Exercise in Reaching Out
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: pass the bon bons
Posts: 2,363
for me, i was always terrified of reaching out, because it meant admiting that i had a problem i could not handle on my own....that i was not the strong capable woman everyone thought i was.......
i was shaking the first time i posted here......it was the very first time that i had put into words that i was not ok....that i was an addict and my grief from my recent loss was more than i could handle.......i'm the strong one, you know? the one who is there for everyone else........
reaching out is so hard.......but it can change your life.....free you in a way you can't imagine......let you know that you are not alone, and you don't have to face your burdens by yourself......
i was shaking the first time i posted here......it was the very first time that i had put into words that i was not ok....that i was an addict and my grief from my recent loss was more than i could handle.......i'm the strong one, you know? the one who is there for everyone else........
reaching out is so hard.......but it can change your life.....free you in a way you can't imagine......let you know that you are not alone, and you don't have to face your burdens by yourself......
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
I really need some help here right now. I am feeling so betrayed right now and don't know which action to take. I am hoping that I can turn this over but I feel as if now I am not going to be able to share as much here at SR. Damn still problems of my own making. I wish sometimes that I would learn a lesson. Now, what am I suppose to do 
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Doing better today, I PMed someone and talked with them! Anonymity is something precious to me and maybe others just don't realize what or how it affects others when they go around and break it. One lesson is to NEVER let anyone from your hometown know that you are a member of a website. I will stay and learn! 
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Indiana
Posts: 35
I appreciate this thread. I too have fear about reaching out to people and asking for help. I can welcome the newcomers at meetings and if someone asks for help, I try to help in any way I can. But when I need help, I find it so so hard to reach out and pick up the phone. My sponsor has been trying to help me with this and wants me to call at least one person a day...but I feel paralyzed with fear. What do I say? Am I bothering them? What are we going to talk about?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
I'm glad you brought this up hopeOct31, I can identify with the whole 'what do I say?' - it's gotten easier, though, as time has gone by and I've walked through the fear a couple of times. Even by calling and saying 'my sponsor wants me to call someone in the program every day and I'm scared to do this, but here I am, calling you anyway!' it might be a good icebreaker and put you both at ease.
I'm glad you found us.
Rowan
I'm glad you found us.
Rowan
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: It's a Dry Heat, AZ.
Posts: 438
My original sponsor and I hardly ever talked, but when we did, we usually spent hours together. I think we covered most of the 12 steps in just one afternoon. A good sponsor will always listen to what you have to say, and probably correct you if your head isn't screwed on straight.
I miss Wade. He never forced me into any strict guidelines. He always encouraged me, and he reached out selflessly. I think it's because he saw himself in me. At least that's what he told me frequently. He made it sound like I was a shining example.
If I'm not careful, my ego might float away.
It's also important to encourage newcomers, but not to coddle them. It's good to be firm, but not scolding. There's a big difference. There's a balance. Instead of harping on them and saying, "you're doing it all wrong!" We should say, "find what works best for you."
No two alcoholics are exactly the same. No two recovering alcoholics are the same. What works for one, may be nothing but disaster for someone else. Members who rely solely on tough love (as a recovery basis), often know nothing about love at all.
Love one another. Practice Peace.
I miss Wade. He never forced me into any strict guidelines. He always encouraged me, and he reached out selflessly. I think it's because he saw himself in me. At least that's what he told me frequently. He made it sound like I was a shining example.
If I'm not careful, my ego might float away.
It's also important to encourage newcomers, but not to coddle them. It's good to be firm, but not scolding. There's a big difference. There's a balance. Instead of harping on them and saying, "you're doing it all wrong!" We should say, "find what works best for you."
No two alcoholics are exactly the same. No two recovering alcoholics are the same. What works for one, may be nothing but disaster for someone else. Members who rely solely on tough love (as a recovery basis), often know nothing about love at all.
Love one another. Practice Peace.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
midas amen to that...
i have a new sponsee... the ruff tuff angle would land him in the pych ward again...
he's come'n along, even share'n at our meets...
love, kindness, understanding and compassion is working...
not to say, my other... the intilect, i dont give a swift kick in the (_|_) here & there...
xxoo, rz
What works for one, may be nothing but disaster for someone else. Members who rely solely on tough love (as a recovery basis), often know nothing about love at all.
i have a new sponsee... the ruff tuff angle would land him in the pych ward again...
he's come'n along, even share'n at our meets...
love, kindness, understanding and compassion is working...
not to say, my other... the intilect, i dont give a swift kick in the (_|_) here & there...
xxoo, rz
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
My reaching out thing about ice and water didn't really work and seems to have started controversy which I didn't want to happen. I'll reach out here instead since everyone else is taking the chance. Not hanging on too well.
yasmin
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: london,uk
Posts: 15
I FIND IT EASIER TO REACH OUT AND SHARE ON THIS FORUM THEN IN MEETINGS. I always chicken out of sharing at meetings, i dont know what to say, this forum is great cause u are in the confort of your home, in security and no one is watching. We have to thank eachother for this, and making this forum as supportive as it is. Lets keep sharing and learning from eachother to succeed one day at a time.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Whatever works...............
My friend Rusty taught me.....well...it keeps coming back anyhow.....
"If it ain't broke don't fix it"....
I can share here easily because I love to write!
Yet...I am sitting here (writing) and need to get ready for a
Dr. appt. and a meeting about retirement due to my biploar
...medical disability....Doing for me is always last minute!
I do all right giving advice..and it is from the heart...but doing
for myself is so freaken' hard at times....
However....someone here said..walking through the fear.....
always makes us stronger. Something else I do to cope?
Ask for prayer from everyone.
Love,
Sherry
(Chance...adorable pics..you are sweetie)
My friend Rusty taught me.....well...it keeps coming back anyhow.....
"If it ain't broke don't fix it"....
I can share here easily because I love to write!
Yet...I am sitting here (writing) and need to get ready for a
Dr. appt. and a meeting about retirement due to my biploar
...medical disability....Doing for me is always last minute!
I do all right giving advice..and it is from the heart...but doing
for myself is so freaken' hard at times....
However....someone here said..walking through the fear.....
always makes us stronger. Something else I do to cope?
Ask for prayer from everyone.
Love,
Sherry
(Chance...adorable pics..you are sweetie)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: It's a Dry Heat, AZ.
Posts: 438
When we hold each other up, we become stronger in faith.
Believe in, and live for the nine promises. You'll be amazed before you're even halfway there. Somebody help me out, what are those 9 again?
Believe in, and live for the nine promises. You'll be amazed before you're even halfway there. Somebody help me out, what are those 9 again?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
The AA Promises
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not.
They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
They will always materialize if we work for them.
Alcoholics Anonymous p83-84
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through.
We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace.
No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
Self-seeking will slip away.
Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change.
Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us.
We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.
We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
Are these extravagant promises? We think not.
They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.
They will always materialize if we work for them.
Alcoholics Anonymous p83-84
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