So..Yea..
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: France
Posts: 24
Hello Chiynita,
Good to see you on the boards! Like you I sometimes have to distance myself from overload of reading too many recovery books or getting on the gerbil wheel in my mind and I get fed up with it. I still get frustrated- "why can't I be normal?" Better forget that. I'm not often posting or chatting as time differences, but I do always have a look here to remind myself of who I am. So it was good to see a familiar name and know they struggle too. I know I do, and its a long journey ahead of me. Nice to be reminded we're not alone.
Good to see you on the boards! Like you I sometimes have to distance myself from overload of reading too many recovery books or getting on the gerbil wheel in my mind and I get fed up with it. I still get frustrated- "why can't I be normal?" Better forget that. I'm not often posting or chatting as time differences, but I do always have a look here to remind myself of who I am. So it was good to see a familiar name and know they struggle too. I know I do, and its a long journey ahead of me. Nice to be reminded we're not alone.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Chi I am glad you made it back, I pray that you have had enough this time, I pray that you want to be clean more then you want to be wasted.
Chi you know what you need to do if you want it, I pray you want it bad enough to get it before it kills you.
You know you can do it if you want to, we all know it.
Chi you know what you need to do if you want it, I pray you want it bad enough to get it before it kills you.
You know you can do it if you want to, we all know it.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,061
((((Trish)))) Been missing you around here, I always enjoy reading your posts. Dean took the words right out of my mouth......
Ya done yet?
You know there's always a seat in recovery for you, and someone will keep it warm for you as long as you're able to keep coming back. But what happens if you don't or can't make it back here someday?
You've been on SR for over a year now. How about making a commitment to your recovery and doing this deal? Nobody here has given up on you and they never will, so how about paying it forward and being a shining example of recovery to the newcomers?
Listen to yourself here: "Havent been to any meetings. I dont like all the huggy give me your number and I'll give you mine stuff. I know thats how it works. But I am not a people person...............I kinda like groups. And I participate alot." You like groups and participation, but you're not a people person? Huh??
OK I'm done and I'm sorry if I've offended you, but I think you're way better than you give yourself credit for, and this thread is proof that a lot of people love you and care about you. Time to shite or get off the pot.
:ghug3
Ya done yet?
You know there's always a seat in recovery for you, and someone will keep it warm for you as long as you're able to keep coming back. But what happens if you don't or can't make it back here someday?
You've been on SR for over a year now. How about making a commitment to your recovery and doing this deal? Nobody here has given up on you and they never will, so how about paying it forward and being a shining example of recovery to the newcomers?
Listen to yourself here: "Havent been to any meetings. I dont like all the huggy give me your number and I'll give you mine stuff. I know thats how it works. But I am not a people person...............I kinda like groups. And I participate alot." You like groups and participation, but you're not a people person? Huh??
OK I'm done and I'm sorry if I've offended you, but I think you're way better than you give yourself credit for, and this thread is proof that a lot of people love you and care about you. Time to shite or get off the pot.
:ghug3
"Welcome To The Future..."
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: WV
Posts: 224
Chi,
You know we all love you girl!!!! I'm glad you came back and are willing to listen to people who want to help you. I've been reading everyone's comments to your post, and it seems like there is a lifetime of experience and knowledge on here that can only help us!
I empathize with some of what you are saying. Sometimes we get so bogged down because things aren't happening as fast as we think they should. Being able to wait for the good things in life are always difficult but well worth the wait! This all has to do with being patient, something I struggle with daily!
Don't think of the last 30 days as being a waste. Ask yourself a question:
In that 30 day period of time didn't you learn at least one helpful life lesson?
IMO, If you only learned ONE thing in all that time, then it was not wasted time!!!!
Hang in there Chi! We need you as much as you need us! Take care of yourself. Stay safe. Stay strong.
Luv,
butterfly19
p.s.:
Get that tail out from between your legs! You've owned up to what you did wrong. Hold your head and tail high and show some pride! You're not the first to relapse and you certainly won't be the last!
(Keep driving yourself out of danger and don't look back!)
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Reading these responces has me all teary eyed. I kinda feel I dont deserve you guys support. But then I know thats what I need and I am so thankful all of you still stick by me.
As does my family.
I really went somewhere else there for awhile. I didnt know what I was doing or who I was. I did...But it wasnt the me I wanted to be and worked hard to find again.
I was a complete zombie for weeks and just couldnt snap out of it. I really tried and couldnt. Just total blankness in every part of me.
I am so lucky to have all of you and my family. And I am most definately lucky to keep getting these what seem like endless do overs. Luck runs out. And Lord knows mine will and very soon. I have had a gut feeling for a couple weeks now. And I am usually right with those gut feelings.
Noone offended me. I can say I have changed alot from when I first came here. There is a locked thread of mine from July or Sept of last year that proves thats. What a jerk I was. So full of myself. It made me sick reading what an arrogant clueless person I was.
I have learned alot in my time at trying to stay in recovery. I keep everything I learn even though I do stray alot.
I owe alot of hat I have take away from my attempts to all of you.
Not for just having patience with me. But for being there and always welcoming me everytime. Even when I was a bighead...Some of you understood that was an addicts thinking. Always encouraging me to be more than I think I am. I so thank all of you for that.
Now I am all crying. You all are amazing.
As does my family.
I really went somewhere else there for awhile. I didnt know what I was doing or who I was. I did...But it wasnt the me I wanted to be and worked hard to find again.
I was a complete zombie for weeks and just couldnt snap out of it. I really tried and couldnt. Just total blankness in every part of me.
I am so lucky to have all of you and my family. And I am most definately lucky to keep getting these what seem like endless do overs. Luck runs out. And Lord knows mine will and very soon. I have had a gut feeling for a couple weeks now. And I am usually right with those gut feelings.
Noone offended me. I can say I have changed alot from when I first came here. There is a locked thread of mine from July or Sept of last year that proves thats. What a jerk I was. So full of myself. It made me sick reading what an arrogant clueless person I was.
I have learned alot in my time at trying to stay in recovery. I keep everything I learn even though I do stray alot.
I owe alot of hat I have take away from my attempts to all of you.
Not for just having patience with me. But for being there and always welcoming me everytime. Even when I was a bighead...Some of you understood that was an addicts thinking. Always encouraging me to be more than I think I am. I so thank all of you for that.
Now I am all crying. You all are amazing.
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
((((Trish))))
Sounds like you have done a great deal of reflecting since you took the courageous step to post this thread.
I truly hope that you will begin to realize that you are worth all of the Blessings that Recovery has to offer.
With Prayers and Hugs, (whether you want the hugs or not)
Judy
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by chiynita 
Always encouraging me to be more than I think I am.
Because we know just how beautiful you can be and we fill with such joy when a person realizes that for themself.
Trish
You are worth it.
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Dear Chi,
I love all SR community members. Some are good guides, others set examples, others have great ideas and insights, yet others are good listeners. We all have something to offer. You? You are an inspiration to me Chee. Bar none. You know that. Why? I suppose I selfishly gather strength from a girl who struggles to grow and achieves it. At her own pace.
We clashed when we first met, but when we got to know each other you wowed me. You are not afraid of showing your weaknesses and so-called mistakes, talking about your problems, being real. You are a honest girl Chi, and lots of us look up to that.
There is no failure, no right or wrong. Instead, we make decisions and face the consequences. I think that's what responsibility is about. After re-reading your posts, that's what strikes me the most about you. You are willing to own up to those consequences and work on what you have. And what you have is so much more than you realize. Hopefully one day you will. Change
In the meantime, you have a $hitload of people standing by your side. Behind you too, should you need to fall. I know you won't. Glide instead and move on.
Love you always,
Matt
I love all SR community members. Some are good guides, others set examples, others have great ideas and insights, yet others are good listeners. We all have something to offer. You? You are an inspiration to me Chee. Bar none. You know that. Why? I suppose I selfishly gather strength from a girl who struggles to grow and achieves it. At her own pace.
We clashed when we first met, but when we got to know each other you wowed me. You are not afraid of showing your weaknesses and so-called mistakes, talking about your problems, being real. You are a honest girl Chi, and lots of us look up to that.
There is no failure, no right or wrong. Instead, we make decisions and face the consequences. I think that's what responsibility is about. After re-reading your posts, that's what strikes me the most about you. You are willing to own up to those consequences and work on what you have. And what you have is so much more than you realize. Hopefully one day you will. Change
In the meantime, you have a $hitload of people standing by your side. Behind you too, should you need to fall. I know you won't. Glide instead and move on.Love you always,
Matt
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
