Fernando

Okay, last night I didn't get any sleep. First I drank a bottle of Black Label... then I snorted 120 dollars worth of white. I'm still wired. But I have made a decision to stop. I just don't know where to start. I don't trust myself to stick to a quitting plan... sure I have a strong desire to quit now that I'm all hung over and wired... but what about three days from now when the anxiety hits me like a bag of bricks and the impulse comes like a wave 20 feet high to go get some again.

What do I do... where do I start?

Jersey Nonny

Have you ever tried detox/rehab? It's tough to go cold turkey off alcohol alone...but, a combination, could be lethal. No way of seeing a doctor today, unless it's at the ER...and, that is always an option, if things get too rough. Do you have family/friends to stay with you while you get over the first few days? AA/NA meetings would be a good source of support, too. Now that you've made the decision, you need to follow through with some good, positive plans for a recovery program!

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR, Fernando -

I am a recovering crack addict. For me, I had to get really sick and tired of using before I quit. Jersey Nonny is right....meetings are a very good place to start. I initially got clean after being locked up for 5-1/2 months, but had to relapse for a week before I finally realized that I just didn't want that life any more.

Recovery really is something you need support for...whether you go to meetings or find it on this site or from non-using friends/family.

More people will be along, but for now, just get through today clean. Each day, you just have to figure out what you need to do THAT DAY to stay clean....don't worry about 3 days from now (though you're right to reach out in advance)

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Treasure2Find

How about flushing everything you have down the toilet I mean after all its all ending up there sooner or later. Just dump it and get some rest, get something to eat. It's Christmas and God loves you otherwise that wave would have already did you in.

All Good Things,

curliQ

Sounds like a start. You should probably talk to a doc if you're doing that much of both on a regular basis. Detox with one is hard enough on the body. You should probably have some medical monitoring. What's the point of being clean if you're dead.

If you don't want to do that.... Go find a meeting, now... .today... go...go on... go find a meeting.

CarolD

I hope you will start with an honest talk with your doctor.
You may need a medically supervised de tox.

There is healing and health to be found.
Please take action...

Blessings

Pilgrim

Hi Fernando.

Carol has good advice there. Jersey is right about rehab too. I think that's a great plan.

I couldn't stop drinking on my own either. When I decided to stop no matter what, I kept going back to it. Now I have been sober nearly 5 months and life is great. You can do this. People on this site saved my life and they can do the same for you if you are ready to take advice.

Good luck. I hope you decide to give it all you've got this time.

Airborne 38

Thanks for posting, Fernando. I'm still using (alcohol) too, and I'm really miserable today and very afraid. I don't have advice, but I do have this: I know what you're going through, and I know how tough it is.

It is clear to me that quitting and sobering will be the hardest thing I have to do in my life. And I get the impression from other people on this forum, it will also be one of the most rewarding experiences.

I'm going to keep at it, and you should too. I'll check back here to see what you've posted. I'm sending you good vibes. You deserve them!

nogard

Hi Fernando, you have started, just keep going, get rid of teh geear and get some help from your doctor and then find support that suits you.

Meanwhile keep posting.

Kevin

nodrinkingzone

Good luck guys, coming to this forum is a great start to figuring out your sobriety and how you want to progress.

If you need to chat or vent, here's the place to do it. If you want to get clean, I'd suggest reading as many of these posts as you can, and then considering whether you will need medical supervision to detox.

Good luck, and all the best from Australia right here. I know what you're going through, and making the choice to get clean is the hardest part of the journey imho.

swamijapa

Hi Fernando, I can really relate to you (with the alcohol). Before I became sober (4years now) it was almost impossible for me to stop drinking, it seemed like even the smallest amount of alcohol in my body will make me drink more and more. I felt so sick when drunk that my only way of feeling better was to ingest more alcohol other way I knew I needed 3 days in bed just to recover (not completely). After detoxing in hospital for 10 days the sensation of feeling normal, by that I mean not sick, was so great that I stuck to my guns and fought with everything I had to stay that way. Just some food for thought. Good luck. Swamijapa