How to start??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: London, UK
Posts: 5
How to start??
Hi - hoping someone out here can help me with some advice to start recovering, if someone has been in a similar situation to me then i'd love to hear how u started getting sobre cos right now i can't see the way...
I'm 28, reasonably successful in that i went to the best university in england - cambridge, have had a few reasonable jobs since graduating, all of which ive screwed up cos i wasnt sobre until after lunchtime. Twice in my life ive had a financial windfall - ive just drunk my way thru the second of them - £20,000 in 7 months - thats an awful lot of drink. My father is an alcoholic, my auntie died of drink, my stepdad is a raging alcoholic.
Im smart enough to know that my actions are killing me and not even giving me much fun along the way, but also im addicted enough not to stop. I wake up, throw up, drink to ease the sickness, throw up, drink again and repeat until i pass out asleep.
Ive tried AA but it didnt work for me - i couldnt share cos i felt stupid - and didnt feel i related to people there. I cant stop drinking by willpower - i try that almost every day and fail.
So in the absence of that - where should i start to help myself? I must. I refuse to carry on life as an alcoholic. Its either suicide or stop, i want it to be the latter but don't know where i should begin.
Thanks for reading
Adam x
I'm 28, reasonably successful in that i went to the best university in england - cambridge, have had a few reasonable jobs since graduating, all of which ive screwed up cos i wasnt sobre until after lunchtime. Twice in my life ive had a financial windfall - ive just drunk my way thru the second of them - £20,000 in 7 months - thats an awful lot of drink. My father is an alcoholic, my auntie died of drink, my stepdad is a raging alcoholic.
Im smart enough to know that my actions are killing me and not even giving me much fun along the way, but also im addicted enough not to stop. I wake up, throw up, drink to ease the sickness, throw up, drink again and repeat until i pass out asleep.
Ive tried AA but it didnt work for me - i couldnt share cos i felt stupid - and didnt feel i related to people there. I cant stop drinking by willpower - i try that almost every day and fail.
So in the absence of that - where should i start to help myself? I must. I refuse to carry on life as an alcoholic. Its either suicide or stop, i want it to be the latter but don't know where i should begin.
Thanks for reading
Adam x
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Hi Adam,
Welcome!
Please know that you are not alone. I had the same feelings of hoplessness and frustration that you have expressed. You can stop drinking and have a good life. My suggestion is that you talk to your dr and get his advice because stopping drinking can possibly be dangerous. Don't let yourself be overwhelmed in thinking long-term. Just take each day as it comes and you can move forward.
Welcome!
Please know that you are not alone. I had the same feelings of hoplessness and frustration that you have expressed. You can stop drinking and have a good life. My suggestion is that you talk to your dr and get his advice because stopping drinking can possibly be dangerous. Don't let yourself be overwhelmed in thinking long-term. Just take each day as it comes and you can move forward.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Hi Adam..I cant offer any advice as I am still trying myself.
Just wanted to welcome you and let you know you are not alone.
This is a great board for support and info.
Just wanted to welcome you and let you know you are not alone.
This is a great board for support and info.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 113
hi adam, i had a few days where i was that down recently. I looked up alcohol treatment facilities in the phone book and looked them up on the internet, the ones in my area. Asked my doctor which one he would recommend for me if i just had to go. Its a good next to last resort to have just knowing where i'm headed if i can't do it this time around. I hope i never set foot in the place but its good to know its there.
good luck today.
good luck today.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 38
Hi Adam----
Please know that you are not alone. It was a big step to put up a post on here.
I have been sober for 2 1/2 weeks & know that there will be struggles ahead.
I have a family history with drinking as well. My brothers choose not to drink & now here I came along. It's never too late to begin a sober life. Just the little bit I have been sober, is wonderful. I had all the time in the world to drink, now it is time to do functional things & truly enjoy my life. I started exercising (biking, weights, got a check-up....) & found it to be very helpful with controlling my mind racing around.
I am starting to go to meetings. Please don't be so hard on yourself. The people in the meetings felt just like we all did at first. Take a deep breathe & go & just listen if like.
Biggest part for me was admitting. Just that alone was a huge weight lifted. Makes my start of recovery feel good.
I just have to stay honest & things WILL get better.
Check out several & see which one calls to you. I was scared beyond belief to go to the first meeting. I decided that it is time to be honest & work on my sobriety.
If you say that you were/are successful in your career path, imagine what will happen when you work on a successful recovery?! The sky is the limit.
The big thing for me is to admit & own up to my past...then leave it in the past!! Kind of cleansing.
Move forward. Know that you are a good person.
It's OK to be sober.....the *fun* doesn't stop.
Post any thoughts & feelings on here. The little bit that I have been on here has been very helpful to me.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE ADAM.
Please know that you are not alone. It was a big step to put up a post on here.
I have been sober for 2 1/2 weeks & know that there will be struggles ahead.
I have a family history with drinking as well. My brothers choose not to drink & now here I came along. It's never too late to begin a sober life. Just the little bit I have been sober, is wonderful. I had all the time in the world to drink, now it is time to do functional things & truly enjoy my life. I started exercising (biking, weights, got a check-up....) & found it to be very helpful with controlling my mind racing around.
I am starting to go to meetings. Please don't be so hard on yourself. The people in the meetings felt just like we all did at first. Take a deep breathe & go & just listen if like.
Biggest part for me was admitting. Just that alone was a huge weight lifted. Makes my start of recovery feel good.
I just have to stay honest & things WILL get better.
Check out several & see which one calls to you. I was scared beyond belief to go to the first meeting. I decided that it is time to be honest & work on my sobriety.
If you say that you were/are successful in your career path, imagine what will happen when you work on a successful recovery?! The sky is the limit.
The big thing for me is to admit & own up to my past...then leave it in the past!! Kind of cleansing.
Move forward. Know that you are a good person.
It's OK to be sober.....the *fun* doesn't stop.
Post any thoughts & feelings on here. The little bit that I have been on here has been very helpful to me.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE ADAM.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Southwest PA USA
Posts: 339
Welcome, Adam.
I'm personally fond of the AA program myself. You say you've tried AA? Well, why not try again? Give it more than a couple of meetings. You may think that you're having trouble relating to them, but remember that everyone is there for the same reason- to arrest this progressive and usually fatal illness we share.
Keep posting here, and let us know how things are going. There are a lot of very caring and supportative people here.
Blessings to you, my friend.
BHJ
I'm personally fond of the AA program myself. You say you've tried AA? Well, why not try again? Give it more than a couple of meetings. You may think that you're having trouble relating to them, but remember that everyone is there for the same reason- to arrest this progressive and usually fatal illness we share.
Keep posting here, and let us know how things are going. There are a lot of very caring and supportative people here.
Blessings to you, my friend.
BHJ
No more merlot, more mamma
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Hills, Ct
Posts: 2,139
Hi Adam,
Please see your doctor, be honest with him, and follow his suggestions.
Keep trying different AA meetings. I know that you are probably thinking, blah blah blah right now, but really, each meeting has its own "vibe" and there will be one that you feel comfy in. Just go and listen.
Glad that you are here!
Karen
Please see your doctor, be honest with him, and follow his suggestions.
Keep trying different AA meetings. I know that you are probably thinking, blah blah blah right now, but really, each meeting has its own "vibe" and there will be one that you feel comfy in. Just go and listen.
Glad that you are here!
Karen
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Adam,
I'm glad you posted. For me, it was suicide or keep drinking, so I understand.
I won't try to convince you to attend AA, I'll only say that it's what finally worked for me. Whatever you decide, I hope that you continue to read and post here. This is a wonderful recovery community, and we are grateful to have you with us.
Rowan
I'm glad you posted. For me, it was suicide or keep drinking, so I understand.
I won't try to convince you to attend AA, I'll only say that it's what finally worked for me. Whatever you decide, I hope that you continue to read and post here. This is a wonderful recovery community, and we are grateful to have you with us.
Rowan
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Central California
Posts: 246
Welcome
Hi Adam, glad to have you here with us. This is a great forum filled with kind and understanding people. The way I finally got sober was to admit I was powerless over alcohol and then pray to God for help. There was no way I could have quit drinking on my own; I was too addicted. AA has also been a great help to me. I always feel energized after attending a meeting. Please give AA another try. Sending prayers your way! 
GH
GH
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: www.ericwhitfieldart.com
Posts: 114
Hello and WELCOME!!!
First of all...don't feel bad that you haven't found what works. Perhaps the reason is that you are seeking external solutions to an internal problem (just a thought) - If you decide AA isn't for you...no sweat. AA is certainly not synonymous with recovery. what is crucial, however, is that you do SOMETHING. Based on your post, you agree with that statement. SOoooo...what to do...umm...well, Something that has worked for me over the past 11 years and continues to work today, is that sticking to basic, broad ideas, I set a goal. I ask myself what do i need to be today in order to successfully navigate through my day? (notice I said TODAY). I may decide that based on today's schedule, I need to be honest, confident, assertive and SOBER. By making this decision each morning, I have brought my goals to my immediate awareness so I can draw upon it more quickly as needed throughout the day. As I approach each situation, each conversation, etc...I ask myself "is this in support of my goal today?" If the answer is "yes" , I have empowered my "sober self" and I continue on to the next thing remembering that my ONLY responsibility is the moment in which I currently find myself. If the answer is "no" than I make a decision to tweak my beavior/reaction to support my goal, or I decide to go against my goal in support of my "addictive self". Keep in mind that when I first started this, I would write ONE word on a scrap of paper in the morning as I made my coffee. For example: "Assertive" - as mentioned earlier, this brings the concept of assertiveness to my awareness and as an added bonus, everytime I put my hand in my pocket throughout the day..I feel that paper and am reminded of my goal. At the end of the day...when emptying my pockets onto my dresser, if I was happy with where I stood with regard to having been assertive, the paper hits the trash. If I am not happy with my performance, the paper goes back in my pocket in the morning.
It works for me and it may work for you as well. This helps you keep the focus on you and on the present. As you work on each moment with full awareness, you will find that these moments add up to life and suddenly you arebecoming the sober self you longed to be.
Sorry for the lengthy post. I truly hope this is helpful.
First of all...don't feel bad that you haven't found what works. Perhaps the reason is that you are seeking external solutions to an internal problem (just a thought) - If you decide AA isn't for you...no sweat. AA is certainly not synonymous with recovery. what is crucial, however, is that you do SOMETHING. Based on your post, you agree with that statement. SOoooo...what to do...umm...well, Something that has worked for me over the past 11 years and continues to work today, is that sticking to basic, broad ideas, I set a goal. I ask myself what do i need to be today in order to successfully navigate through my day? (notice I said TODAY). I may decide that based on today's schedule, I need to be honest, confident, assertive and SOBER. By making this decision each morning, I have brought my goals to my immediate awareness so I can draw upon it more quickly as needed throughout the day. As I approach each situation, each conversation, etc...I ask myself "is this in support of my goal today?" If the answer is "yes" , I have empowered my "sober self" and I continue on to the next thing remembering that my ONLY responsibility is the moment in which I currently find myself. If the answer is "no" than I make a decision to tweak my beavior/reaction to support my goal, or I decide to go against my goal in support of my "addictive self". Keep in mind that when I first started this, I would write ONE word on a scrap of paper in the morning as I made my coffee. For example: "Assertive" - as mentioned earlier, this brings the concept of assertiveness to my awareness and as an added bonus, everytime I put my hand in my pocket throughout the day..I feel that paper and am reminded of my goal. At the end of the day...when emptying my pockets onto my dresser, if I was happy with where I stood with regard to having been assertive, the paper hits the trash. If I am not happy with my performance, the paper goes back in my pocket in the morning.
It works for me and it may work for you as well. This helps you keep the focus on you and on the present. As you work on each moment with full awareness, you will find that these moments add up to life and suddenly you arebecoming the sober self you longed to be.
Sorry for the lengthy post. I truly hope this is helpful.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: London, UK
Posts: 5
Thankyou all for your kind words and helpful advice, its encouraging to know that people are out there - and your posting a reply is very helpful - just to know that im not the only person to go thru this is encouraging by itself. I took the step today of calling my local substance abuse help centre. They run a drop in centre on Fridays so im gonna go there as the next step. They should be able to fix me up on some sort of detox programme, although the waiting list is a few weeks. If u dont all mind i shall post about how it goes Friday. Adam
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
