HappyGal85

Hello there everyone, as you can probably tell, I'm new

My husband thinks I'm a love addict... I know I'm a co-dependant, but I'm not sure yet about being a love addict. I won't discount it, since the first step to any recovery is to recognize your problem. In anycase, our problem has been that I've been weepy lately, although some may attribute that to having a new baby. When I cry, I feel the desire to be hugged... so I cry and hold out my arms so he will hug me. However, now that he believes I'm a love addict, he thinks that hugging me when I'm crying will only enable me, so he refuses to even hold me as I'm sobbing. I feel so abandoned and lonely... He thinks he's doing the right thing, but even if I am a love addict... I have a hard time believing it's right to deny someone affection like that (especially when he tells me he WANTS to hug me, he simply choses not to)

What do you think? =/

IO Storm

My goodness Happy...

You may just have fluctuating hormones...or "baby blues"....

I had PPD with my second and third children. I was so "in love" with my baby son I

cried all the time ....

I certainly do not think you are a love addict. And I don't think you are sick. Just make

sure you keep up with your doctor visits and keep them informed about all this.

I'd give you a big hug right now if I could.

Love,

IO

nandm

First welcome to SR and here is a big hug (((((((happygal))))).
Second congrats on the new baby.

I am not familiar with love addiction, not even sure how that would work. As humans we all need love, comfort, security, and human contact. I have heard of sex addiction but it does not sound like that is what you are referring to. You said you know you are co-dependent. Do you attend codependant anonymous meetings?

You have a lot on your plate right now with a new baby, it is not uncommon to have a lot of emotional reactions to the hormone levels returning to a normal state after childbirth. The hormones can fluctuate for quite a while after a baby is born. It might be a good idea to talk with your doctor as your symptoms may be such that your doctor would want to treat them with medication until your body normalizes.

I wish I was able to offer some advice regarding love addiction. I do know that the desire for comfort from our significant others is a part of being human. One thing you also might consider is marraige counseling, there may be issues that your husband has not addressed regarding intimacy and why he has labled you as a love addict.

Hope you are able to find solutions to what is happening in your life.

HappyGal85

Thank you IO,

It means so much to me you took the time to respond. Most people are saying I probably have baby blues. I appreciate your thought of a hug as well.

I know he loves me, I'm just trying to figure out how to convince him I'm not an addict just because I crave his affection

curliQ

What? Love addict? Crave human companionship in the emotional tumult of pregnancy, labor, and babies? Are you kidding me? He thinks that since your hormone-laden body cries and wants physical attention you are a love addict? Again, what? I have many addictions, hugging is one of the better ones. It does not represent weakness. It does not represent pain, apprehension, or fear. It represents the basic need humans have for human contact, especially when they are in pain. Maybe I am out of line and I don't know the "story" but man, having a baby requires much of mother and father to cope.

BTW, I had horrible 'baby blues' and hugging was not part of the blues. If you feel bad, consult a doc. But otherwise, what's up with your guy?

Anna

Hi HappyGal,

As others have said, being a new mother is definitely a challenge and it's a time when it's easy to forget to focus on yourself and your own well-being. Try taking a little time each day to do something nice for yourself - listen to some good music, relax in a bath, anything that will help you to feel better.

You might want to consider talking to your dr if the depression continues, but hopefully you will begin to feel better.

trakin

I agree with the others, Happy. Definitely let your doctor know about your weepiness. Especially if you aren't usually a weepy, emotional person. I know from experience that post-partum depression can lead to post-partum psychosis -- especially if the people around you are not being supportive. Be sure to try to get as much sleep as you can too. Not so easy to do with a new little one in the house, I know. But try to take care of yourself. And a "love-addict"? Is there even such a thing as that?