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Old 01-17-2008, 08:52 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Newlywed50's Avatar

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Shocked - New Hubby Coke Addict

What does it mean when there are several one minute calls on the cell bill over and over and over again in rapid succession to the same number and then to different numbers for hours and hours? What does it mean when your husband won't answer your phone calls when he's been off work since 5:00. What am I supposed to think when, after having been caught with an 8ball last Christmas and he swears he's not using, he's still doing this? Why do I feel guilty when he gets really mad at me for checking up and questioning all this wierd stuff that doesn't make any sense? Why does he swear all those calls are to his co-workers? Why is he calling his "co-workers" at 3:00 in the morning? How come he never sleeps? How come my beautiful husband is skin and bones? Why is he acting like he hates me? Why did he tell me he would be home in a little while 2 hours ago and he's not here and won't answer his phone? Why does it always seem like he's lying, but somehow he convinces me that he isn't. I haven't seen him in two days. I don't work. I have carpel tunnel and am supposed to have my first surgery on Feb 1. We have 4 cats and a puppy. What is going to happen to them??? What is going to happen to me? I met him at my church. He was an usher and I am a choir girl. We were married last July 14th. Why is this happening? I really need answers. I need to talk to somebody who knows what these signs mean, because I'm starting to think it might be another woman also. What is going on? Do I already know or do I not want to know?
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Old 01-17-2008, 09:32 PM   #2 (permalink)

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You already know.

Sorry, but I would guess your husband is an addict. You need to decide if you love him enough to wait until he sees the light.
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Old 01-17-2008, 09:59 PM   #3 (permalink)
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IMHO he probably has an addiction problem. I would suggest posting in our friends and family of substance abusers forum. There are many there who have more experience in these types of matters than I do.
NOTE: All BB quotes are from the 1st Edition of the Big Book
Depression is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of being too strong for too long.
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Old 01-17-2008, 10:01 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Newlywed, my heart breaks for you-- this has to be terribly hard to deal with.

I wish we had actual answers to your questions. Unfortunately, I think the answers all lead back to the same place; and that your husband will likely have to come to some very real conclusion about what his priorities are.
What his decisions, and subsequent actions, <i>should</i> be are obvious, and we here at SR will hope and pray that your story has a positive end.

In the meantime, we're here if you need anything-- Advice, answers, someone to talk to.

All the best,

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Old 01-17-2008, 11:27 PM   #5 (permalink)

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If your husband is a coke addict, don't you think you would have known this from early on in your relationship? I've done coke, never was a coke addict. I've done it under 20 times in my life, but I know it is a very expensive habit, and not something you can keep under wraps very long, physically or financially. Good luck in dealing with your situation.
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Old 01-17-2008, 11:51 PM   #6 (permalink)
same planet...different world
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What C2 said.
Knowledge is knowing that tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in fruit salad.
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Old 01-18-2008, 06:43 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Cocaine is a hard drug to kick. He will need professional help. Make sure he knows that, and don't accept "I'll stop on my own" for an answer.

Best to you, Newlywed.
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