I just realized I'm not a slave anymore
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: San Francisco suburbs
Posts: 119
I just realized I'm not a slave anymore
I have had 27 alcohol-free days (hooray!) and this morning realized I'm no longer a slave. When I drank, I'd wake up thinking of alcohol because I usually had a hangover. And I'd vow not to drink that much again that night.
By afternoon, I had recovered and alcohol would be on my mind until it was a "respectable" time to drink--5pm. If we didn't have any wine in the house I'd get anxious and make darn sure I'd get to the grocery store!
But no more. I wake up now feeling rested and happy. I think about other things- my job, my husband, our dog, errands for the day, working out, etc. It doesn't preoccupy me anymore. I no longer feel enslaved!:bounce
By afternoon, I had recovered and alcohol would be on my mind until it was a "respectable" time to drink--5pm. If we didn't have any wine in the house I'd get anxious and make darn sure I'd get to the grocery store!
But no more. I wake up now feeling rested and happy. I think about other things- my job, my husband, our dog, errands for the day, working out, etc. It doesn't preoccupy me anymore. I no longer feel enslaved!:bounce
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Way to go on 27 days!!!
For me, it was an awesome feeling to not let any substance control me....like a new-found freedom.
Glad to hear you're doing well...keep it up, it just gets better.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
For me, it was an awesome feeling to not let any substance control me....like a new-found freedom.
Glad to hear you're doing well...keep it up, it just gets better.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: NY
Posts: 179
I just had this conversation with a friend from AA. We were talking about how much work we did to get our fix, and how stressful it was. I wake up early now and give my dog a hug, and get some coffee, ready to do what I want to do that day (not what my addictions wanted me to do). Thanks for posting!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 226
I do have to say that you must be one of the lucky ones. Everyone I know and have worked with that has your drinking history never just makes an about face and turns things around over night like you have.
The vast majority of people I know that are in your position they are just whistling in the dark to keep up their spirits. They fool themselves inwardly they knew they would give anything to have a half a dozen drinks or so and get away with it. I’m glad you not one of those people because someday some of those people will not imagine life with or without alcohol. I am one of these people alcoholics of my type are described as psychopaths and are emotionally unstable forever going on the wagon ever emerging remorseful and make many resolutions, but never a decision.
There is the type of person who is unwilling to admit that they cannot take a drink. They plan various ways of drinking. They change his brand or his environment. There is the type who always believes that after being entirely free from alcohol for a period of time he can take a drink without danger.
Then there are types entirely normal in every respect except in the effect alcohol has upon them. They are often able, intelligent, friendly people. All these, and many others, have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. Now how do we stay stoped is the real question?
Congratulations on your release from Prison and I look forward to your continued updates.
All Good Things,
The vast majority of people I know that are in your position they are just whistling in the dark to keep up their spirits. They fool themselves inwardly they knew they would give anything to have a half a dozen drinks or so and get away with it. I’m glad you not one of those people because someday some of those people will not imagine life with or without alcohol. I am one of these people alcoholics of my type are described as psychopaths and are emotionally unstable forever going on the wagon ever emerging remorseful and make many resolutions, but never a decision.
There is the type of person who is unwilling to admit that they cannot take a drink. They plan various ways of drinking. They change his brand or his environment. There is the type who always believes that after being entirely free from alcohol for a period of time he can take a drink without danger.
Then there are types entirely normal in every respect except in the effect alcohol has upon them. They are often able, intelligent, friendly people. All these, and many others, have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. Now how do we stay stoped is the real question?
Congratulations on your release from Prison and I look forward to your continued updates.
All Good Things,
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 50
Great job Laura.
I can really relate to the hangover feeling. Mines were so bad that the only way to became normal was... you guessed, keep drinking because the only other way (to stop) will mean 3 days in bed, what a waste of my life! Finally after my 10 days hospital detox and because the physical necesity was removed I was able to stay stop. One important thing I learned though, stoping was only the first and easier step.
We need after care to keep our sobriety, whichever program work for you.
AA didn't do it for me so I opted for Women for Sobriety. I have been with the program for 4 years and 2 years ago became a moderator helping the newbies the same way I was helped before. Keep up the good work. Swamijapa
I can really relate to the hangover feeling. Mines were so bad that the only way to became normal was... you guessed, keep drinking because the only other way (to stop) will mean 3 days in bed, what a waste of my life! Finally after my 10 days hospital detox and because the physical necesity was removed I was able to stay stop. One important thing I learned though, stoping was only the first and easier step.
We need after care to keep our sobriety, whichever program work for you.
AA didn't do it for me so I opted for Women for Sobriety. I have been with the program for 4 years and 2 years ago became a moderator helping the newbies the same way I was helped before. Keep up the good work. Swamijapa
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: San Francisco suburbs
Posts: 119
Treasure- please don't infer that this has been super easy, or that alcohol has been obliterated from my mind. Far from it, but it hasn't been controlling my thoughts all day long. And when I do think of it, it's more of feeling like I have power of it rather than the other way around.
Swamijapa - thanks for the post. I wanted to join a WFS group, but there aren't any in the Bay Area. Which is really surprising! The closest one, I think was down in L.A. Oh well, I have all you guys!
Swamijapa - thanks for the post. I wanted to join a WFS group, but there aren't any in the Bay Area. Which is really surprising! The closest one, I think was down in L.A. Oh well, I have all you guys!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Laura 27 days is awesome, I too remember that pink cloud early in sobriety, oh yea, I was riding high as a cloud, I had it licked! Then at about the 2 month point I found my biggest trigger.......... ANGER!!!!! I got really mad one day and my first reaction was to want to get a beer!!!! If I had of had one in front of me it would have been drank in no time, if I had seen a 7-11 or a grcery store I would have been buying a 12 pack.
Thank God I had listened to my sponsor, I had gotten phone numbers of other folks in AA and instead of finding a 7-11 or the like, I called someone who knew exactly how I felt at that instant and what I was going through then. Within a few minutes of talking to him I was just fine, the anger was gone along with that need to drink.
I started working the steps soon after that, I saw that I was still vulnerable even though I thought the urge/need to drink was gone, I thought I was free of alcohol. As I worked the steps I really found myself becomeing a better person. Due to the steps I can today say that the urge/need to drink has been totally lifted from me, I have learned to live life on lifes terms and remain totally free of the triggers that bring back that old answer to every problem I used to have..... alcohol.
Today thanks to the steps I no longer anger as easily and when I do it is no longer a rage that is over whelming for me.
Laura keep up the good work and remain ever vigilant, you may never have the urge hit you again, I thought the very same thing and if it had not been for talking to someone in the program I would have never made it past that 2 month point.
I had a guy with about 5 months call me at work several months ago, he was ready to drink, we spoke for about 4-5 minutes, the converation started off with him saying "I do not know where it came from, I have been doing great, I thought the need to drink was gone and just out of the blue it struck me so I called you." At the end of the conversation he laughed and said "Man that is weird, the urge is gone again, thanks for being there Martin."
What did I say to him? Heck I do not know, except I could totally relate and shared with him about me doing the very same thing he did when I was ready to drink, then we BS'ed a bit and ended the conversation. Funny thing, that was the first time and the last time he ever called me, I still see him at meetings though.
Thank God I had listened to my sponsor, I had gotten phone numbers of other folks in AA and instead of finding a 7-11 or the like, I called someone who knew exactly how I felt at that instant and what I was going through then. Within a few minutes of talking to him I was just fine, the anger was gone along with that need to drink.
I started working the steps soon after that, I saw that I was still vulnerable even though I thought the urge/need to drink was gone, I thought I was free of alcohol. As I worked the steps I really found myself becomeing a better person. Due to the steps I can today say that the urge/need to drink has been totally lifted from me, I have learned to live life on lifes terms and remain totally free of the triggers that bring back that old answer to every problem I used to have..... alcohol.
Today thanks to the steps I no longer anger as easily and when I do it is no longer a rage that is over whelming for me.
Laura keep up the good work and remain ever vigilant, you may never have the urge hit you again, I thought the very same thing and if it had not been for talking to someone in the program I would have never made it past that 2 month point.
I had a guy with about 5 months call me at work several months ago, he was ready to drink, we spoke for about 4-5 minutes, the converation started off with him saying "I do not know where it came from, I have been doing great, I thought the need to drink was gone and just out of the blue it struck me so I called you." At the end of the conversation he laughed and said "Man that is weird, the urge is gone again, thanks for being there Martin."
What did I say to him? Heck I do not know, except I could totally relate and shared with him about me doing the very same thing he did when I was ready to drink, then we BS'ed a bit and ended the conversation. Funny thing, that was the first time and the last time he ever called me, I still see him at meetings though.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: mostly somewhere close to insanity
Posts: 80
Laura,
I am so happy for you! Are you going to any meetings? Just curious....I just wanted to see if you had, and if so, are they working for you? Once again, great job, and keep it up!
I am so happy for you! Are you going to any meetings? Just curious....I just wanted to see if you had, and if so, are they working for you? Once again, great job, and keep it up!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: San Francisco suburbs
Posts: 119
HI Wine-Not- No, I am not in AA. I am seeing a therapist who specializes in addiction, and is a recovered alcoholic himself. It's a Rational Recovery approach. I also read sobriety-related books every day.
As far as a group setting- I wanted to find a WFS meeting, but there aren't any in my area, so you guys are my "group support"! I'm here every day even though I don't always post. I get so much support and inspiration from you all.
As far as a group setting- I wanted to find a WFS meeting, but there aren't any in my area, so you guys are my "group support"! I'm here every day even though I don't always post. I get so much support and inspiration from you all.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
