sudio

Hi. Please don't quote me on anything because my brain is frying right now.

First, you may call me sue and thank you for these forums.

Approx 2-3 yrs ago, i told the P.A. that i thought i was going through menopause ... started me off on low doses of effexor/xanax ... eventually brought to 225 mg/day/effexor and 4 mg/day of xanax ...

a little over a year ago, c/t effexor and landed in mental ward for 1 day ... doc put me on desipramine ... all tricyclics and other meds made me feel worse than i already felt ...

eventually ended up on .5 mg/day/xanax resinstatement due to horrible w/d, after psych tried to detox me in 8 weeks' time (.5 mg every 7 days) from 3 different drugs at the same time ...

after reinstatement to .5 mg, i began looking for a way out of that horrible nightmare and found another site that encouraged me to switch to diazepam ... couldn't find ANY doctor to support me with that taper, but one was willing to prescribe diazepam along with lithium and seroquel (which, the latter, i rejected and then the doc rejected me ... oh well) ...

i did the cross over to 10 mg/day valium and tapered off of the valium in 2 weeks (i was told that it was too fast, but please, don't elaborate on that with me because i'm at a very critical point in recovery and don't want to turn back or pile more anxiety on myself) ...

as of today at 9 pm, i'm 11 days free and now i'm here ... thank you for any and all future support ...

Anna

It sounds like you've been down a long road.

Welcome! I'm glad y ou found us and congratulations on 11 days clean.

sudio

oh, thank you, anna ... your reply is very much welcomed ... yes, tough road and very very scared ...

thank you again for your welcome

Midas

Congrats on the sober/clean time so far!! The first two weeks are usually the toughest. Welcome aboard, too.


By the way, we generally discourage detailed suggestions on tapering (scheduling vs. dosage, etc), or if you're doing it right or what not.

Alive

Welcome, i know inderal is tough. It makes your heart go really really fast. Glad for your sobriety...

Karim

sudio

thank you for the welcome and encouraging words, midas ... i can't tell you how invaliuable that is to me ...

so just a couple of more days and things should be dying down? i surely hope so!! i was told over the phone by an opiate nurse that on my 5th day, it should go down from there, however, it's gotten worse, howbeit, not as bad as the xanax taper/w/d and other drugs, but it's still bad enough to make me wanna be a cry baby about it ... i am so thrilled that i've been able to tough it out this long and am worried about the next few days ... so far, it's been tolerable enough, ya know? thank you again for all of that ...

sudio

thank you for the welcome, karim ... maybe the inderal was a contributing factor to the failed xanax taper as well as all of the other drugs ... i'm so glad to not have anything at all in me ... well, i'm sure that a bit the diazepam is still metabolized in these fat cells, but that's the only thing ...

thank you again, karim ...

sobriety: that's an awesome and amazing word!! i like it!!

doesn't that word look good on me?

it looks good on you, too!!

Midas

Sometimes withdrawal symptoms can linger for months, if not years, after quitting. I don't mean to scare you by saying that, but I still have moments where I struggle with the damage I've done. It depends on how long you used or abused, too.

Alcohol withdrawals are probably the worst I've ever experienced. Then again, that was my drug O choice.

Rowan

Hi Sudio,

I just wanted to welcome you here and to congratulate you on your clean time. I'm glad you found us.

Rowan

sudio

hello, midas ... thank you so much for your insight ... i'm not freaked out over the toleable symptoms, just the ones that make you spaz out, like uncontrollable muscle jerking that seems to never end ... and, the chest pains that i hope not to experience this time around ...

my history is in the original part of this thread ... not concentrating well at the moment ... i'm just hoping that i've pretty much maxed out all of the bad symptoms, like palpitations and hopefully, past the spasm stage ...

thank you again, midas ... any and every thing helps ...

sudio

thank you, Rowan ... i'm happy and scared at the same time ...

i'm so glad i've found this place ...

Rowan

It's going to be okay. Hang in.

butterflylover

Welcome sudio and Congrats on being clean!! You'll find that the people and support on this site are awesome. Just keep on postin'. Best wishes!

livefree

Welcome! It does sound like you've been through a lot. Glad to hear you are sober/clean and doing well. You've made a good decision. Keep taking care of yourself and keep visiting us here on SR=)

sudio

thank you butterfly flower ... i appreciate the support *hugs*

sudio

thank you for the welcome ... the nightmare is indescribable ... it does seem that every day is getting better ... can't wait until this is completely over and surely it will be ... i don't have the mind or habits of an addict (those doggone doctors! grr) well, i guess i can't completely blame it on the doctors but considering that i'm not a pill popper, i just figured they knew what they were doing, ya know? after 40 yrs, one would certainly be very trusting of doctors ... well, i've learned my lesson to the hilt!!

thanks again ...

Anna

Hi Sudio,

I'm glad you're doing better today!

I think, in my experience, a lot of drs don't know much about addiction. You know what is the right thing to do and how to stay on the path of recovery.

Alive

yes studio sobriety looks wonderful on you. You can be so much if you're sober.You can do anything, actually! Stay strong

Keep counting, step by step!