Day 10 and cranky
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 448
Day 10 and cranky
Hi guys,
The rollercoaster is up and down again. I had a really busy day at work, but it was nice to be able to deal with it all. I went to my meeting, which was also good. Got home and started feeling out of sorts. Not any huge mood swing, just more like really irritable and having no idea why. Talked to my sponsor for a few minutes, but she was having a family crisis of some kind. Came on and read here for a while. Finally decided I couldn't really stand myself, so went to bed and read. The good news is that I didn't pick up an drink and I think I'm finally learning how to fall asleep, again. But I woke up in the same cranky mood.
I shouldn't be b*tchy right now. I've had sleep, I have been able to actually enjoy driving (actually PASSED cars yesterday on the way home), made my bonus for last month, which will help financially and I am not counting the minutes anymore. I should be grateful for all of these things. I did have a craving to drink last night (at my meeting, of all places!). I didn't give in, but boy it took a lot for me to go straight from the meeting to home. Sorry if I'm whining here. I just know that it helps me to get this out so that I don't pick up that drink.
The rollercoaster is up and down again. I had a really busy day at work, but it was nice to be able to deal with it all. I went to my meeting, which was also good. Got home and started feeling out of sorts. Not any huge mood swing, just more like really irritable and having no idea why. Talked to my sponsor for a few minutes, but she was having a family crisis of some kind. Came on and read here for a while. Finally decided I couldn't really stand myself, so went to bed and read. The good news is that I didn't pick up an drink and I think I'm finally learning how to fall asleep, again. But I woke up in the same cranky mood.
I shouldn't be b*tchy right now. I've had sleep, I have been able to actually enjoy driving (actually PASSED cars yesterday on the way home), made my bonus for last month, which will help financially and I am not counting the minutes anymore. I should be grateful for all of these things. I did have a craving to drink last night (at my meeting, of all places!). I didn't give in, but boy it took a lot for me to go straight from the meeting to home. Sorry if I'm whining here. I just know that it helps me to get this out so that I don't pick up that drink.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
You're doing great!
Ten days is still early in the process and it can take quite awhile for emotions to smooth out. I know for me, that was a time of peeling away layer after layer of myselfr and dealing with my real emotions for the first time in a long time.
Ten days is still early in the process and it can take quite awhile for emotions to smooth out. I know for me, that was a time of peeling away layer after layer of myselfr and dealing with my real emotions for the first time in a long time.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
flgirl that is awesome. Early sobriety can at times seem like insanity. Mood swings were my experience and from what I have seen here and heard in the rooms very common!!!
Emotional rollercoaster ride was so true for me. In early sobriety for me emotions were intense, of course emotions were something I really had not felt in years without the aid of booze so they were very raw!!!! I would go from being happy as a lark one minute, POed as Hades the next, and crying the third!!! (Yes men do cry!!! LOL).
Time I think was the biggest factor in early sobriety in the emotional rollercoaster ride, that and meetings where I could talk to other folks about what was going on in my head, it helped a lot to know that whaat I was going through was normal and that in time it would get better.
When things are good just smile, when the crap is hitting the fan or you feel the world is about to end, call someone, go to a meeting, help someone who needs some help, do something to get out of your head, I have found that if I sit and do nothing when something is bothering me all that happens is the problem just seems to grow and grow in my head like a snowball rolling down a hill. If I do something the thing bugging me quits spinning in my head.
Emotional rollercoaster ride was so true for me. In early sobriety for me emotions were intense, of course emotions were something I really had not felt in years without the aid of booze so they were very raw!!!! I would go from being happy as a lark one minute, POed as Hades the next, and crying the third!!! (Yes men do cry!!! LOL).
Time I think was the biggest factor in early sobriety in the emotional rollercoaster ride, that and meetings where I could talk to other folks about what was going on in my head, it helped a lot to know that whaat I was going through was normal and that in time it would get better.
When things are good just smile, when the crap is hitting the fan or you feel the world is about to end, call someone, go to a meeting, help someone who needs some help, do something to get out of your head, I have found that if I sit and do nothing when something is bothering me all that happens is the problem just seems to grow and grow in my head like a snowball rolling down a hill. If I do something the thing bugging me quits spinning in my head.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 448
Thanks guys,
I'm doing a bit better. Took a good, long, hot shower. Gonna go to meetings today. I'm off today, so I figure I can plan my day around meetings, rather than the other way around. I know I'm expecting too much, as far as my moods are concerned. Good news is that I don't want to pick up a drink!
You guys are the best! :ghug
I'm doing a bit better. Took a good, long, hot shower. Gonna go to meetings today. I'm off today, so I figure I can plan my day around meetings, rather than the other way around. I know I'm expecting too much, as far as my moods are concerned. Good news is that I don't want to pick up a drink!
You guys are the best! :ghug
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
How about asking another member for coffee/dessert after your meeting?
That's a good way to get to know AA friends
then you can begin a network of sober girls to call or talk with.
I picked another single woman when I was new to sobriety She and I had things in common.
We did establish a close relationship outside the rooms.
Good to see you are moving forward...
That's a good way to get to know AA friends
then you can begin a network of sober girls to call or talk with.
I picked another single woman when I was new to sobriety She and I had things in common.
We did establish a close relationship outside the rooms.
Good to see you are moving forward...
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
Congratulations on you ten days!!! I know that crabby feeling. I can only tell you that the roller coaster will go back up. It just takes time. I can totally understand your feelings, but you're doing the right things. Meetings and not giving in to the cravings. Look how far you've come!! You sound (like I do) better and better. And isn't it wonderful to wake up each day clear headed and not sick as a dog!
Keep going girlfriend!! You're doing great!! I'm proud of you!!
:ghug2
Keep going girlfriend!! You're doing great!! I'm proud of you!!
:ghug2
Certified Scrabble Cheat!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The Hill City, MS
Posts: 316
Hey Florida. A big ole high five on your day ten!!! 
As for the cranky, wa-wa stuff. I'm at day 585 and sometimes wake up just out of kilter. So some of that is just being human. But at day 10 I would think that as the booze continues to drain off of your brain that you will continue to uncover your emotions. Just like driving your car was a BIG DEAL two weeks ago, NASCAR could very well now be in your future. Your daily emotions should begin to settle down soon as well.
Remember that you need to tell your brain where to put certain feelings. It's a synaptic restrapping process that we go through. With my driving I sent my brain to a place called "Cruise Control". With that I envisioned a sunny day, with great music playing, a tankful of gas and clean car. So when I was fighting the willies all I would do say let's go into cruise control. It's a common technique.
Keep on carrying on.
As for the cranky, wa-wa stuff. I'm at day 585 and sometimes wake up just out of kilter. So some of that is just being human. But at day 10 I would think that as the booze continues to drain off of your brain that you will continue to uncover your emotions. Just like driving your car was a BIG DEAL two weeks ago, NASCAR could very well now be in your future. Your daily emotions should begin to settle down soon as well.
Remember that you need to tell your brain where to put certain feelings. It's a synaptic restrapping process that we go through. With my driving I sent my brain to a place called "Cruise Control". With that I envisioned a sunny day, with great music playing, a tankful of gas and clean car. So when I was fighting the willies all I would do say let's go into cruise control. It's a common technique.
Keep on carrying on.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 448
Hi guys,
I think I figured out why I was so out of sorts...You ready?? I wanted a DRINK! So first I was incredibly irritated, because I know that I cannot have one and am not willing to have one. So then it was one BIG pity party for poor lil ole me. Took me a while to recognize that's what it was. How self-centered and stupid is that?
I've also been dealing with a lot of emotions that I have tried for a very long time to numb with the alcohol. I've been feeling a bit raw.
So I dragged my *ss to a meeting first thing this morning...and wouldn't ya know...somebody was talking about the rollercoaster...it could have been me saying the same exact words...I kept my big mouth shut and listened. I mean REALLY listened. Then I got my nails done, then went to another meeting...and really listened, again. After, I was able to go grocery shopping without going down the wine aisle. I have my women's meeting tonight and then we are going out for dessert, after.
Thanks for all of your support! :ghug
(And Daddio, at the rate I'm going, NASCAR may very well be in my future...or at least a h*ll of a speeding ticket...LOL)
I think I figured out why I was so out of sorts...You ready?? I wanted a DRINK! So first I was incredibly irritated, because I know that I cannot have one and am not willing to have one. So then it was one BIG pity party for poor lil ole me. Took me a while to recognize that's what it was. How self-centered and stupid is that?
I've also been dealing with a lot of emotions that I have tried for a very long time to numb with the alcohol. I've been feeling a bit raw.
So I dragged my *ss to a meeting first thing this morning...and wouldn't ya know...somebody was talking about the rollercoaster...it could have been me saying the same exact words...I kept my big mouth shut and listened. I mean REALLY listened. Then I got my nails done, then went to another meeting...and really listened, again. After, I was able to go grocery shopping without going down the wine aisle. I have my women's meeting tonight and then we are going out for dessert, after.
Thanks for all of your support! :ghug
(And Daddio, at the rate I'm going, NASCAR may very well be in my future...or at least a h*ll of a speeding ticket...LOL)
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 428
Great job on day 10! I remember being extremely irritable right around my day ten. My first month of sobriety was a huge up and down ride for my emotions. Just last week I walked out of a meeting feeling great and within in the hour crashed into a huge bout' of depression that lasted almost three days.
But I am feeling good and I just keep trying to keep everything in perspective and not let myself get overwhelmed by my emotions of the moment. I am glad that you were able to stay sober thru this.
Thanks for posting.... It helps me to see your posts!
But I am feeling good and I just keep trying to keep everything in perspective and not let myself get overwhelmed by my emotions of the moment. I am glad that you were able to stay sober thru this.
Thanks for posting.... It helps me to see your posts!
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Seems like you had a pefectly balanced day!
I'm glad that you went and had your nails done. I feel we all need to reward ourselves for a job well done. How many times did we do this with alcohol? It's great that you're finding other ways to relax and enjoy something healthy that makes you feel good.
You seem to really be identifying emotions pretty darn well for only having 10 days. You may not have the answers at the time, but goodness, who always does? I'm heading towards three years soon and there are days where I have no idea why I'm feeling what I'm feeling. Just as long as we don't drink over it, then we've done good! When I had 10 days, tying my shoes was emotional and confusing.
I'm so proud of you. It's a joy watching you grow each day. I also admire the fact that you don't come on here and say all is going well. You're honest about what you are feeling and that's what it takes to remain sober and grow in your Recovery.
God Bless,
Judy
I'm glad that you went and had your nails done. I feel we all need to reward ourselves for a job well done. How many times did we do this with alcohol? It's great that you're finding other ways to relax and enjoy something healthy that makes you feel good.
You seem to really be identifying emotions pretty darn well for only having 10 days. You may not have the answers at the time, but goodness, who always does? I'm heading towards three years soon and there are days where I have no idea why I'm feeling what I'm feeling. Just as long as we don't drink over it, then we've done good! When I had 10 days, tying my shoes was emotional and confusing.
I'm so proud of you. It's a joy watching you grow each day. I also admire the fact that you don't come on here and say all is going well. You're honest about what you are feeling and that's what it takes to remain sober and grow in your Recovery.
God Bless,
Judy
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 486
Good job, it sounds like you are really progressing. The insight you shared about your emotional roller coaster and how you are getting through it just prove that you are moving in the right direction.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
LMAO day 400 and some and still cranky sometimes...never without cause tho 
things get 'normal' after a while
congrats on your time sober
D
things get 'normal' after a while
congrats on your time sober
D
Last edited by Dee74; 05-30-2008 at 05:42 PM. Reason: can't add up goodly
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 448
Hi guys,
I'm feeling a lot better after going to my 3rd meeting of the day. I just kept telling myself that I can do this, that the people I have meet at AA and you guys have done it and it's gonna be ok. I think my pride and intellect were wounded because, dontcha know, I have decided to no longer drink! That urge had some NERVE bothering me like that...LOL...doesn't it know that I have made up my mind??
I've started a list of what I should and should not do in order to not pick up a drink, and what things in my life are already better as a result of not drinking. Not sure if it's going to help, but it makes me feel better and gives me concrete examples of how to stay sober. It's also helping to remind me that I only have to worry about today. Can't worry about yesterday, and only God knows what's going to happen tomorrow, so may as well stay grounded. You guys are helping me do just that!
:ghug
I'm feeling a lot better after going to my 3rd meeting of the day. I just kept telling myself that I can do this, that the people I have meet at AA and you guys have done it and it's gonna be ok. I think my pride and intellect were wounded because, dontcha know, I have decided to no longer drink! That urge had some NERVE bothering me like that...LOL...doesn't it know that I have made up my mind??
I've started a list of what I should and should not do in order to not pick up a drink, and what things in my life are already better as a result of not drinking. Not sure if it's going to help, but it makes me feel better and gives me concrete examples of how to stay sober. It's also helping to remind me that I only have to worry about today. Can't worry about yesterday, and only God knows what's going to happen tomorrow, so may as well stay grounded. You guys are helping me do just that!
:ghug
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
way to go for ten days!
Yeah - alcohol addiction is a physical one.
Probably the most underreated physical addiction there is.
The body will 'talk' in whatever way it thinks it needs to
to get us to put the chemical back that it's convinced it needs.
Good for you figuring it out -
now you know for next time!
Yeah - alcohol addiction is a physical one.
Probably the most underreated physical addiction there is.
The body will 'talk' in whatever way it thinks it needs to
to get us to put the chemical back that it's convinced it needs.
Good for you figuring it out -
now you know for next time!
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