starlet44

Hi, I'm new on this sight and find it very inspiring.I can certainly relate to some of the writings. I unfortunately just relapsed about a week and a half ago, and I disappointed alot of people in the process. But my biggest guilt is where my two daughters are concerned. I have one 22, and one 11, plus two granddaughters. I'm not living in my own city right now, as it is very unheathy for me. I proved that by not staying clean last time I went to visit my family. I am currently doing a phase three program in a rehab center, I did phase one and two in the hospital,and temporarily relocated to do phase three as a outpatient. I am looking for a poem to help my daughters understand a little better about the disease, and maybe why I relapsed, bacause right now they just really hate me, and feel I chose the drug over them, which ultimately I did. No matter how I look at it, that is what happened, and it's tearing me apart.I can't tell them I'm sorry, because they're just words. I would appreciate any imput. Thanks!

margo

Welcome Starlett! Some of our members may be able to help you out with a poem, so keep checking back.

Hugs!

Anna

Hi Starlett,

Welcome!

Trying to deal with the guilt and shame is such a hard part of recovery. Be patient with yourself and try to forgive. I found that writing in a journal was really helpful in releasing the negative feelings. I don't have a poem, but hopefully someone will.

ayla zaire

scarlett, honey....you are not alone......and you are not the only mother in history to be an addict......there are so many of us out there......

you should be so proud of yourself for doing what it takes to get sober.......it is a courageous thing you are doing.....

there is time to mend your relationships with your family.....but you can't do that if you don't mend yourself......think of what you are doing as the first step to earning back your daughters trust.......because i'm certain they still love you......

it's so hard for our families to trust us again.......it takes time, and we have to prove to them we are serious......your girls are probably afraid to get close to you right now......they are afraid you are not going to stay sober, you know? it's natural for them to be cautious....(trust me, sweetie, i know...i'm an addict and my mama was an alcoholic....)only time can prove to them you are ready to heal......

take care of yourself right now........i know what you must be going through and how much you must miss your family.......but you have the rest of your life to make amends......

you can never truly love anyone else until you love yourself......and you can not be truly loved, not if you feel you are not worthy of it......be kind to yourself, you are worth it.....

teej

Hi Starlet!

Here is a website I just found that has poems to look through, I hope you find one that you like. Hang in there.

http://www.poemsforfree.com/alcopo.html

tj

CarolD

"Starlet is trying
and not dying"



Welcome to SR!

starlet44

I just want to thank every one for thier kind words, and for making me feel so welcome. Thank You.

hope3

Hi Stralet44, Here's my version of ainspirational poem.

All we have is love....................
Ba da da da da da dum.........

Oh, we are growing.........

Faster than we ever could have dreamed.
Ba da da da da da dum.........

And our bellies are buldging, we are going to burst right through our seams.....

Ba da da da da da dum.........

And all.... that we have...... is hope and love..so don't you
worry child....... don't you worry bout a thing in the night,

but those, can lift us up......so we can rise above..........

so we can rise above............so we can rise above..........the madness....

And all.... that we have...... is hope and love..so don't you
worry child....... don't you worry bout a thing in the night,

but those, can lift us up......so we can rise above..........

so we can rise above............so we can rise above..........the madness....

Ba da da da da da da dum.........Ba da da da da da da dum.........

And there's enough wealth for everyone, but you say there's weakness
in an empty pockett, but I say there's weakness in an empty heart............

and you say theres strenght in only controll.....and I say there's hope
in love and compassion..............

And all.... that we have...... is hope and love..so don't you
worry child....... don't you worry bout a thing in the night,

but those, can lift us up......so we can rise above..........

so we can rise above............so we can rise above..........the madness....

And all.... that we have...... is hope and love....so don't you
worry child....... don't you worry bout a thing in the night,

but those, can lift us up... (hope and love)...so we can rise above..........

so we can rise above............so we can rise above..........the madness....

Ba da da da da da da dum.........Ba da da da da da da dum.........

Soon;............. we will find;.............. our own way home...........
cause we all need...........alittle healing.............Soon;............. we will find;.............. our own way home...........cause we all need...........alittle healing.............

Sooooo..............give love..............it's the only thing that heals you........
give love................cause we all need a little healing.........

so... come on sisters,........give it to your brothers.....so give love.......

it's the only thing that heals you..............and we all need a little healing........

so come on brothers........give it to your sisters.............so give love....it's the only thing thats heals you......give love.........

All we have is love....................
Ba da da da da da dum.........

Oh, we are growing.........

Faster than we ever could have dreamed.
Ba da da da da da dum.........

And our bellies are buldging, we are going to burst right through our seams.....

Ba da da da da da dum.........

And all.... that we have...... is hope and love..so don't you
worry child....... don't you worry bout a thing in the night,

but those, can lift us up......so we can rise above..........

so we can rise above............so we can rise above..........the madness....

And all.... that we have...... is hope and love..so don't you
worry child....... don't you worry bout a thing in the night,

but those, can lift us up......so we can rise above..........

so we can rise above............so we can rise above..........the madness....

Ba da da da da da da dum.........Ba da da da da da da dum.........

Ba da da da da da da dum.........Ba da da da da da da dum.........

SO...................GIVE.................LOVE.... ..............

love ((((((((((((((((hope3)))))))))))))))))

starlet44

Thank-you again for everyones' input and support. I found a poem that I found very inspiring, and explains relapse pretty simply.I believe it's called Solotraveller. I'm going to see my girls next week, for my oldest, and two granddaughters are moving out West in the middle of March. Which is killing me, but I have to accept it' and I know I have to be positive for her and for me. No more I'm sorries. As painful as her letter to me, and difficult to accept,it was, it was so very honest and I have so much respect for her, she wrote the letter out of love, and I wasn't seeing it like that at first. I talked with my addictions counsellor about it, and actually read her the letter, and she really helped me put it in perspective.So I'm a little nervous about going back home at this point in my recovery, but I do need to see them before they leave. I'm thinking if I go to a meeting before and go to a meeting after, I should be safe from relapse. Thank-you all.

teej

Excellent idea star!! Hang in there, you can do it!