3 days not drinking, but superbowl coming up
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 14
Hi there,
Wow - your post sounds so much like one that I would post - and I guess that's why this "support" stuff eventually starts to work...cause, please don't take any disrespect to this - but you are rationalizing things to your advantage.
I am a major alcoholic. I am still am. I've having a hell of a time becoming an "inactive" alcoholic. I am probably in some ways a lot like you. I have a really good job...and most people who I work with would classify me as a diligent employee. I graduated from an Ivy League college, and I also have an MBA degree.
I have been becoming so drunk, for so long (I'm 30 years old now) that I can't stand it anymore. I hate the hangovers - I hate the weight gain - and I hate the lack of energy. My brain feels like it is stupider than it used to be.
But - my entire social life revolves around alcohol. Most of my friends out here are friends from college from the East Coast. I can't imagine my life without hanging out with them, and having drinks. I made my first honest attempt at getting sober about 3 weeks ago, and I went for 3 days without a drink, and then another 4 having just one or two drinks (and hiding that fact from my fiance, who still thinks that I went 7 days).
The problem with giving yourself just "one day" to get drunk, like on the Super Bowl, is that you are probably going to enjoy the drinks so much, that you will just go for it, and then have a really bad hangover the next day. The hangover will suck because you haven't had one in awhile and forgot how bad they feel, so once you get slightly over how crappy you feel, you will probably want to have another beer the next night to mitigate the pain, and then it starts to snowball, and you find yourself right back at your old habits.
I'm not basing this on any books I've read, or any anecdotal stories, but on what has really happened to me - and I really have had the best intentions at getting sober, but just letting myself have that "one" day. It goes downhill, cause you get hungover, and when you are hungover, you let your resolve slip away, and it's pretty damn hard to get that resolve back once you are in a spiral - however slow that spiral might be going.
I also got invited to a Super Bowl party this Sunday - and the people who are going to be there are very close friends of mine from college. All week I've been struggling with it, because I'm afraid to go because I know how hammered I'll get if I'm there, but I also feel like I don't want to miss out on the fun of being there. Against all of my normal instincts, I called my friend who is hosting it, and made up a reason why I couldn't go. I really do want to go, but I know that going will be a really bad trigger for me to get drunk and do coke. I am still struggling with not going, but I am trying to focus on how gross I will feel the next day, if I do go. The thing is - it is so much cooler to have your life together, and get healthy, and actually have a real purpose in your life....other than alcohol and drugs. My self esteem goes into the toilet when I am hungover, and all I wish for is to be healthy and sober. I have the choice to do that - but usually I am too weak to make that choice - but how cool would that be if I actually was able to do it?? It is SO much more attractive than a drunk who can't say no to some stupid Super Bowl party. Now - I am saying this about me - Not You. I have no idea what your situation is, but hopefully hearing about me will help you in some way...? I just think that being able to say "no" to a really great party, because you are exhibiting self control, and trying to better your life, is a pretty damn respectable thing to do, despite the flak that you will probably get from your friends in the short-term. I would bet that, secretly, some of them will probably be jealous of your self control, and wish that they, too, could deal with their demons.
Maybe I'm all off with my analysis here, but I guess it was worth a shot. I just think that you may be a far more interesting and intriguing guy if you choose not to go, instead of just another drunk guy at the party.
Just my two cents...good luck bro, and peace...
-Katie
Wow - your post sounds so much like one that I would post - and I guess that's why this "support" stuff eventually starts to work...cause, please don't take any disrespect to this - but you are rationalizing things to your advantage.
I am a major alcoholic. I am still am. I've having a hell of a time becoming an "inactive" alcoholic. I am probably in some ways a lot like you. I have a really good job...and most people who I work with would classify me as a diligent employee. I graduated from an Ivy League college, and I also have an MBA degree.
I have been becoming so drunk, for so long (I'm 30 years old now) that I can't stand it anymore. I hate the hangovers - I hate the weight gain - and I hate the lack of energy. My brain feels like it is stupider than it used to be.
But - my entire social life revolves around alcohol. Most of my friends out here are friends from college from the East Coast. I can't imagine my life without hanging out with them, and having drinks. I made my first honest attempt at getting sober about 3 weeks ago, and I went for 3 days without a drink, and then another 4 having just one or two drinks (and hiding that fact from my fiance, who still thinks that I went 7 days).
The problem with giving yourself just "one day" to get drunk, like on the Super Bowl, is that you are probably going to enjoy the drinks so much, that you will just go for it, and then have a really bad hangover the next day. The hangover will suck because you haven't had one in awhile and forgot how bad they feel, so once you get slightly over how crappy you feel, you will probably want to have another beer the next night to mitigate the pain, and then it starts to snowball, and you find yourself right back at your old habits.
I'm not basing this on any books I've read, or any anecdotal stories, but on what has really happened to me - and I really have had the best intentions at getting sober, but just letting myself have that "one" day. It goes downhill, cause you get hungover, and when you are hungover, you let your resolve slip away, and it's pretty damn hard to get that resolve back once you are in a spiral - however slow that spiral might be going.
I also got invited to a Super Bowl party this Sunday - and the people who are going to be there are very close friends of mine from college. All week I've been struggling with it, because I'm afraid to go because I know how hammered I'll get if I'm there, but I also feel like I don't want to miss out on the fun of being there. Against all of my normal instincts, I called my friend who is hosting it, and made up a reason why I couldn't go. I really do want to go, but I know that going will be a really bad trigger for me to get drunk and do coke. I am still struggling with not going, but I am trying to focus on how gross I will feel the next day, if I do go. The thing is - it is so much cooler to have your life together, and get healthy, and actually have a real purpose in your life....other than alcohol and drugs. My self esteem goes into the toilet when I am hungover, and all I wish for is to be healthy and sober. I have the choice to do that - but usually I am too weak to make that choice - but how cool would that be if I actually was able to do it?? It is SO much more attractive than a drunk who can't say no to some stupid Super Bowl party. Now - I am saying this about me - Not You. I have no idea what your situation is, but hopefully hearing about me will help you in some way...? I just think that being able to say "no" to a really great party, because you are exhibiting self control, and trying to better your life, is a pretty damn respectable thing to do, despite the flak that you will probably get from your friends in the short-term. I would bet that, secretly, some of them will probably be jealous of your self control, and wish that they, too, could deal with their demons.
Maybe I'm all off with my analysis here, but I guess it was worth a shot. I just think that you may be a far more interesting and intriguing guy if you choose not to go, instead of just another drunk guy at the party.
Just my two cents...good luck bro, and peace...
-Katie
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hmmm...
when I was a drinker ... so were my friends.
Now that I am sober...so are my friends.
Where did I find these new healthy people?
In AA.
AA members do have a blast!
when I was a drinker ... so were my friends.
Now that I am sober...so are my friends.
Where did I find these new healthy people?
In AA.
AA members do have a blast!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 8
Thamks for the posts guys- Katie - it sound like we do have a lot in common, and I think I am rationalizing to give me reasons to drink, and I see how moderation can be a slippery slope. It just seems that drinking has beome such a part of my social life that it is hard to envision something else. I did have a bout with coke a few years back (the joys of affluence in the bay area, huh?) but I will never touch the stuff again - that stuff allowed me to drink a lot.
Today
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: The South
Posts: 20
To Rugby and Katie - This is my first day on this board, but I know for me, one drink means not stopping until it is time for bed. I also know that I am going to have change my habits and distance myself from some of my friends for a while. That is going to be difficult because most of my drinking buddies are also my customers and the nature of my business allows us to drink whenever we want for the most part. If you can avoid the party, that is probably a good idea. Just my 2 pennies worth.
Ex Pain Med Inspector
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Moundsville, West Virginia
Posts: 24
Rugbyguy,
I am a former alcoholic/drugaddict. I have been sober for 85 days. In my honest opinion if you go out and drink today at the party, the only person you are hurting is yourself. Perhaps you are not ready for recovery, because honestly if you were. Drinking at this party would not even be an issue. Because you would avoid triggers like going to the party. I have been there, I used to drink every single ******* day and eat atleast 5-10 pain pill or snort depending on what they were. It went on for 8 years. I worked I was a good worker, always got my promotions, bonuses, all that good stuff. Was even partssalesman of the month a few times. But I was a shell of who I was and who I wanted to be. Recovery for most is a lifestyle change and everything, new friends, no more old hangouts, old habbits, not till you are strong enough to overcome. I thought I would never be saying anything like this 90 days ago. I didnt even want to get sober, I was happy spending 75-100 bucks a day minimum on pills and drinking whatever i could find, and living my life. Now that I am sober I would not trade it for the world. If you have that feeling for longer a week, you will see what we are all talking about. I think it would be more self rewarding if you stayed at home with perhaps your girl, or whoever and just stayed sober and watch the game. Life is so much better feeling alive. I did not feel alive for 8 years, the world was passing me by. So if you are serious you wont drink. This is just my .02 I hope you make the right decision. Because if you drink today, you are going ot have to start over again. But for some people it takes a hell of lot more falling down and getting back up before they realize enough is enough. I hope this message reaches you well. Breathe, touch, taste, love, most importantly live! Make that choice.
I am a former alcoholic/drugaddict. I have been sober for 85 days. In my honest opinion if you go out and drink today at the party, the only person you are hurting is yourself. Perhaps you are not ready for recovery, because honestly if you were. Drinking at this party would not even be an issue. Because you would avoid triggers like going to the party. I have been there, I used to drink every single ******* day and eat atleast 5-10 pain pill or snort depending on what they were. It went on for 8 years. I worked I was a good worker, always got my promotions, bonuses, all that good stuff. Was even partssalesman of the month a few times. But I was a shell of who I was and who I wanted to be. Recovery for most is a lifestyle change and everything, new friends, no more old hangouts, old habbits, not till you are strong enough to overcome. I thought I would never be saying anything like this 90 days ago. I didnt even want to get sober, I was happy spending 75-100 bucks a day minimum on pills and drinking whatever i could find, and living my life. Now that I am sober I would not trade it for the world. If you have that feeling for longer a week, you will see what we are all talking about. I think it would be more self rewarding if you stayed at home with perhaps your girl, or whoever and just stayed sober and watch the game. Life is so much better feeling alive. I did not feel alive for 8 years, the world was passing me by. So if you are serious you wont drink. This is just my .02 I hope you make the right decision. Because if you drink today, you are going ot have to start over again. But for some people it takes a hell of lot more falling down and getting back up before they realize enough is enough. I hope this message reaches you well. Breathe, touch, taste, love, most importantly live! Make that choice.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
rugby............lack of power is our delimma.
If alcoholics had the power to "will power" this away, we would have already.
This is a disease............treat it as such.
Oh, and if you have never been to AA, or any other form of formal recovery, may want to go and see for yourself, FIRST!!!
If alcoholics had the power to "will power" this away, we would have already.
This is a disease............treat it as such.
Oh, and if you have never been to AA, or any other form of formal recovery, may want to go and see for yourself, FIRST!!!
twingram
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: south heights
Posts: 10
Hello Rugby, I am a 47 year old alcoholic who has been sober for over 2 years. I have been sitting here reading posts this afternoon and I came upon yours...I read all of them and then I read them all again and then I made notes so I could write this to you. I am glad you found this place and I want you to really think hard about why you ended up here with us. You sound like a typical young person today...you work and you party. I have a 27 year old son and an almost 29 year old daughter. Both of my kids work and have homes and they both drink with their friends. However it would never occur to either one of them to come to a place like this! The reason you are here is because you are an alcoholic and you can sense that ,deep within yourself. You are smart enough to realize that you are in deep trouble and serious danger because of your addiction to alcohol and that is why you are asking us to give you some answers that might justify your behavior. You asked if it would be the end of the world if you drank for just one day, and then went back to being sober. It does'nt work that way I 'm afraid to tell you. You don't have even alittle control over your drinking,your drinking controls you! Your posts are filled with reasons and reasonings about why you have to continue to drink, You don't want to ruin the Stupid Bowl party for everyone by not drinking and making everyone wonder why you are not drinking...PLEASE,do you really believe that your drinking is the only way anyone is gonna have a good time? If you don't go to the party with your ribs everyone is going to starve? You have been planning how much you are going to drink for a week. People who are able to handle alcohol and not abuse it, do not spend the week before a party daydreaming and planning how much booze they are gonna have to drink 5 days from now...You are an alcoholic and you need help! I think that "Getoverit " got the same feelings stirring in them as I do from your posts...Too many excuses,too many reasons why you can't stop right this minute but you will do it soon....real soon...I hope it is soon enough or you may end up like me. My last hangover lasted almost a week,it was wicked and it is probablly a miracle I did'nt have a stroke. Your posts make me angry and they also make me feel so sorry for you, if you cannot imagine your life without alcohol then you need to get help. If you think that you cannot have fun without drinking then you need to get other friends who want more out of life than a buzz...and they are out there! They are not necessarily AA people,I never went anywhere for help I just got tired of being sick and planning my drinking ahead of time and making excuses to myself why I could'nt stop just yet,until something so horrible happened in my life that I can never change it now. So I am sober, and it is wonderful and fun and fulfilling. Your ocean theory is very interesting, dipping in alittle and it's cold so you back up and then go in just alittle further next time....some people just realize that they can not handle the cold water and they stay away from the ocean altogether!! Best of luck to you and I hope you make wise choices for yourself before your life passes you by...in a blur.
Lurker
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Western NC
Posts: 783
Rugby, It took tuff love for me to get my head right. Some times it is the only way. I prey you can control your drinking. I just know I can not. I almost wish I could, and I mean almost. If i could I would not be able to hang out with all these fine peeps.
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