TOPIC: Do You Recall When U Were Drunk or Stoned? Where Were U? How Bad Was It?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
TOPIC: Do You Recall When U Were Drunk or Stoned? Where Were U? How Bad Was It?
Hi. My Name is Sharon and I'm An Alcoholic.
By the Grace of my HP and people like
you here in SR I havent had a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that and u I am truely grateful.
Topic:
Do you recall when u were drunk or
stoned? Do you remember where u
were? Do bad was it or how bad were
you?
I recall just about every time i was
drunk or when i drank.....
Several of those times were pretty
horrible...esp when i had my accident
back in Feb 90. Then when i hit
complete bottom in Aug. 90 when
i tried to take my own life....
wanting to just quit and give up.
Of course those last 2 episodes led
me into recovery in which I am
extremely grateful for.
However....i recall some embarrassing
moments yrs ago when i was drinking....
Like....joy riding in the back seat with
friends and having had them pull over
so i could throw up....Here i am
sprawled out flat on my back with a
ring of people looking down on me
while the world spins out of control
above me....
I had no idea where i was for awhile
until i sat up and it was just yards away
from my apt. complex.
Then there were times when my date
picked me up and we r sitting in the
club when i throw up in the booth....lol YUK.
Its funnny now but it sure wasnt at
that time....
Then after several New Orleans Pat O'Brian
Hurricane drinks....pulled over to the side
of the road to throw up my insides.... YUK..!
How about being caught in the pool by my
then boyfriend ....with another guy carrying
on.... OUCH....
I could gone on but id like to hear from
you guys what you went thru when u
were stoned or drunk....
I tell u what....today i dont care how bad
life gets....nothing is that bad as when it
was back then.... NOTHING.
Thanks for letting me share.
By the Grace of my HP and people like
you here in SR I havent had a drink of
alcohol since 8-11-90.
For that and u I am truely grateful.
Topic:
Do you recall when u were drunk or
stoned? Do you remember where u
were? Do bad was it or how bad were
you?
I recall just about every time i was
drunk or when i drank.....
Several of those times were pretty
horrible...esp when i had my accident
back in Feb 90. Then when i hit
complete bottom in Aug. 90 when
i tried to take my own life....
wanting to just quit and give up.
Of course those last 2 episodes led
me into recovery in which I am
extremely grateful for.
However....i recall some embarrassing
moments yrs ago when i was drinking....
Like....joy riding in the back seat with
friends and having had them pull over
so i could throw up....Here i am
sprawled out flat on my back with a
ring of people looking down on me
while the world spins out of control
above me....
I had no idea where i was for awhile
until i sat up and it was just yards away
from my apt. complex.
Then there were times when my date
picked me up and we r sitting in the
club when i throw up in the booth....lol YUK.
Its funnny now but it sure wasnt at
that time....
Then after several New Orleans Pat O'Brian
Hurricane drinks....pulled over to the side
of the road to throw up my insides.... YUK..!
How about being caught in the pool by my
then boyfriend ....with another guy carrying
on.... OUCH....
I could gone on but id like to hear from
you guys what you went thru when u
were stoned or drunk....
I tell u what....today i dont care how bad
life gets....nothing is that bad as when it
was back then.... NOTHING.
Thanks for letting me share.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: library
Posts: 131
I don't have any outragous stories. I was a solitary drinker (despite having a loving husband and 4 great kids).
What stands out in my mind is the throwing up. It use to be an occasional morning until about 2 years prior to quitting--then it become almost EVERY single morning--with horrible hangovers. I would take the dog for a walk if the kids were up and then puck in some neighbors shrubs.
Haven't thrown up since Aug.'04. What a great feeling to feel so good in the morning.
jane
What stands out in my mind is the throwing up. It use to be an occasional morning until about 2 years prior to quitting--then it become almost EVERY single morning--with horrible hangovers. I would take the dog for a walk if the kids were up and then puck in some neighbors shrubs.
Haven't thrown up since Aug.'04. What a great feeling to feel so good in the morning.
jane
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Thanks Jane for sharing ur ESH with me and others....Im
sure there r many out there in our SR community that can
relate to the things we did in those drinking and drugging
yrs.
I recall when i was drinking and raising my 2 kids ...I was
a stay at home mom...so i did all i could in the morning hours
with my kids while i wasnt drinking.....then come the
afternoon hours i would begin my wined down time beginning
with "A" glass of wine.....Of course today i realize that back
then there was no such thing as "A" glass of wine,,,,,It was
just the beginning of "MANY" glasses of wine.....
I "CONTROLLED" my drinking trying not to get wasted around
by kids....
So they never knew how buzzed or numb I really
was when i finally layed my head down.
I use to cut the grass and manicure our yard often.
During that time i would drink before during and
afterwards....BOY my yard looked EXCELLENT...lol
The best.... Then id fall out sprawled on the lawn by
exhaustion from all the hard work i did BY MYSELF...lol
Copped a huge resentment later on in yrs because i
did all that hard work for what....no one really
appreciated all the hard work but ME.... YIKES...
sure there r many out there in our SR community that can
relate to the things we did in those drinking and drugging
yrs.
I recall when i was drinking and raising my 2 kids ...I was
a stay at home mom...so i did all i could in the morning hours
with my kids while i wasnt drinking.....then come the
afternoon hours i would begin my wined down time beginning
with "A" glass of wine.....Of course today i realize that back
then there was no such thing as "A" glass of wine,,,,,It was
just the beginning of "MANY" glasses of wine.....
I "CONTROLLED" my drinking trying not to get wasted around
by kids....
So they never knew how buzzed or numb I really
was when i finally layed my head down.
I use to cut the grass and manicure our yard often.
During that time i would drink before during and
afterwards....BOY my yard looked EXCELLENT...lol
The best....
Then id fall out sprawled on the lawn by exhaustion from all the hard work i did BY MYSELF...lol
Copped a huge resentment later on in yrs because i
did all that hard work for what....no one really
appreciated all the hard work but ME.... YIKES...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
too many stories...I smashed the hell out of a couple of my guitars,
stupid things you do when you're drunk.
I actaully have collections of guitars now, since I sobered up.
I stared working on my Z28 that i spent alot of money on tricking it
out..At the end there..I had car parts all over my yard for there days.
I put it back together but there was extra bolts and nuts...lol
I was spund out of my damn mind...didn't know what was what.
but though i knew everything..And my mother would just cuddle
me to death. I put a couple of days together and off into the twieght zone
again..thinking i could do it on my own...not even that, I just crashed
for days and days so i can go out and do it again. I didn't really give
a rat's ass who i hurted. i just blurr stuff out so people will feel sorry for me..
And it wasn't like people in my life wasn't trying to intervened. Even
my office manger talked to me nicely and maybe she could send me to
treament when i still have my kicked ass job. Everything taken cared
of all bills pain and time off...but nope...I didn't wanna.
stupid things you do when you're drunk.
I actaully have collections of guitars now, since I sobered up.
I stared working on my Z28 that i spent alot of money on tricking it
out..At the end there..I had car parts all over my yard for there days.
I put it back together but there was extra bolts and nuts...lol
I was spund out of my damn mind...didn't know what was what.
but though i knew everything..And my mother would just cuddle
me to death. I put a couple of days together and off into the twieght zone
again..thinking i could do it on my own...not even that, I just crashed
for days and days so i can go out and do it again. I didn't really give
a rat's ass who i hurted. i just blurr stuff out so people will feel sorry for me..
And it wasn't like people in my life wasn't trying to intervened. Even
my office manger talked to me nicely and maybe she could send me to
treament when i still have my kicked ass job. Everything taken cared
of all bills pain and time off...but nope...I didn't wanna.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Thank u for sharing ur thoughts. They r much appreciated.
16 yrs of many ODAAT equal a many wonderful changes
that have happened in my life. And my HP isnt thru with
me yet.
To have 2 kids that have grown and matured into AWESOME
adults achieving their goals.... is more than I can possibly
imagine. Another GIFT in RECOVERY.
To know that my HP could and would if He were sought.
Any day without drinking or drugging is a miracle in itself.
Thanks for letting me share.
16 yrs of many ODAAT equal a many wonderful changes
that have happened in my life. And my HP isnt thru with
me yet.
To have 2 kids that have grown and matured into AWESOME
adults achieving their goals.... is more than I can possibly
imagine. Another GIFT in RECOVERY.
To know that my HP could and would if He were sought.
Any day without drinking or drugging is a miracle in itself.
Thanks for letting me share.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Thanks Sat....Ur share shows the insanity of what
drinking or using did to us....Life is so much better
today without all the extra Drama...right?
Thumbs up buddy....
Guitar and cars...huh....lol Cool Dude,,!
drinking or using did to us....Life is so much better
today without all the extra Drama...right?
Thumbs up buddy....
Guitar and cars...huh....lol Cool Dude,,!
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 91
My worse night was probably after I hadn't been drinking much for two months and then I went to this party all the while saying how I wasn't going to drink much because I was feeling sick. I said sick, but I was feeling more emotionally sick than anything. I went to this party and drank shot after shot after shot...before the drinking games... then we played drinking games for a long while. I don't remember much about that night. But my last memory is throwing up all over my friend's bathroom and being too drunk to be able to do anything, and talking incoherently...like I could tell it was incoherent, but didn't care much-couldn't do anything about it...and then waking up in another room in different clothes, not remembering what had happened the night before or how I got in that room or anything. Then I was fine for a while-still drunk...and then had the worse hangover I have ever had I was sick and vomiting all day. It was so embarrassing and depressing. I'm glad I was with someone I trust. God knows what could have happened if that wasn't my best friend's house. She took care of me.
That's when I began to worry about my drinking habits. I never drank that much again. I never want to feel that way again. It was insane.
That's when I began to worry about my drinking habits. I never drank that much again. I never want to feel that way again. It was insane.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
I drank 24/7. I'd wake up at 4:30 AM, shaking & sweating, take a slug, and pass out intil 6-ish. Then I'd wake up, and run to the bathroom for my daily dry heaves & retching.
I'd get dressed, walk down the stairs holding the hand rail (anyone else get "rubber legs" ?) go to the local liquor store that opens at 7:00.
In the parking lot, I'd take my first shot. It was rough getting into my mouth cuz I'd be shaking so badly. 9 times out of 10, it would come back up on me. Well, at least that's out of the way.
When I was still working, I'd drive to work, stopping on the way & get 3 more little bottles. Sneak out around 10, sneak out at lunch, sneak out in the afternoon. (If at anytime, my BAL dropped, I'd go into withdraw) Get 3 little ones on the way home, and go to the same liquor store I went to in the morning and by a pint. Go home, drink, pass out, wake at 2:00 AM with dry mouth, pass out & repeat.
I did this for about 3 years.
I'd get dressed, walk down the stairs holding the hand rail (anyone else get "rubber legs" ?) go to the local liquor store that opens at 7:00.
In the parking lot, I'd take my first shot. It was rough getting into my mouth cuz I'd be shaking so badly. 9 times out of 10, it would come back up on me. Well, at least that's out of the way.
When I was still working, I'd drive to work, stopping on the way & get 3 more little bottles. Sneak out around 10, sneak out at lunch, sneak out in the afternoon. (If at anytime, my BAL dropped, I'd go into withdraw) Get 3 little ones on the way home, and go to the same liquor store I went to in the morning and by a pint. Go home, drink, pass out, wake at 2:00 AM with dry mouth, pass out & repeat.
I did this for about 3 years.
Life is Grand
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,041
Well, here is "The Best Of The Worst" of where drinking got me...Lost my job, my husband, my older Son, my home, my truck, my license, me freedom(for a while), my family, my dignity, my soul. I have been beaten black and blue from head to toe at least three times, had a gun to my head, and I received 28 stitches in my arm for pissing off the wrong person.
I thank God EVERY day that I am no longer that person!!
Sheesh, as I read that list, I sure was hard headed to keep it up that long! Just think, all I had to do is give up and admit I was powerless. When I truly gave up, staying sober wasn't that hard....cleaning up the mess I had made of my life was a little more difficult!!!
Today, life is GREAT!! Sobriety Rocks!!!!
Cathy
I thank God EVERY day that I am no longer that person!!
Sheesh, as I read that list, I sure was hard headed to keep it up that long! Just think, all I had to do is give up and admit I was powerless. When I truly gave up, staying sober wasn't that hard....cleaning up the mess I had made of my life was a little more difficult!!!
Today, life is GREAT!! Sobriety Rocks!!!!
Cathy
Raised from the Dead
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Chicago
Posts: 376
when i was 19 and homeless my friends family took me in. i stole their painkillers and went on a 2-day bender. finally my body gave out and i crawled to the bathroom to throw up. after laying down and tryiing to sleep it off my friend came in the room and i took a hit of pot. i dont remember anything after that but i was told that i started to seizure and went into heart failure. my friend called an ambulance as his younger brother and sister looked on. his dad gave me CPR trying to revive me --to no avail. finally paramedics arrived and raised me from the dead and i woke up in a hospital 4 days later.
thats what i think of when i think of using because thats where my addiction leads me. it took me until i was 25 before i entered AA and got sober. i endured bouts with homelessness, heroin addiction, drug overdoses, and countless friends (including my best in 2002) dying from this disease. this was my own doing and when i think of embarassing moments i think of robbing my parents, lying to friends, and destroying anyone close to me. im a degenerate con-artist gutter punk when using so everything from age 16-25 was one big embarassement.
im glad im sober because today i cant go through that.
thats what i think of when i think of using because thats where my addiction leads me. it took me until i was 25 before i entered AA and got sober. i endured bouts with homelessness, heroin addiction, drug overdoses, and countless friends (including my best in 2002) dying from this disease. this was my own doing and when i think of embarassing moments i think of robbing my parents, lying to friends, and destroying anyone close to me. im a degenerate con-artist gutter punk when using so everything from age 16-25 was one big embarassement.
im glad im sober because today i cant go through that.
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Coos Bay, Oregon
Posts: 12
Which time ? Ha ! No not real funny really. I have been a black-out alcoholic and
morphine addict for the best part of 26 years. I'm 41 now. I remember barely my last
drunk (took 25 trazadone) on top of the liquor.I was going into residential rehab the
next day so I was going out fighting. Had severe D.Ts. Hepatitus A&B and pnemonia
to boot.What a life. I was merely existing.Very sick. Lost my marriage,home,3 beautiful children, my parents,my soul and every job. Alcohol also robbed me of my
dreams. I hate this damn disease.I truely hate it ! There is no cure.After 5 treatment
residential rehabs and 7 stretches in jail I have given this disease over 5 years of my
life institutionalized.I have nothing more to give. I have been sober for 7 months now
and my worst day in recovery is better than my best day using. I am closing that
chapter of my life. I am starting a new life now. I just cant forget where I came from.
I am forever grateful for people in recovery sharing their experience strength
and hope.
morphine addict for the best part of 26 years. I'm 41 now. I remember barely my last
drunk (took 25 trazadone) on top of the liquor.I was going into residential rehab the
next day so I was going out fighting. Had severe D.Ts. Hepatitus A&B and pnemonia
to boot.What a life. I was merely existing.Very sick. Lost my marriage,home,3 beautiful children, my parents,my soul and every job. Alcohol also robbed me of my
dreams. I hate this damn disease.I truely hate it ! There is no cure.After 5 treatment
residential rehabs and 7 stretches in jail I have given this disease over 5 years of my
life institutionalized.I have nothing more to give. I have been sober for 7 months now
and my worst day in recovery is better than my best day using. I am closing that
chapter of my life. I am starting a new life now. I just cant forget where I came from.
I am forever grateful for people in recovery sharing their experience strength
and hope.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
This thread is not use to gloat over ur past drinking
or usiing careers....it's a way of not shutting the door
on the past but to use it as a tool to keep in mind
the destruction of what alcohol and drugs did to
each of us. To allow others especially the newcomers
to see that they were not alone in their own craziness.
We all have stories within each of us to share....its call
our experiences, strengths and hopes......
Sharing ur experiences is what u r doing here.....sharing
what it was like during those dark lonely crazy insane days
with others.....
We never want to go back to those days right?
At least I dont....If u dont share what it was like
back then then how am i to know there were others like
me going thru the same crap?
Sure today i have wonderful stories to share about
recovery and sobriety....and its ok to share those
hopes here if ud like.
Hey Im open for any and all ESH ud like to share.
Doing this does give hope to the newcomers so that
it will give them something too look forward to as they
begin their own recovery journey.
There is hope even when i didnt think so in early recovery.
That hope was passed on to me at each meeting
i attended when u shared how ur dark days of dispair
where lightened up by following the principles of our
program. By relying on Something greater than urself
to guide u and keep u clean and sober one day at a
time....
I thank each of u for sharing ur ESH . It is much appreciated.
or usiing careers....it's a way of not shutting the door
on the past but to use it as a tool to keep in mind
the destruction of what alcohol and drugs did to
each of us. To allow others especially the newcomers
to see that they were not alone in their own craziness.
We all have stories within each of us to share....its call
our experiences, strengths and hopes......
Sharing ur experiences is what u r doing here.....sharing
what it was like during those dark lonely crazy insane days
with others.....
We never want to go back to those days right?
At least I dont....If u dont share what it was like
back then then how am i to know there were others like
me going thru the same crap?
Sure today i have wonderful stories to share about
recovery and sobriety....and its ok to share those
hopes here if ud like.
Hey Im open for any and all ESH ud like to share.
Doing this does give hope to the newcomers so that
it will give them something too look forward to as they
begin their own recovery journey.
There is hope even when i didnt think so in early recovery.
That hope was passed on to me at each meeting
i attended when u shared how ur dark days of dispair
where lightened up by following the principles of our
program. By relying on Something greater than urself
to guide u and keep u clean and sober one day at a
time....
I thank each of u for sharing ur ESH . It is much appreciated.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
Hey Kev....Im doing well....Thanks for asking.
Went to a newcomers meeting yesterday afternoon.
Several picked up desire chips. Today I'll go to
a noon meeting. Doing my service work to keep
me focused on my program.
Its taking me awhile to get back into the groove
since being gone for 10 yrs...Slowly but surely im
inching my way back to the many meetings
i went to in early sobriety.
And how r u doing?
Went to a newcomers meeting yesterday afternoon.
Several picked up desire chips. Today I'll go to
a noon meeting. Doing my service work to keep
me focused on my program.
Its taking me awhile to get back into the groove
since being gone for 10 yrs...Slowly but surely im
inching my way back to the many meetings
i went to in early sobriety.
And how r u doing?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: anomaly
Posts: 2,180
Nope..I don't live in my past...but I can't shut the door on it.
I need a reminder from time to time. While I can relate to newbies
if it ever get to playing the tape till the end. My own person experince
hits me deeper and I feel it more.
The longer I stay clean and sober, the more I need to remember.
Becuase it's almost beyound the short term and long term memory bank.
I'll start getting complacesent with my recovery and life dose with better.
Then I'll get rash of insanity thinking i'm cure or I can handle it again.
I came into recovery @ 22...I relapsed 3 years ago becuase i forgot
how it was and after the first drink...I actaully thought I was cured.
I'm 40 now.
I did so by not sticking close to the program..Life got better, I got well.
and sometimes I get sick of the drama and the hasle of recovery.
And don't want to hear war stories..but it's the truth.
It knocks me back to reality..but I don't have to look too far.
All I have to do is go home or visit my parents
I felt sick yesterday really.lol..I wanted to puke my guts out.
I dun no...I havn't been visiting my abrassive alcoholic father in while...
My fahter can be nice to the nieghbors but a mean buasture to me behind close
doors. Image...image is everything. He's got the monkey bussiness
brewing.lol My mother walks on eggshells.
It was reminder of how sick I can get all the time..if I actually use.
it passed. I didn't use over it. I don't have to live like that anymore.
I need a reminder from time to time. While I can relate to newbies
if it ever get to playing the tape till the end. My own person experince
hits me deeper and I feel it more.
The longer I stay clean and sober, the more I need to remember.
Becuase it's almost beyound the short term and long term memory bank.
I'll start getting complacesent with my recovery and life dose with better.
Then I'll get rash of insanity thinking i'm cure or I can handle it again.
I came into recovery @ 22...I relapsed 3 years ago becuase i forgot
how it was and after the first drink...I actaully thought I was cured.
I'm 40 now.
I did so by not sticking close to the program..Life got better, I got well.
and sometimes I get sick of the drama and the hasle of recovery.
And don't want to hear war stories..but it's the truth.
It knocks me back to reality..but I don't have to look too far.
All I have to do is go home or visit my parents
I felt sick yesterday really.lol..I wanted to puke my guts out.
I dun no...I havn't been visiting my abrassive alcoholic father in while...
My fahter can be nice to the nieghbors but a mean buasture to me behind close
doors. Image...image is everything. He's got the monkey bussiness
brewing.lol My mother walks on eggshells.
It was reminder of how sick I can get all the time..if I actually use.
it passed. I didn't use over it. I don't have to live like that anymore.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,238
How so I can relate to u Sat....about family,,,,All i have to
do is think about my mom who was a Dr Jeckle/ Mr Hyde....nice
to every Tom Dick and Harry and then soooo physically and
verbally abusive to me....JUST ME out of 4 kids... WHY ME?
How the he** am i suppose to know....she caught the same
shi* from her mom and thus passed it on to me.....
Thank God I wasnt like that to my 2 kids....of course with
help and guidance from Above I raised His children to the
best of my ability.....
Sure i got screwed,,,screwed up...but im sober today and
talking about it....hopeing to save another lost soul who is
afflicted with this cunning baffling and powerful disease.
Today i dont put myself in situations that would ruffle my
feathers or test my serenity ....and if that means keeping
my distance from my family then so be it....
I know that they and she will never change and ive had
to accept that...and im cool with that.
Today...like so many...am no exception to relapse if i
allow myself to get complacent....that i would hope
will never happen and it shouldnt as long as i work the
12 steps placed before me on a daily bases....
No i dont ever want to close the door behind me...and no
i can never forget the pain.....but today i know how
to deal with it instead of drinking over it.
Thanks Sat for ur share.... Luv u buddy.
do is think about my mom who was a Dr Jeckle/ Mr Hyde....nice
to every Tom Dick and Harry and then soooo physically and
verbally abusive to me....JUST ME out of 4 kids... WHY ME?
How the he** am i suppose to know....she caught the same
shi* from her mom and thus passed it on to me.....
Thank God I wasnt like that to my 2 kids....of course with
help and guidance from Above I raised His children to the
best of my ability.....
Sure i got screwed,,,screwed up...but im sober today and
talking about it....hopeing to save another lost soul who is
afflicted with this cunning baffling and powerful disease.
Today i dont put myself in situations that would ruffle my
feathers or test my serenity ....and if that means keeping
my distance from my family then so be it....
I know that they and she will never change and ive had
to accept that...and im cool with that.
Today...like so many...am no exception to relapse if i
allow myself to get complacent....that i would hope
will never happen and it shouldnt as long as i work the
12 steps placed before me on a daily bases....
No i dont ever want to close the door behind me...and no
i can never forget the pain.....but today i know how
to deal with it instead of drinking over it.
Thanks Sat for ur share....
Luv u buddy.
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