thiskidknows

Hi I came across this website yesterday as I was was looking for support and understanding and from reading some topics I feel that u understand.

i'm struggling to stop drinking I've been binge drinking since I was 15, I'm now 27, in the last 2 years I'm drinking everynite anything between 8 - until I blackout and don't remember what I've been drinking, where I've been or how I've got home, I've made stupid mistakes when been drunk, doing thing I wouldn't do sober and I know I wouldn't..

I've not had a drink in 24 hours but the headaches, shivers, stomach hurts, anxious, not sleeping, nightmares have all increased I feel so weak and out of balance it doesn't feel normal, 24 hours it feels so much longer I wouldn't have thought I was addicted and could stop cold turkey. I'm also self medicating with tradmodol and paracetmol and trying to stop but the withdrawels and urges are becoming more and more difficult with each passing minute, everythought have a drink take some pills is all to easy. I've started drinking to block out painful memories but the memories are still there when I wake so I start drinking again.. Does it change, does it really become easier, when does it ease or is this it?

Sorry for the long post and complaining on my first post it wasn't my intention just really need to drink or take my pills.

Lost_child

Missymae737

Hi Lost child,

Welcome to SR,

You may need to seek medical help for your withdrawals..

You have come to the right place, we will help you. Know that you are not alone, we have all been where your at...

I drank because I just didn't want to feel period!!! I would drink and passout and start the process over again...

Keep posting...

Thorn

Hi Lost child,

I was in your kind of shape just four days ago. It does get better, but please take care of yourself and get to a doctor or hospital if things get too bad.

Sending good thoughts your way,

Thorn

thiskidknows

Thank you for your reply. Its nice to know that I'm not on my own and that u do understand. Does it get easier, is it possible just to stop drinking, self medicating.

I'm afraid to go to the doctors as the tablets I'm taking are prescription but not from the doctor and my drinking I know is out of control. I had kidney and liver tests my liver is ok just, but my kidney is 51 (unsure what that means, apart from healthy is 60 - 120).

I'm also worried that it may get worse and open up more memories then I can deal with at the moment, is it possible just to go cold turkey, I just want to go and get a drink and take my pills right now..I'm in a mess and not sure I can help myself, I need someone to take over mylife and get me back on the straight and narrow as I can't seem to think for myself. Sorry

parentrecovers

it's really nice to meet you, lost. keep posting! blessings, k

Iwanttobe1

Lost child,

You don't have to do this yourself. There is plenty of support here for you.
I stopped drinking 31 days ago and the withdrawal is no fun. If you feel like drinking and taking pills, don't that's a deadly combination. If your withdrawal get's too much to handle, see your doctor.

I have a lot of bad memories that I tried to drink to forget, but I have found that doesn't help forget, I just got more depressed. So I needed to find another solution. Memories don't go away. But you can deal with them without drinking.

I found an AA meeting that has helped me tremendously. I have lots of love and support whenever I need it. I have phone numbers to call when I am feeling down. I see psychiatrist and have a therapist. And the combination of support is helping me stay sober.

So hang in there and find the support you need and don't be afraid to reach out for help.

24 hours is a start to a lifetime of sobriety, that's where we a started.

Just don't pick up that first drink.

Sending you a big hug and praying that you get through this.

Carol

TINLIZZY

Lost -

Welcome to SR. Great support and information here!

Don't be afraid to go to the doctor. Read around, you can be sure that you are not the only person around to be taking prescription meds that you have no prescription for!! A doctor can help with withdrawal and be there to monitor you.

Don't feel alone, you're not. I have 14 days sober today. In addition to reading and posting here, I attend outpatient rehab 3 nights per week and go to AA everyday. Build a support system that can help you through the hard times. , and keep a strong resolve.

TinLizzy

hope3

Hi lost child, welcome.

I really think you just see your doctor,

Cold turkey can be dangerous, depending on

the amount and length of time you drank, etc.

Heres a link to a sticky on this forum, about what to expect

when quitting, best wishes, keep reading and keep coming back.

Hope3

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-expect.html

Anna

As others have said, going to the dr is the safe thing to do right now.

And, yes, it will definitely get better.

But, you will find all the memories and feelings that you've been numbing away, will come back. I do remember having to deal with so much. But, you will be able to get through it.

angie9

Hi Lost child welcome , they are a lovely lot here . Im on day 3 and tho I get strong urges in fact this afternoon I had to drag myself away from the entrance to the booze shop then mooched around home but now at 6.30pm Im starting to feel better and then when the evening gets later and the urges lessen you get a real feeling of accomplishment ya did it!! you made it through the day without booze!! All I can say is take each hour each minute prehaps and say to yourself "Im not having a drink just right now"!! keep busy yes its damn hard and will I practice what I write I dont know but Im gonna give it a real good try .
Kia Kaha ( Stay Strong)

thiskidknows

Thank you for all you replies I did manage to stay away from the drink last night, wasn't easier but I didn't drink. I did howevre resort back to takin tramadol. I think your right I can't do this alone and I do need to seek support from my doctor and where ever else I can, I thought it would be easier but I realise now I was very much mistaken. The memories have come flooding back and I want them to stop. I was ab*sed when I was 3 till I was 15 and turned to drink once it stopped, I managed to block everything out, now and again I would remember something but I was high on pot on drinking too heavy to think..then 2 years ago when things started to creep back in with a vegance and the drink wasn't helping I started drinking more and everynite sometimes when thinks were bad I would start as soon as I woke up. Now the memories are coming back when I'm awake, when I close my eyes, it all feels too big for me to deal with. The drink is too close, friends calling to go pub with them and I feel the urge just to have one, but I know deep down that it won't be just one and I won't stop until I'm drunk and passout.

How do you manage this, I never realised I was addicted until recentely and now I'm scared that admitting so I'm letting everyone down, letting myself down. this is so difficult. No1 around me understands. Sorry

parentrecovers

believe me, lost - you aren't letting anyone down by admitting your addiction and seeking the help you need. a supportive doctor and/or therapist is a great place to start. meantime, keep posting - we're listening. blessings, k

Skarsnik

Keep going Lost, with the help of this forum and other professional services I hope you can get past the symptoms.

As parent says, keep posting.. thats what I'm doing right now to alleiviate the cravings.

Rowan

Hi Lost, Welcome to SR. Yes, it gets better, and unfortunately we have to go through pain in order to get through it. You don't have to do this alone. Lots of us here know exactly what you're going through because we have been there ourselves.
Keep posting!

Rowan

ascar

Welcome Lost Child
It does/will get better only if you want it to, your one line in your original post, that said...(I'm afraid to go to the doctors as the tablets I'm taking are prescription but not from the doctor and my drinking I know is out of control.)

If you want help, you need to get it into your mind that YOU will do WHATEVER it takes, so what about the pills that you are taking, you want to quit using them ?? yes/no ??. YOU have to make a commitment, it is called

SOBRIETY

Tazman53

Well after 40 years of drinking I manage it "One day at a time" now, when I first stopped it was one minute at a time sometimes, that stretched out slowly to every 15 minutes then hourly.

I have just a day over 7 months sober and can honestly say thanks to my HP, AA, the 12 steps of AA, the fellowship of AA and the fine folks here at SR my need/urge to drink has been lifted.

Remember to live in today, forget about tomorrow, do not live in the past, I heard in the rooms one time that if you live with one foot in today and the other foot in tomorrow you have no choice but to crap all over today!

ascar

Well said Tazman, GREAT on your 7 months !!
I also alway's try to tell new comers that there is not one "magic cure" for this crap. I as well got sober 14 Aug 2003, with AA, and still rely "heavily" on my HP, but I also have freinds in SMART, here at SR, I dabble in other places as well, but still always remember that no matter what I can't drink. I don't really like some of the "AA Bashers" at other sites, but I can only worry about me. There are some really great people out there with alot of great advice. And some day's I am giving and there are those days that I really need some and am grateful for this site and many others for my sobriety.
Happy 24,
Neil

livefree

lost,
It is good that you've come to the realization that you have a problem. That, in and of itself, is a very hard thing to come to terms with and admit. It is great that you've stopped drinking. If you are feeling so bad that you are relying on meds, I would suggest seeing a doctor. Don't worry about getting in trouble for having those prescription meds on you... people who go into treatment for heroin or coke don't have to divulge there sources or go to jail. Not drinking does get easier, but unfortunately it gets harder (the first few days) before it gets better. Stay strong and keep us updated.

hope3

Hi again Lostchild, How do we manage it, is alittle different

for everyone. Your real friends won't fell let down, and if they do,

their not your real friends. You have taken the first, very hard step, congratulations, the first step is not to drink, detox, cleanse the body of the

drug or alcohol.

You have started that, a doctor is a great resource to start the initial assessment process, and to get other resourses in your area, or referrals to other doctors that might be in good for your treatment.

2nd step is Treatment: treatments vary from counseling alone to counseling and anticraving medications and etc.

Treatments for some may involve rehab centers, inpatient, or out patient centers.

3rd step usually requires long term programs, either 12 step (A.A. eg.) or other types of long term recovery programs.

The main point of this post is to answer your questions best I can, but to also let you know that there isn't one set of things that all people would use, that is why it is sometimes important to be assessed by a professional in the field, if you feel, and many do, that you need help.

Many have gotten sober and stayed sober just with a program like A.A., but this is all for you to decide.

There are alot of great information about types of programs and treatment center phone numbers in the stickies under the alcoholism forum.

If there is any questions you have, fire a way, there are many people who have or are where you are now, that would love to help, me included.

Love and hope your way lostchils, hope3