Trying Real Hard
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 38
Trying Real Hard
Hello everybody---
My name is Vance. I have not had a drink since July 6th. Not used pot for even longer.
On July 5th I got my 3rd OWI. I am ashamed of my choice, but am thankful nobody got hurt or a wrecked vehicle. I am sick of the trouble that follows me when I choose to use. I have been in a court ordered treatment program before & did indeed see some things differently. I honestly went in with an open mind. My problem was, I had a comfort period & played games with myself. I did drink socially for a time, then I started to drink daily. With friends & by myself. I'm 35 & married. It is time to grow up.
I have it strong in my head that it is time to stop. My wife was let down, but said that she can feel that this is truly "it". I was soooo scared to tell her of my latest choices.
I sat back & saw that EVERYBODY & EVERYTHING revolved around drinking. Sickening.
After talking to my wife, I had a certain happiness. We talked about me getting different hobbies & possibly losing friends, if need be. After talking to her, I just wanted to get my punishment over with & PROGRESS. In my last treatment, people treated it as a joke & actually made negative connections! It was weird to see them one way in class & totally the opposite during breaks. It was like, as long you told the teachers what they wanted to hear & pee clean, then you were out the door with NO follow up. I am bracing to go through this again.
This is the longest that I have went without drinking in 18 years. So far, I have been just clenching my fists & getting through the day. Some days are fine & others I get little panic attacks. I have attended AA meetings before & am not sure what I feel.
Might want to check out other suggestions from everybody.
I can honestly say that I do not believe that I would have stopped drinking, if it wasn't for this last OWI. I am looking at it like a mini-blessing. I am trying!!!!!
Thank you for listening.
Vance
My name is Vance. I have not had a drink since July 6th. Not used pot for even longer.
On July 5th I got my 3rd OWI. I am ashamed of my choice, but am thankful nobody got hurt or a wrecked vehicle. I am sick of the trouble that follows me when I choose to use. I have been in a court ordered treatment program before & did indeed see some things differently. I honestly went in with an open mind. My problem was, I had a comfort period & played games with myself. I did drink socially for a time, then I started to drink daily. With friends & by myself. I'm 35 & married. It is time to grow up.
I have it strong in my head that it is time to stop. My wife was let down, but said that she can feel that this is truly "it". I was soooo scared to tell her of my latest choices.
I sat back & saw that EVERYBODY & EVERYTHING revolved around drinking. Sickening.
After talking to my wife, I had a certain happiness. We talked about me getting different hobbies & possibly losing friends, if need be. After talking to her, I just wanted to get my punishment over with & PROGRESS. In my last treatment, people treated it as a joke & actually made negative connections! It was weird to see them one way in class & totally the opposite during breaks. It was like, as long you told the teachers what they wanted to hear & pee clean, then you were out the door with NO follow up. I am bracing to go through this again.
This is the longest that I have went without drinking in 18 years. So far, I have been just clenching my fists & getting through the day. Some days are fine & others I get little panic attacks. I have attended AA meetings before & am not sure what I feel.
Might want to check out other suggestions from everybody.
I can honestly say that I do not believe that I would have stopped drinking, if it wasn't for this last OWI. I am looking at it like a mini-blessing. I am trying!!!!!
Thank you for listening.
Vance
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Glad you are here seeking a healthier
sober life...
Here is a link to check on recovery programs
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html
AA works great for me.
Blessings to you and your family
sober life...
Here is a link to check on recovery programs
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html
AA works great for me.
Blessings to you and your family
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
Welcome!
You know that not everybody who will be in court ordered treatment wants to get better. That's okay. You do whatever you need to do in order to stay sober. This can be a great opportunity for you, Vance.
You know that not everybody who will be in court ordered treatment wants to get better. That's okay. You do whatever you need to do in order to stay sober. This can be a great opportunity for you, Vance.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 38
I sat & sat & sat.........then said, what the heck.
Go ahead & type a simple message. I was scared.
You guys made me feel so good with your responses! THANK YOU!
A lot of valid points were made.
I am not 100% against AA. I was just wondering about other possibilities. Maybe something else would be more suited for me?!
I can see in hind sight where I went wrong.
I was ordered to be at meetings for this & meetings for that.......then I was finally clear to make my choices. I chose to take a break from many months of meetings. This was where I hit that comfort zone.
Thank you again for a sincere welcome. It meant a lot to me.
V----
Go ahead & type a simple message. I was scared.
You guys made me feel so good with your responses! THANK YOU!
A lot of valid points were made.
I am not 100% against AA. I was just wondering about other possibilities. Maybe something else would be more suited for me?!
I can see in hind sight where I went wrong.
I was ordered to be at meetings for this & meetings for that.......then I was finally clear to make my choices. I chose to take a break from many months of meetings. This was where I hit that comfort zone.
Thank you again for a sincere welcome. It meant a lot to me.
V----
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 38
Thanks Stone!
Usually it is quick one-liners or a simple statement that speaks loud & clear to me.
Gets me to think & gives me a lift.
After looking around on here, I see a lot of them!
Very encouraging.
Usually it is quick one-liners or a simple statement that speaks loud & clear to me.
Gets me to think & gives me a lift.
After looking around on here, I see a lot of them!
Very encouraging.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 38
Well, I got done working the first day of my 3rd shift.
I work at a mill doing the 7 day southern swing.
Going on day 13!! I'm feeling OK this morning.
Here is a quick funny story................
I have to be to work by 10:30 pm. I leave my house at 10:10 pm.
Well, my wife said she was going to bed. This was at 9 pm.
I went in & wished her a good night & finished my coffee.
Out the door I went. Again this was around 9:10 pm. I was thinking it's 10:10 pm.
I was on here earlier posting back to the nice welcome messages & feeling GREAT!
I took a different route to work & got stopped by a train. I was thinking I was going to be late. I was calm & I pulled into work not seeing anybodies car from my shift.
I get out of my truck & locked it up.
Then WHAMMMMM!!!!!!
I was in such a good mood after being on here, that I went to work an hour EARLY!!
That has never happened. I got in my truck & had a good laugh, then went to a nearby park & meditated a little.
Thought I would share........hope this thing gets better!! HA!
It's my wifes Birthday today---I know today will be good.
I work at a mill doing the 7 day southern swing.
Going on day 13!! I'm feeling OK this morning.
Here is a quick funny story................
I have to be to work by 10:30 pm. I leave my house at 10:10 pm.
Well, my wife said she was going to bed. This was at 9 pm.
I went in & wished her a good night & finished my coffee.
Out the door I went. Again this was around 9:10 pm. I was thinking it's 10:10 pm.
I was on here earlier posting back to the nice welcome messages & feeling GREAT!
I took a different route to work & got stopped by a train. I was thinking I was going to be late. I was calm & I pulled into work not seeing anybodies car from my shift.
I get out of my truck & locked it up.
Then WHAMMMMM!!!!!!
I was in such a good mood after being on here, that I went to work an hour EARLY!!
That has never happened. I got in my truck & had a good laugh, then went to a nearby park & meditated a little.
Thought I would share........hope this thing gets better!! HA!
It's my wifes Birthday today---I know today will be good.
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Vance-
It sounds like you have the right attitude. Yes, it is time to grow up. You don't have to clinch your fist, let go instead; relax, breathe, feel what you think you cannot allow yourself to feel, breathe thru it, let yourself process, be gentle, be amazed, you can do this...
It sounds like you have the right attitude. Yes, it is time to grow up. You don't have to clinch your fist, let go instead; relax, breathe, feel what you think you cannot allow yourself to feel, breathe thru it, let yourself process, be gentle, be amazed, you can do this...
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