Toomutch

I am currently on home detox, and as grateful as I am, all I do is sleep; when not sleeping I am nervous and lost and confused. I am taking Librium; an dont really know if it is working.

My life can be described as too much... My 13 year old daughter was recently hospitalized with anorexia, after 4 months she is finally home and doing fairly well. I feel guilty that I have this problem because she needs me so much; as do my 3 teenage sons. But I have made some big mistakes; I am not in trouble with the law, but I sure have been making a fool of myself. I constantly feel guilty and worthless and am desperate for others to talk to, who are going through the same thing.

I quit drinking for 7 years and started back up after a family crisis. I really cant imagine my life without alcohol at this point; but I know I have to do something.

~Toomutch

Midas

Welcome aboard, toomutch. We're glad you're here. Be grateful you're getting some rest. I couldn't sleep for a whole week after I quit drinking.

parentrecovers

nice to meet you, toomutch. you going to aa meetings? keep posting! blessings, k

Rowan

Hi Toomutch,

I'm so glad you found us. Please don't be so hard on yourself - I've been there, myself - guilt shame and remorse were hard on my heels for a long time. It's gotten so much better - and you can get there too. Please keep posting, we need you here.

Rowan

Tazman53

Welcome to SR tomutch, I assume you are home detoxing under a doctors supervision I hope? Just keep in mind that getting sober is easy, staying sober is the hard part, almost impossible without some sort of long term recovery program.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I couldn't imagine my life without alcohol either. I was really scared of what would happen. But, it's all good, it really is. I am so glad to no longer be living with the haze of alcohol. You have found a great place for support and encouragement, so keep posting.

BBQBOY

I,m glad you found SR and I bet you will be glad too. I have detoxed a couple times at home with no librium and it was he## . Could not sleep for nights on end w/ all other classic withdrawl symptoms. The last time I detoxed(I enjoyed the last couple of times so much lol.) I went to DR and was put on librium, I was so happy to have the help. Yes they make you sleepy, kind of "out of it", but it is better than cold turkey and alot safer.

You will taper off the libs and start having clearer thoughts and feel better, I promise. Then you can start your RECOVERY PROGRAM.. We all know how you feel, and are pulling for you.....



Work Hard and Enjoy Life....................NED

Toomutch

Tazman,

Yes I am ollowing doctors orders; thank God for Librium. I am afraid to be without it. I go Monday for another doctors visit and they might put me on a medication to control cravings. (Are you familiar with that).

even with the Librium I am terrified; I dont want to fail.

~Toomutch

topetah

welcome! dont let those feelings of shame guilt embarrassment get to you. i know how much they can bring u down. try and put the past... in the past, and move on with a sober new life. you said you did it once for 7 years thats great.. you know what to do.. good luck..jason

livefree

Hi, toomuch.
You are doing the right thing. How are you feeling? That's really, really smart of you to detox under the supervision of a doctor. Even if you are doing it at home, it's good to have a doctor know what's going on. The librium helped me a lot when I detoxed. It can't be easy to deal with the emotional aspects of detoxing on your own. I hope you can make it to some meetings. Keep posting here; it really is helpful. Best of luck.

Tazman53

Yes I am familiar with one type Revia, they gave me a script when I got out of detox, to be honest I do not think it made a bit of difference in the world for me, I took it for about a week and then kept forgetting to take it and noticed no difference, but that was me, I have heard other people say it helped a lot, so every one is different.

You sound like I was once I got sober, I was scared to death I was going to fail!

I think that worked to my advantage, after 40 years of drinking and the last 10 spent trying to stop I had reached the point of being willing to do any thing to get and stay sober.

When I was in detox they told us that if we were serious about staying sober that our best chance was to go to at least 90 AA meetings in 90 days and get a sponsor! Well being scared to death of failing and dying I did just what they said!

Oh you are probably thinking the same thing I was thinking about at least 90 AA meetings in 90, I actually told my councilor that I was going to go to AA but there was no way I could do that many meetings in that amount of time, I worked full time and was married with children. You know what the councilor said? He said "Well just devote as much time to AA meetings as you did to drinking and go from there."

Well it turned out by doing that I knocked out more then 90 in 90.

When I went to AA I thought all it was about was staying sober, ah but I have found it to be far more then that, not only due to AA and its 12 steps has the urge/need to drink been lifted from me, but I am now happy, joyous and free!

Just remember just stopping drinking is not going to keep you sober, it is only the beginning, you can change and become a better happier sober person or you can do nothing except not drink and become what I became every time I tried to stay quit before.... a miserable sober drunk.

Toomutch

Anna,

I am glad I found this support system; I just happend upon it. I believe the Lord led me here to this site.

I appreciate your words of encouragement.

~Toomutch

Dee74

looks like I came late to this thread...welcome toomutch !
D