Confused and iffy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2
Confused and iffy
So I decided a couple mornings ago on my way to work to find a forum like this... It's funny, I've joined forums for everything from car modification to computer science, but something like this never crossed my mind.
Forgive me if this is something the rest of you have heard a thousand times before. I have an addiction, but I don't consider it a problem. Not as it is. I don't buy into the whole 12-step thing, and I abandoned Christianity a long time ago so I could never see myself being responsive to any 12-step-based response to my situation. I drink. I enjoy drinking. But it never interferes with my life. Last night was probably the first night in about... oh, three or four weeks that I haven't had at least two or three beers. The truth is that most nights I'd drink either a six-pack or a bottle of red wine. I function perfectly the next day and never get angry, have mood swings, hurt my wife, or any of the other markers I've come to expect from someone I consider alcoholic. I've only noticed two changes (in the few years since I finished college) that slightly bother me -- my wallet gets a little thinner, and when I don't drink, I have a slightly harder time falling asleep at night.
I now have a little one on the way this fall. I could use the extra cash from cutting back on my drinking, but it's hard. Alcoholism runs in my family and the fact that I find it hard to cut back worries me. I don't fit my own mental image of an alcoholic, and I don't think many -- if ANY -- of those close to me think I do either. But something deep down inside of me is worried anyway.
Maybe I just need people to talk to. I think I need more nights like last nights -- it was hard to get to sleep, but when I finally made it through without a drink, I felt good. Maybe even... fulfilled.
Even if I don't get any new insight from this thread, I'm hoping I can use it to track my own progress. If I can even get from six or seven nights a week down to two or three nights a week, I think I will be better off.
I just need something to hold myself accountable to, and my own subconscious just isn't filling that role anymore.
Forgive me if this is something the rest of you have heard a thousand times before. I have an addiction, but I don't consider it a problem. Not as it is. I don't buy into the whole 12-step thing, and I abandoned Christianity a long time ago so I could never see myself being responsive to any 12-step-based response to my situation. I drink. I enjoy drinking. But it never interferes with my life. Last night was probably the first night in about... oh, three or four weeks that I haven't had at least two or three beers. The truth is that most nights I'd drink either a six-pack or a bottle of red wine. I function perfectly the next day and never get angry, have mood swings, hurt my wife, or any of the other markers I've come to expect from someone I consider alcoholic. I've only noticed two changes (in the few years since I finished college) that slightly bother me -- my wallet gets a little thinner, and when I don't drink, I have a slightly harder time falling asleep at night.
I now have a little one on the way this fall. I could use the extra cash from cutting back on my drinking, but it's hard. Alcoholism runs in my family and the fact that I find it hard to cut back worries me. I don't fit my own mental image of an alcoholic, and I don't think many -- if ANY -- of those close to me think I do either. But something deep down inside of me is worried anyway.
Maybe I just need people to talk to. I think I need more nights like last nights -- it was hard to get to sleep, but when I finally made it through without a drink, I felt good. Maybe even... fulfilled.
Even if I don't get any new insight from this thread, I'm hoping I can use it to track my own progress. If I can even get from six or seven nights a week down to two or three nights a week, I think I will be better off.
I just need something to hold myself accountable to, and my own subconscious just isn't filling that role anymore.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Glad to see you here...
We have lot's of information on the disease of Alcoholism.
According to the CDC....
Moderate drinking is no more than 2 drinks a day for men..1 for women
They consider a drink to be
12 oz. of beer..5 oz. of wine...1 1/2 oz liquor.
Your body and mind processes all 3 toxins equally
so drinking only wine or only liquor or only beer
or mixing them is of no importance.
They all do the sam mental and physical damage.
Obviously...you are no longer a moderate drinker.
Wishing you well.
We have lot's of information on the disease of Alcoholism.
According to the CDC....
Moderate drinking is no more than 2 drinks a day for men..1 for women
They consider a drink to be
12 oz. of beer..5 oz. of wine...1 1/2 oz liquor.
Your body and mind processes all 3 toxins equally
so drinking only wine or only liquor or only beer
or mixing them is of no importance.
They all do the sam mental and physical damage.
Obviously...you are no longer a moderate drinker.
Wishing you well.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 176
Hi Question37, glad u made it to SR... Welcome!
Maybe I just need people to talk to. I think I need more nights like last nights -- it was hard to get to sleep, but when I finally made it through without a drink, I felt good. Maybe even... fulfilled.
Even if I don't get any new insight from this thread, I'm hoping I can use it to track my own progress. If I can even get from six or seven nights a week down to two or three nights a week, I think I will be better off.
I just need something to hold myself accountable to, and my own subconscious just isn't filling that role anymore. I found SR a great source for information and support... stay around a while it will help u gain more understanding of what ur going thru... also u may find useful suggestions/personal experiences within this community to help see u thru. have a look around, read some... its good stuff
Great to hear u made it thru last night with a sense being fulfilled and feelin good. i agree u need more nights like this... take it one day at a time, keep posting!
best wishes:ghug
Originally Posted by question37 
Maybe I just need people to talk to. I think I need more nights like last nights -- it was hard to get to sleep, but when I finally made it through without a drink, I felt good. Maybe even... fulfilled.
Even if I don't get any new insight from this thread, I'm hoping I can use it to track my own progress. If I can even get from six or seven nights a week down to two or three nights a week, I think I will be better off.
I just need something to hold myself accountable to, and my own subconscious just isn't filling that role anymore.
Great to hear u made it thru last night with a sense being fulfilled and feelin good. i agree u need more nights like this... take it one day at a time, keep posting!
best wishes:ghug
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 2
Originally Posted by CarolD
Obviously...you are no longer a moderate drinker.
I might wake up in the morning and feel a little shame... and say on my way to work, "I'm not going to drink tonight." But odds are that by the time I'm on my way home, I'll find a way to justify grabbing "just a little something..."
I hope if I can see it later in my own words, maybe it'll hit home. More importantly, maybe it'll hit home past the 5pm mark.
G'night everyone.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,381
Hi and Welcome
I have read here that you can try and go 30 days without drinking. Only you can say if you have a problem. There are so many people that drink that do not look like the type to even drink.
For me a wino came to mind when I thought of an alcoholic. That is sooo far from the truth.
But reading post here will give you a better understanding. So, I hope you stick around. There is questions here every day and I'm sure everyone welcomes them.
I have read here that you can try and go 30 days without drinking. Only you can say if you have a problem. There are so many people that drink that do not look like the type to even drink.
For me a wino came to mind when I thought of an alcoholic. That is sooo far from the truth.
But reading post here will give you a better understanding. So, I hope you stick around. There is questions here every day and I'm sure everyone welcomes them.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Please check out these tips for sleeping
Insomnia? 41 Simple Tips to Help You Get to Sleep - Insomnia treatment, cures
They may come in handy some night.
Insomnia? 41 Simple Tips to Help You Get to Sleep - Insomnia treatment, cures
They may come in handy some night.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
When I first came into the halls of AA, my version of an alcoholic was a skidrow bum living behind a dumpster, drinking out of a brown paper bag.
An alcoholic was someone who drank every day, right? Or an alcoholic was one of those guys who had countless DUI's. Or an alcoholic was someone who hid their booze from the family at home. An alcoholic was someone who had blackouts when they drank.
I had the opportunity to see my then husband go right back out to the whiskey and drugs when he left rehab, and it scared me so bad I thought maybe I would keep an open mind on the alcoholism thing (I KNEW I had a problem with drugs).
Four years I stuck around, with a good deal of that being relatively happy, productive, and learning a better way to live.
Funny thing about alcoholism is it's cunning, baffling, and powerful. It will wait around forever for you to start doubting, for you to quit doing the things you were doing in recovery, for you to become terminally unique again.
So off to the races I went! The second time I drank, I blacked out. I woke up the next morning and had no idea how I had gotten home. Apparently I had driven myself home as my car was in the garage, with my oldest daughter's bike pinned between the back wall of the garage and my bumper.
It got worse....and worse....and worse...and by the grace of God I crawled back into AA two months later.
All those concepts you have of an alcoholic? They tell me those are in my yet (You're Eligible Too) bag.
I don't want to find out. Today I am convinced that I am an alcoholic, and it had nothing to do with the frequency/amount/brand of alcohol that I drank. The problem rests right between my ears, in my thinking and in my attitudes.
An alcoholic was someone who drank every day, right? Or an alcoholic was one of those guys who had countless DUI's. Or an alcoholic was someone who hid their booze from the family at home. An alcoholic was someone who had blackouts when they drank.
I had the opportunity to see my then husband go right back out to the whiskey and drugs when he left rehab, and it scared me so bad I thought maybe I would keep an open mind on the alcoholism thing (I KNEW I had a problem with drugs).
Four years I stuck around, with a good deal of that being relatively happy, productive, and learning a better way to live.
Funny thing about alcoholism is it's cunning, baffling, and powerful. It will wait around forever for you to start doubting, for you to quit doing the things you were doing in recovery, for you to become terminally unique again.
So off to the races I went! The second time I drank, I blacked out. I woke up the next morning and had no idea how I had gotten home. Apparently I had driven myself home as my car was in the garage, with my oldest daughter's bike pinned between the back wall of the garage and my bumper.
It got worse....and worse....and worse...and by the grace of God I crawled back into AA two months later.
All those concepts you have of an alcoholic? They tell me those are in my yet (You're Eligible Too) bag.
I don't want to find out. Today I am convinced that I am an alcoholic, and it had nothing to do with the frequency/amount/brand of alcohol that I drank. The problem rests right between my ears, in my thinking and in my attitudes.
Guest
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 176
best thing to do is.... talk to ur doctor.
also check that link CarolD threw in back ^^ there.
there are many ways other than using alcohol to get a good nights sleep.
It takes time and support to get this issue sorted, so don't be to hard on urself.
i think ur great, reading ur 2nd post... truely inspiring... with ur basic honesty and modest understanding... its that same point many of us began to seek answers.
again glad found SR, there is loads of support here.
looking foraward to ur next post. Good night.
also check that link CarolD threw in back ^^ there.
there are many ways other than using alcohol to get a good nights sleep.
It takes time and support to get this issue sorted, so don't be to hard on urself.
i think ur great, reading ur 2nd post... truely inspiring... with ur basic honesty and modest understanding... its that same point many of us began to seek answers.
again glad found SR, there is loads of support here.
looking foraward to ur next post. Good night.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,782
Like so many others that have found their way here, you are questioning if you have a 'problem'. To me, the minute I started questioning if I had a problem, it was apparent I had a problem, or else I wouldn't be wondering if I did. I think that deep down inside you feel uncomfortable with your drinking or you wouldn't be asking our opinions about it.
As was already said, try to go thirty days without it. If you find that's difficult or impossible, you may well have a problem. Try also the stickies at the top of the alcoholc and newcomer's forums. there is good info in there and maybe it will help you to determine if you have a bad enough problem with alcohol to stop drinking. Only you can say if you have a 'problem' or not. All the best to you.:ghug
As was already said, try to go thirty days without it. If you find that's difficult or impossible, you may well have a problem. Try also the stickies at the top of the alcoholc and newcomer's forums. there is good info in there and maybe it will help you to determine if you have a bad enough problem with alcohol to stop drinking. Only you can say if you have a 'problem' or not. All the best to you.:ghug
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