weatherfreak

Well for the first time in my life I have been sober for over 90 days since I first started drinking about 20 years ago, I'm only 37. What a bizzare journey it's been. I suppose I first started drinking because it was the only think that shut my head up and gave me the courage to socialise. At the age of 17 I had no idea that I was suffering from depression, anxiety and social phobia. Sometimes I'd get so freaked out before going to a party I'd start choking from anxiety or even vomit. I finally lost the plot when I was 25 and got placed on medication for depression. Over the last 12 or so years I have been on and off medication while drinking.

About 6 weeks ago, "the black dog" (depression) and terrible anxiety returned with a vengence which really upset me because I had been feeling great since I quit drinking. No cravings etc... For the first time I had to admit that I needed medication and I'm not washing them down with booze, shock horror, they are starting to work.

I suppose this story is for all the newbies out there who, like me, suffer from mental illness and are using booze to mask it. This is the first time I have taken my crazy pills and not been ashamed about it. Stay strong everyone and the universe will take care of the rest.

Change4life

Congratulations on your over 90 days sober.

Depression, anxiety and social phobia. All the things that got me started. I went to counseling yesterday and they asked me if I was ever diagnosed as being bipolar.

They want to put me on some trial meds, but I am nervous.

What was your experience with the "crazy pills"? do they work?

Aducksdelight

Congrats on your 90 days and I am glad that you are able to find support here. I myself also suffer from depression and I used drugs to mask it. Now that I am clean I don't have anything to take me away from that reality and sometimes it is really hard but I have chosen not to use antidepressants. Good luck and keep coming back!

weatherfreak

if you're clean, give them a go, it might be a little bumpy at first but the side effects go away slowly. Look to be really honest, I'd never mix them with booze again, and as for drugs, don't even go there, street drugs and some meds will either make you really sick or kill you. Especially ones for depression or bi polar disorders.

weatherfreak

I swore black and blue I'd never ever take another AD ever again but I had to face the fact that, for now I absolutely have too. I'm not happy about it but I'm not ashamed about it anymore.

stone

Hi weatherfreak, that is great to hear! 90 days and the meds working like they should is just wonderful. I have depression too, I take Cipramil (citalprolam?) for it. Perhaps they can start working better now I am er...24 days sober (had to check lol).
Black dog, thats what Winston Churchill used to call his depression.

weatherfreak

I've taken cipramil before but honestly they actually do work soooooo much better when you don't drink on them. I'm taking Zoloft now, I think it's called Lustral in the UK

Rowan

Hi Weatherfreak,

It's so good to see you - and congratulations on your 90 days that's wonderful!

I went back on Celexa just over 2 months ago - I took myself off them for 5 months because I felt it was time. I was wrong. I very nearly drank because of the deep depression I was sliding into.

This is twice that I have stopped taking AD's in sobriety, and both times the result was the same. I accept that I need to take them. My sobriety is worth it.

I hope that you keep posting!

Rowan

parentrecovers

90 days is great! blessings, k

Dee74

good on ya WF - was wondering how you were battling on...

great to hear

D

weatherfreak

Thanks Dee it's been a bumpy ride mate

IO Storm

Weather...

Fellow clean and sober prescribed whacky pill person here...

Bipolar was hard for me to accept when I got clean and sober last year.

But when my doctor explained I most likely have had this since the birth

of my first child...it made sense to me ..the years of self medicating with..

booze..uppers..downers..and weed.

Wonder of wonders..I have 13 months clean and sober....

I am so glad you have 93 days !!!!!!!!!!

So here goes....

Yoo Hoo for W....




Love,

IO

2ala2

Hello Weather,
I can totally relate to the depression, anxiety, and social phobia. That's pretty much what got me started and fueled my active addiction. I'm 40, was using for 24-25 years (since 15-16) and totally clean for a few months. Like you, my first time ever clean. It's like I woke up from a looong foggy dream. I'm still only a teenager inside. It's like I stopped growing when I started using/drinking. It's all new to me. How do I live and deal with others sober? I'm learning, it's hard but possible. I need not do it alone. HP and my program saved my life. It is such a releife knowing that there are people like you!

Pilgrim

Yay Weather. That is so great. I haven't made 90 in a row yet. You are amazing!

IO Storm

We're rootin' for ya Steph..

indigo

That's really awesome, congratulations.

Dee74

sorry it's been bumpy mate...here's to a smoother 90 ahead

D

Missymae737

Hi,

Ninety days is great!1 Here's to ninety-one!!!

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...1&d=1185478723

weatherfreak

Pilgrim, firstly thankyou and if I can do it, anyone can, good luck for today and keep it simple

weatherfreak

Thankyou EVERYONE for all your support, I haven't been able to go to meetings lately or drop by here, because of my head space but I'm about to jump back in now that I'm stablizing on my meds. I didn't pick up which is the most important thing and I'm feeling so much better again. Thanks to everyone again, you are all such amazing, supportive people, I can't thank you all enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!