LauraSFO1

I have been sober for 34 days now, and have begun telling friends and family. I didn't want to make a big announcement, but as I see them, I'm telling them-- usually when they are handing me a drink!

I don't know why I thought it would be a bigger deal- maybe because I hid my addiction pretty well and most people had no idea I was struggling with this. I emailed my brother and sister who both had little comment other than "hey that's great"- they both live far from me and I don't think they really knew my problem was so serious. My mother in law, who I see a lot, still thinks it's just because I'm on Weight Watchers- I can't seem to make her understand it's forever, not just until I lose ten pounds. A couple other good friends who know how much I drink haven't said much or asked much- I think they are worried they are losing their drinking buddy. Or, maybe they are thinking about their own drinking issues. I do have one close friend who has been sober for almost 20 years, and he has been very interested and supportive- probably because he's been there.

I guess I just expected more of a reaction. Why do you suppose that is?

Anna

I think that everybody has their own agenda, to some extent. Sometimes people don't want to see certain things. Sometimes they may question their own drinking habits. Often, they just simply don't have a clue about addiction and how difficult it is to deal with.

Focus on yourself and what you need to stay sober and you'll be fine.

Rowan

Yeah, for sure keep the focus on yourself, and on your recovery. I received many different reactions when I announced I gave up drinking:

My sister: 'You're not an alcoholic - I drink WAY more than you!' (classic)
My parents: 'We wanted to let you know that we discussed it, and have decided that you aren't an alcoholic' (denial)

As time has gone by, and they have seen the psychic change that's evolved in sobriety, they are convinced that I'm on the right path. And even if they weren't, it wouldn't really matter.

LauraSFO1

Rowan- I am just blown away by your parent's reaction! They "decided" you weren't an acoholic! Too much!

Missymae737

Hi,

When I was OUT there, everyone KNEW I had a problem...My behavior was that of a lost in space woman...

When I said I was going to live a sober life, most folks didn't believe me...I made so many promises that I did not keep...It wasn't until I was sober one month people took me serious...

Congrats on your sobriety...

gravity

Good work on the 34 days!

For the most part, my successes staying sober have received half-hearted reactions. I think this may be because: people have their own issues to deal with (my sobriety is not their priority), they don't understand alcoholism and what an accomplishment it is to quit (same people who have said "why don't you just quit?"), its uncomfortable to talk about.

That's one of the reasons I like coming here. A day sober is reason to feel good & be grateful. It seems like only someone else with a drinking problem gets this.

CarolD

Exactly why a recovery program is vital to most of us.

My non drinking parents ..who never saw me drink..thought
it was a slam on their parenting abilities when both of
their children became alcoholics in AA recovery.

My circle of friends all drank excessively...so they were
not interested in my sobriety struggles.

And I was no longer interested in their sprees.
(*sigh* 25 of them are now dead due to alcohol.)

AA meetings are where I found true friends who do
understand. We share the same goals and celebrate
every victory.
What an awesome experience!

dave47

Congrats on your sober days Laura.
I find that i don't mix much with the people i used to drink with but this has been because i transferred office 5 years ago and drank mainly at home since. I do have a few drinking buddies and they either joke that there is something wrong with me or they seem a bit uncomfortable around me. My family and other friends are not big drinkers and i think their view is that i am on a bit of a health kick for a while.
I think this is because they are not used to me being like this and also that this is something i am getting on with and don't want to make a big song and dance about it.
I think Gravity sums it up pretty well, so just carry on as you are doing fine and are appreciated here, best wishes.

Jersey Nonny

Well, there were no marching bands to "celebrate" my sobriety...reactions ranged from, "It's about time." to "You just drank a little too much."

Everyone I associated with in the bars sure didn't want me "carrying the message" to them, and it is true that many of them are dead, a lot as a direct result of alcohol abuse.

A lot of family members (my in-laws and my own children) are in some form of recovery, so they're all supportive.

Co-workers, many of whom I partied with, were supportive (for the most part).

Anyone I've become associated with in the past 28 years is probably in AA (or should be)...so, my support group is steadily growing, as my recovery progresses.