Another newbie here
Just for today
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Alicante, Spain
Posts: 18
Another newbie here
Just wanted to say hi all. This is my day 1.
In the past I've pretended to myself that I wanted to stop drinking, went to a couple of meetings and then decided I didn't really have a problem....I just liked getting drunk. But I don't like it.
I'm 43 years old and have been binge drinking since I was about 14. Spent so much of my time feeling ashamed of my behaviour, apologising to everyone and generally despising myself. Last year I walked out on a relationship where I had been verbally/emotionally abused for 4 years.....apparently I deserved the abuse because of my drinking.
Earlier this year met a really nice, friendly man who has been so supportive of me with this problem. Last night this 'really nice man' hit me in the face and dragged me round the room by my hair. The relationship is over - he knows I won't go anywhere near him again. I know I'm worth more than this, but not until I stop drinking......no decent person wants to be seen with someone who passes out at the bar, or who has to get carried home from the pub on a regular basis.
I have no respect for myself, so no-one else can.
Sorry enough of this, just thought I'd tell you a little bit of my story.
Anyway it's very good to be here and thanks for listening.
xxxx
In the past I've pretended to myself that I wanted to stop drinking, went to a couple of meetings and then decided I didn't really have a problem....I just liked getting drunk. But I don't like it.
I'm 43 years old and have been binge drinking since I was about 14. Spent so much of my time feeling ashamed of my behaviour, apologising to everyone and generally despising myself. Last year I walked out on a relationship where I had been verbally/emotionally abused for 4 years.....apparently I deserved the abuse because of my drinking.
Earlier this year met a really nice, friendly man who has been so supportive of me with this problem. Last night this 'really nice man' hit me in the face and dragged me round the room by my hair. The relationship is over - he knows I won't go anywhere near him again. I know I'm worth more than this, but not until I stop drinking......no decent person wants to be seen with someone who passes out at the bar, or who has to get carried home from the pub on a regular basis.
I have no respect for myself, so no-one else can.
Sorry enough of this, just thought I'd tell you a little bit of my story.
Anyway it's very good to be here and thanks for listening.
xxxx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Portsmouth UK
Posts: 33
Welcome Honeybunny - something tells me you are pretty determined to do something about your situation. I'm sure you will find all the support on here you need for the journey ahead Keep with us, and you will be fine.
GreatEscape
PS Whether you drink or not, you don't deserve bad treatment by others
GreatEscape
PS Whether you drink or not, you don't deserve bad treatment by others
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,516
Honeybunny,
I am so sorry for what happened to you last night and I really hope that you stay away from this guy. The thing is low self-esteem is a killer, in many ways. I know I couldn't have spent years drinking and poisoning myself if I had any self-esteem at all. Stopping drinking is the first positive thing you can do to boost your self-esteem. You will begin to feel good about yourself and the choices you make in your life and things will improve.
I am so sorry for what happened to you last night and I really hope that you stay away from this guy. The thing is low self-esteem is a killer, in many ways. I know I couldn't have spent years drinking and poisoning myself if I had any self-esteem at all. Stopping drinking is the first positive thing you can do to boost your self-esteem. You will begin to feel good about yourself and the choices you make in your life and things will improve.
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Hi Honeybunny,
It sounds like you've made a firm decision and that your intentions are solid. Now what do you plan to do?
I ask because I've been where you are and to tell you the truth no amount of firm decisions in the world could have kept me sober. Maybe others have different experiences - most likely. But for me to actually honor my good intentions, I really needed to take some serious steps. For me, asking God for help (truly getting it that I couldn't do it alone after trying again and again) and getting some treatment in additon to AA and a sponsor - these are the things I needed to get to 60 days today.
I'm sure many people get sober in many ways. But I just wondered if you had a plan.
And no one ever desreves to get abused, regardless of wether they're drinking or not. I'm glad you're saying no to that.
It sounds like you've made a firm decision and that your intentions are solid. Now what do you plan to do?
I ask because I've been where you are and to tell you the truth no amount of firm decisions in the world could have kept me sober. Maybe others have different experiences - most likely. But for me to actually honor my good intentions, I really needed to take some serious steps. For me, asking God for help (truly getting it that I couldn't do it alone after trying again and again) and getting some treatment in additon to AA and a sponsor - these are the things I needed to get to 60 days today.
I'm sure many people get sober in many ways. But I just wondered if you had a plan.
And no one ever desreves to get abused, regardless of wether they're drinking or not. I'm glad you're saying no to that.
.
Just for today
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Alicante, Spain
Posts: 18
Thanks all for your positive words.
I'm going to get myself to a meeting within the next 2 days. Could do with the support at the moment. My life isn't perfect just at the moment, but I know that getting sober would be an enormous step in the right direction. Things can only start to get better when I start to like myself.
I'm going to get myself to a meeting within the next 2 days. Could do with the support at the moment. My life isn't perfect just at the moment, but I know that getting sober would be an enormous step in the right direction. Things can only start to get better when I start to like myself.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by honeybunny 
Thanks all for your positive words.
I'm going to get myself to a meeting within the next 2 days. Could do with the support at the moment. My life isn't perfect just at the moment, but I know that getting sober would be an enormous step in the right direction. Things can only start to get better when I start to like myself.
I'm going to get myself to a meeting within the next 2 days. Could do with the support at the moment. My life isn't perfect just at the moment, but I know that getting sober would be an enormous step in the right direction. Things can only start to get better when I start to like myself.
The only thing that matters. If I remain sober today, it's been a good day. Hang in there! It does get better.
:ghug3:ghug3
*Grateful*
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
I am so sorry you were hit and dragged around and I am praying you can stay clean. Have to tried a meeting? It really is much easier with some outside face to face contact. We are pulling for you!
Sheila
Sheila
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Welcome!
First,keep yourself safe. An abusive relationshop is not a relationship. It is assault and battery. There is no behavior that might cause me to hit a woman.
Second, work on wanting and willingness. Simply quitting to avoid bad situations is not enough. You must want it regardless. You must be willing do do anything. You cn do it if you want it badly enough.
warren
First,keep yourself safe. An abusive relationshop is not a relationship. It is assault and battery. There is no behavior that might cause me to hit a woman.
Second, work on wanting and willingness. Simply quitting to avoid bad situations is not enough. You must want it regardless. You must be willing do do anything. You cn do it if you want it badly enough.
warren
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 486
Welcome and sorry to hear about your relationships.
At no time do you deserve physical or emotional abuse! You may want to look into some sort of battered womens recovery or something so you can break the cycle of abusive relationships.
As far as alcoholism goes, try making recovery your number 1 priority in your life right now. There are many resources out there that are beneficial but a good start would be attending an AA meeting or even Al Anon as I am guessing that the abusers in your life also had issues with alcohol and drugs.
No matter what you decide remember, it is time to focus on you!
At no time do you deserve physical or emotional abuse! You may want to look into some sort of battered womens recovery or something so you can break the cycle of abusive relationships.
As far as alcoholism goes, try making recovery your number 1 priority in your life right now. There are many resources out there that are beneficial but a good start would be attending an AA meeting or even Al Anon as I am guessing that the abusers in your life also had issues with alcohol and drugs.
No matter what you decide remember, it is time to focus on you!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I will agree with what everyone has said about abusive relationships - no one deserves abuse!! No one!! Whether they drink or not. Keep coming back here for the friendship and support so vital to our recovery. AA meetings would be good too, for face to face support and hugs and friends to call when you need them. I'm just quitting drinking too, for good this time, unlike my previous "trial runs" this year. Together we can beat this thing!:ghug3
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