Could you please explain sobriety to me?
dum vita est spes est
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: vita secundum nex
Posts: 287
Could you please explain sobriety to me?
Hi gang,
I should probably be posting here more often because I don't know much about recovery but a pretty good amount about relapse.
I may have overstepped my bounds in another thread regarding sobriety and set a couple people (maybe more who knows) off, so for that I apologize. I was only offering my opinion to the OP.
I'm on day five of what I thought was considered sobriety, not drinking or using controlled substances. But what IS sobriety? I see so many interpretations on this site of what it means to be clean and/or sober (are the two different?)
I see a few loose "definitions" (by definition, I mean my interpretation) of sobriety around here:
1. Theological - No pychoactive substances, including coffee or nicotine.
2. Medical - No alcohol or illicit drugs, prescriptions taken as prescribed are considered not only okay, but encouraged.
3. Societal - As long as you aren't using your drug of choice and still functioning in society (home, work, and play)
4. Personal - You define sobriety however you need to in order to best kick your addiction.
5. Zen - If you aren't as calm as a Hindu cow at all times, despite your not using psychoactive substances, you've lost your sobriety.
So please help me understand this phase of recovery. What in the hell is sobriety?
Thanks,
PR
I should probably be posting here more often because I don't know much about recovery but a pretty good amount about relapse.
I may have overstepped my bounds in another thread regarding sobriety and set a couple people (maybe more who knows) off, so for that I apologize. I was only offering my opinion to the OP.
I'm on day five of what I thought was considered sobriety, not drinking or using controlled substances. But what IS sobriety? I see so many interpretations on this site of what it means to be clean and/or sober (are the two different?)
I see a few loose "definitions" (by definition, I mean my interpretation) of sobriety around here:
1. Theological - No pychoactive substances, including coffee or nicotine.
2. Medical - No alcohol or illicit drugs, prescriptions taken as prescribed are considered not only okay, but encouraged.
3. Societal - As long as you aren't using your drug of choice and still functioning in society (home, work, and play)
4. Personal - You define sobriety however you need to in order to best kick your addiction.
5. Zen - If you aren't as calm as a Hindu cow at all times, despite your not using psychoactive substances, you've lost your sobriety.
So please help me understand this phase of recovery. What in the hell is sobriety?
Thanks,
PR
Member
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Life Is Short
Posts: 2,017
Hi PurpleReign.....
To me sobriety is the a new way of life...a much happier way of life..a life without regrets self loathing and shame...it's an inner peace....that is worth putting every effort you can to get earn your sobriety.
You ask what the hell sobriety is? It's no longer living in hell is what it is.
That's my thought on it, I hope it helps.
To me sobriety is the a new way of life...a much happier way of life..a life without regrets self loathing and shame...it's an inner peace....that is worth putting every effort you can to get earn your sobriety.
You ask what the hell sobriety is? It's no longer living in hell is what it is.
That's my thought on it, I hope it helps.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi PR,
I'll try to simplify - I can only share my own experience.
My drugs of choice were alcohol and pills (benzos, percs, whatever). I haven't had any alcohol in 18 months, so I am sober. I took a few sleeping pills at once back in July, so changed my sobriety date (a personal decision) - I will have a year clean next month.
I go to AA, and I work the 12-steps. I couldn't do this stuff on my own - I have too many issues (depression, shame, regret) that working the steps help me with.
I take antidepressants for my depression. I was off them for 5 months but couldn't manage - thoughts of suicide etc - so went back on them.
I ask God to direct my thinking every morning, and there are prayers that I recite to help me to do this. I write a gratitude list most nights.
I quit smoking 4 years ago. I still drink coffee.
Bottom line for me is NO booze and NO pills (the kind that make me loopy).
So - that's it for me - thanks PR.
I'll try to simplify - I can only share my own experience.
My drugs of choice were alcohol and pills (benzos, percs, whatever). I haven't had any alcohol in 18 months, so I am sober. I took a few sleeping pills at once back in July, so changed my sobriety date (a personal decision) - I will have a year clean next month.
I go to AA, and I work the 12-steps. I couldn't do this stuff on my own - I have too many issues (depression, shame, regret) that working the steps help me with.
I take antidepressants for my depression. I was off them for 5 months but couldn't manage - thoughts of suicide etc - so went back on them.
I ask God to direct my thinking every morning, and there are prayers that I recite to help me to do this. I write a gratitude list most nights.
I quit smoking 4 years ago. I still drink coffee.
Bottom line for me is NO booze and NO pills (the kind that make me loopy).
So - that's it for me - thanks PR.
~Author of My Life~
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,796
I can only answer for me. But I KNOW when I am at peace. I KNOW when what I am doing is for my good, and when it is blocking growth and health. We instinctively know many times I believe. It is harder at first to be able to hear our inner voice, totally understandable. Everythign is confusing and blurry at first. we are sick.
I don't think anyone CAN answer for another what THEIR opinion/belief system is. I would maybe start writing a journal, do some research.
Ones previous and current spiritual/religious teachings, what one was raised to believe. It all plays a part in forming our opinions.
I was raised in a very sick religious home. Beat if I was tooo nervous to leave the house for church, chastised if anything was placed atop Bible. Told I was sick because I didn't know Jesus and all he supposdly had done for me.
I began thinking for myself a few years ago...and thankfully have found peace....within me....I always looked outward/upward for help, when all along everythign I needed was INSIDE.
It was scary, but confronting all my belief systems and feelings and attitudes toward religion, addiction, mental health.........and other issues has helped me be sane, sober and happy.
I wish you luck. Don't worry about pissing off someone with your opinions. I can't stand when someone ALWAYS agrees with me!! LOL.....These are passionate, serious, life changing,and even life-ending problems we struggle with.
I say think for yourself, ask others yes, but at the end of the day trust YOUR heart and your gut. It has never failed me........
I don't think anyone CAN answer for another what THEIR opinion/belief system is. I would maybe start writing a journal, do some research.
Ones previous and current spiritual/religious teachings, what one was raised to believe. It all plays a part in forming our opinions.
I was raised in a very sick religious home. Beat if I was tooo nervous to leave the house for church, chastised if anything was placed atop Bible. Told I was sick because I didn't know Jesus and all he supposdly had done for me.
I began thinking for myself a few years ago...and thankfully have found peace....within me....I always looked outward/upward for help, when all along everythign I needed was INSIDE.
It was scary, but confronting all my belief systems and feelings and attitudes toward religion, addiction, mental health.........and other issues has helped me be sane, sober and happy.
I wish you luck. Don't worry about pissing off someone with your opinions. I can't stand when someone ALWAYS agrees with me!! LOL.....These are passionate, serious, life changing,and even life-ending problems we struggle with.
I say think for yourself, ask others yes, but at the end of the day trust YOUR heart and your gut. It has never failed me........
Member
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Bristol TN/VA
Posts: 12,431
Thanks Purple Reighn....I wish I would not have posted on that thread either.
And I really believe you about that reaction to Ambien. Some people it just doesn't affect that way.
Time and Newsweek awhile back had several articles about people being in blackouts on it and others similar....driving and all sorts of things they weren't aware of.
Just because I am prescribed something doesn't mean it is safe for me.....I have a whole long list of I won't take this and I won't take that.
Now, let me bow out of what is none of my business...the people above me have spoken wisely.
And I really believe you about that reaction to Ambien. Some people it just doesn't affect that way.
Time and Newsweek awhile back had several articles about people being in blackouts on it and others similar....driving and all sorts of things they weren't aware of.
Just because I am prescribed something doesn't mean it is safe for me.....I have a whole long list of I won't take this and I won't take that.
Now, let me bow out of what is none of my business...the people above me have spoken wisely.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Central California
Posts: 246
Sobriety
Hi PR, for me sobriety is not drinking alcohol in any form. I'm 7 days sober as of today, going to AA meetings and I could not have stopped drinking without God's help. This is the longest I have gone without a drink in 20+ years. And I feel GREAT!
~Author of My Life~
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Doing what I thought I couldn't....
Posts: 4,796
I was just thinking.
If I were to have thought about answering this question several years ago?
Well, I would told you in no uncertain terms that sobriety and recovery were the TWO most rotten, crazy, insane things one could ever do..........it was something 'others' did, NOT me..........!!
Funny how we can change! LOL.........
If I were to have thought about answering this question several years ago?
Well, I would told you in no uncertain terms that sobriety and recovery were the TWO most rotten, crazy, insane things one could ever do..........it was something 'others' did, NOT me..........!!
Funny how we can change! LOL.........
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Sobriety for me is not only not drinking, but reexamining and reconfiguring my life and attitudes so that there is no 'place' for drinking anymore and no need to.
D
and I'm with 2Stop...don't worry about annoying other people with opinions - this is a public forum for a reason ! diff'rent strokes...!
D
and I'm with 2Stop...don't worry about annoying other people with opinions - this is a public forum for a reason ! diff'rent strokes...!
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
I guess "Personal - You define sobriety however you need to in order to best kick your addiction" fits my "personal" defination of sobriety the best. I've never really thought much about it, but it is a very interesting question that, as you see, generates a number of different opinions.
BTW, if by "I may have overstepped my bounds in another thread regarding sobriety and set a couple people (maybe more who knows) off" you mean, caused them to relapse, I don't feel that is your responsibility. Anybody who uses something they read on a recovery web site as an excuse to relapse has to take that responsibility on their shoulders. Again, just my opinion. Take care.
BTW, if by "I may have overstepped my bounds in another thread regarding sobriety and set a couple people (maybe more who knows) off" you mean, caused them to relapse, I don't feel that is your responsibility. Anybody who uses something they read on a recovery web site as an excuse to relapse has to take that responsibility on their shoulders. Again, just my opinion. Take care.
dum vita est spes est
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: vita secundum nex
Posts: 287
Hmm,
I've thought long and hard about my decision and it's more or less come to this for me...
Sobriety is something sacred that really can't be defined, much like our HP, perhaps because it's the essence of our HP? People defend it with all they have - and rightfully so, it's our portal to a connection that the normies don't understand. I really do believe we are, as addicts and alcoholics, on the front line of spiritual battle - it's been assigned to us to rise above and protect.
I listed a bunch of options and not one was challeneged or agreed with - with the exception of Tyler (thank you Tyler for your realization of the pattern.) Everyone seems to have their own definition of sobriey, which is pretty neat if you think about it and I think it no accident.
I really need to get some face to face AA time in, get a sponsor, and work the steps - there just doesn't seem to be another way for me. With that being said, I look forward to giving you my progress at 90 days and I will be praying for all of you! Thank you for all you've done and God, G*d, g^d, HP, or Hewlett Packard bless all of us.
Peace,
PR
I've thought long and hard about my decision and it's more or less come to this for me...
Sobriety is something sacred that really can't be defined, much like our HP, perhaps because it's the essence of our HP? People defend it with all they have - and rightfully so, it's our portal to a connection that the normies don't understand. I really do believe we are, as addicts and alcoholics, on the front line of spiritual battle - it's been assigned to us to rise above and protect.
I listed a bunch of options and not one was challeneged or agreed with - with the exception of Tyler (thank you Tyler for your realization of the pattern.) Everyone seems to have their own definition of sobriey, which is pretty neat if you think about it and I think it no accident.
I really need to get some face to face AA time in, get a sponsor, and work the steps - there just doesn't seem to be another way for me. With that being said, I look forward to giving you my progress at 90 days and I will be praying for all of you! Thank you for all you've done and God, G*d, g^d, HP, or Hewlett Packard bless all of us.
Peace,
PR
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
it saids..no mind altering or mood changing substance...
as far as the the outside source of chemicle..
So i need to get that bad boy down pack
or do the first things first...
learn how to crawl before i can walk
don't pick up no matter what..
as for the inner chemicle or emotions..
well...since I ain't numb out of mind freanken mind anymore,
obvisouely i'm going to feel alot of emotional
bascially if i denial my feelings or numb myself out again..i can do that
without injecting outside chemicles..therefore drug and alcohol abuse
is just the symptom of my deeper problems or an extension of it..
I'm still in denial.
Makesense yet ???
In other words courage is not with fears..if i didn't feel all those
feelings or fears...it wouldn't be courage would it ?
makesense why people get all f-up and act brave...
Key word...act, it's not real bravey..how can it be if you're freaken numb ?
Face everything and recover....face your fears....embrace your pain
make sense yet ?
If i live a shelter life singing cumbaya all the time..
then if I go into town and see someone kill a bird or eat a chicken,
I might go into schock..becuase I became too damn sentitive
on the other hand..anger, self pity, complain...our brain produce
these chemicle naturally so they are just as addictive..
notice how some people just like to complain nomatter what
or have a negtive attittude...it's just a chemicle thing.
creating situations or getting into an argument is all that is feeding
an addiction..doing it all of the time.
if I get mad all of the time..I might become too damn insensitve..
Notice..the three sides of the triangle or the diamond..
BALANCE...
as in some belief system...take the middle path..
soberiety is accepting all of me..the good, the bad, and the ugly
and loving myself...The more I do this..The more I learned
to have compassion , tolerance, patient with myself..
I have a possitive attitute about it all..
As i get cleaer and clearer..i relize we are all humans before
we are alki,codi hendu, chirstains..ect
I treat other people as i would treat myself, with the love,
compassion, understanding...
GOODWILL..notice this is on the foundation of most recovery program
I can't give what i don't have...makesense yet ?
i don't live in missery anymore...while i might feel bad or feel like
jumping becuase I'm happy...this too shall pass....
I have a deep sense of joy and peace in me as life changes.
you know..that something that was missing inside of me
that emptiness i felt all those years before i came into recovery
I no longer feel the emptiness inside of me...
the difference between misery and soberiety..make sense yet ?
as far as the the outside source of chemicle..
So i need to get that bad boy down pack
or do the first things first...
learn how to crawl before i can walk
don't pick up no matter what..
as for the inner chemicle or emotions..
well...since I ain't numb out of mind freanken mind anymore,
obvisouely i'm going to feel alot of emotional
bascially if i denial my feelings or numb myself out again..i can do that
without injecting outside chemicles..therefore drug and alcohol abuse
is just the symptom of my deeper problems or an extension of it..
I'm still in denial.
Makesense yet ???
In other words courage is not with fears..if i didn't feel all those
feelings or fears...it wouldn't be courage would it ?
makesense why people get all f-up and act brave...
Key word...act, it's not real bravey..how can it be if you're freaken numb ?
Face everything and recover....face your fears....embrace your pain
make sense yet ?
If i live a shelter life singing cumbaya all the time..
then if I go into town and see someone kill a bird or eat a chicken,
I might go into schock..becuase I became too damn sentitive
on the other hand..anger, self pity, complain...our brain produce
these chemicle naturally so they are just as addictive..
notice how some people just like to complain nomatter what
or have a negtive attittude...it's just a chemicle thing.
creating situations or getting into an argument is all that is feeding
an addiction..doing it all of the time.
if I get mad all of the time..I might become too damn insensitve..
Notice..the three sides of the triangle or the diamond..
BALANCE...
as in some belief system...take the middle path..
soberiety is accepting all of me..the good, the bad, and the ugly
and loving myself...The more I do this..The more I learned
to have compassion , tolerance, patient with myself..
I have a possitive attitute about it all..
As i get cleaer and clearer..i relize we are all humans before
we are alki,codi hendu, chirstains..ect
I treat other people as i would treat myself, with the love,
compassion, understanding...
GOODWILL..notice this is on the foundation of most recovery program
I can't give what i don't have...makesense yet ?
i don't live in missery anymore...while i might feel bad or feel like
jumping becuase I'm happy...this too shall pass....
I have a deep sense of joy and peace in me as life changes.
you know..that something that was missing inside of me
that emptiness i felt all those years before i came into recovery
I no longer feel the emptiness inside of me...
the difference between misery and soberiety..make sense yet ?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 294
My definition of sobriety is pretty unoriginal. To me, it is freedom from the obsession and compulsion to drink. I'm new to recovery, but from what I can tell, I think recovery is an ongoing process, one that has no end point; essentially, it is striving to improve the quality of your life, to do the next right thing, to learn from you mistakes, and a whole lot more.
I know I have a lot to learn and I don't doubt that my definitions for sobriety and recovery will change with time.
As I often suspect about my posts, many of you old timers will read this and chuckle to yourselves, thinking "Man, this kid's got a lot to learn." I agree. If I know anything about sobriety, recovery, and AA, it's that I know next to nothing about sobriety, recovery and AA.
I know I have a lot to learn and I don't doubt that my definitions for sobriety and recovery will change with time.
As I often suspect about my posts, many of you old timers will read this and chuckle to yourselves, thinking "Man, this kid's got a lot to learn." I agree. If I know anything about sobriety, recovery, and AA, it's that I know next to nothing about sobriety, recovery and AA.
Not all better, getting better
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Beautiful Inner Banks of NC
Posts: 1,702
Originally Posted by PurpleReign 
Thank you for all you've done and God, G*d, g^d, HP, or Hewlett Packard bless all of us.
Peace,
PR
Peace,
PR
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: kansas
Posts: 18
my definition for sobriety is not drinking or drugging. recovery to me is sobriety and an acceptance of it, being happy and living a productive life, and i cant wait to get into recovery!!! blessings to you
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Fluttering About
Posts: 3,760
HP for higher power for me was the Highway Patrol (lol)
I stopped drinking in Sep of '85 but I did not know what they meant by clean...Take a shower, wear clean underwear...[lol] it was not until decenmber the fog cleared enough that I figured out I had to get rid of teh pills and other drugs...My choice to change my day of celebration to Dec 13th..The day iwas free of all mind altering chemicals
Today i am free of "chemical peace of mind"
Sobriety is sacred...Absolutely!!! Working the steps is an excellant idea...Pls use discretion when choosing a sponsor..[Suggestion]
This is a way of life that is new...even foreigh to many of us. A new design for living based on spiritual principles..
Wonderful thread...A wealth of responses that I thoroughly enjoyed reading.
So much wonderful experience strenght and hope
ewe can do this ...Yuop can do this
trhank you for this thread..absolutely wonderful!! I have to try to remember this one to come back often and read more..
I am still teachable.....YES!!
I stopped drinking in Sep of '85 but I did not know what they meant by clean...Take a shower, wear clean underwear...[lol] it was not until decenmber the fog cleared enough that I figured out I had to get rid of teh pills and other drugs...My choice to change my day of celebration to Dec 13th..The day iwas free of all mind altering chemicals
Today i am free of "chemical peace of mind"
Sobriety is sacred...Absolutely!!! Working the steps is an excellant idea...Pls use discretion when choosing a sponsor..[Suggestion]
This is a way of life that is new...even foreigh to many of us. A new design for living based on spiritual principles..
Wonderful thread...A wealth of responses that I thoroughly enjoyed reading.
So much wonderful experience strenght and hope
ewe can do this ...Yuop can do this
trhank you for this thread..absolutely wonderful!! I have to try to remember this one to come back often and read more..
I am still teachable.....YES!!
dum vita est spes est
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: vita secundum nex
Posts: 287
Sobriety and the argument of a disease, habituation, and imprinting...when it comes to addiction those words come to mind for me. (Yeah, I laughed - I'm going to hell, what else is new?)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hwT7VwQv5s
PR
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4hwT7VwQv5s
PR
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
