Newlywed, my heart breaks for you-- this has to be terribly hard to deal with.
I wish we had actual answers to your questions. Unfortunately, I think the answers all lead back to the same place; and that your husband will likely have to come to some very real conclusion about what his priorities are.
What his decisions, and subsequent actions, <i>should</i> be are obvious, and we here at SR will hope and pray that your story has a positive end.
In the meantime, we're here if you need anything-- Advice, answers, someone to talk to.
All the best,