, reach out to others.

AA/NA all the way!

Rella927

Welcome Roverny! Glad that you found us! Please know that there is a lot of support here-Please check out other forums-and the stickies at the top of the forums.Wealth of information at your fingertips!

Keep posting and know that you are not alone.....know that if you reach out to God he will be there for you

Welcome again!

jodyjody

Hey there. Just checkin in.....Are you still around?

kelsh

Hi sailorjohn,

I sent a PM today cuz the first one wouldn't go because your PM box was full. I still don't know how to operate all the aspects of this computer program...so different from the one that I had at work.

Anyway I like your avatar...do you do a lot of fishing and/or sailing? My husband is an avid fisherman but has slowed down some the past two years. Has something going on the docs can't put their finger on. He had some scans done this past week so hope we find something that can be fixed.

Our boat is still out at H fishing partner's house. We don't have enough room to keep it at our house in the winter because we have to keep all rigs off the street for the snow plower. Now they are going to refinish the street on our hill so have left the boat out of town...H has been too ill to go fishing yet.

He has always wanted a sailboat. I wish he could get to go out in one before he can't go anymore. He was disabled in 1964 from a logging accident and had one leg amputated. He went to college and worked as a Social Worker for 24 years and put his body through a lot doing everything possible for himself. His body has finally wore out & is slowing him down too much.

This is hard for me to watch but thank goodness we got back together again after I quit drinking so I can help him....we truly were meant to be together in our old age if we make to old age which I consider to be in the 80's & 90's.

Take Care,

kelsh :ghug

roverny

Hey there Jody, thanks for asking. I actually did end up going to detox and then i lost my job so since i had the time i went to rehab as well. just got out last week.

so besides the job i lost (after almost 12 years), after only 1 day in detox nonetheless, things are going pretty good. I relapsed once a couple of days after rehab, but on on my 8th day now and going to outpatient-everyday and aa everyday and already have a sponsor.

my wife was mad for a while but she just last night said she loved me and things are slowly getting back to "normal".

thank you guys for your support.

Rowan

Thanks for checking back in - and well done on your 8 days, and sticking to your recovery plan. I'm sorry to hear about your job, but you've only got one life. Cherish it.